Page 191 of Nanny and the Beast

"Good night, Helena," we say in unison.

She smiles at us. The door clicks shut behind her.

"I don't deserve her," I say.

"She really is an angel," Alaric says. "Although it stings when she shows favoritism. You've always been her favorite. You have no idea how jealous that makes me."

"I wonder what she added to the pancakes," I say, leaning back in the armchair.

It feels like having a great cup of coffee in the morning, but ten times better. Some of the anxiety in my head fades, replaced by chemical bliss.

"I don't know, but it was the best breakfast I ever had," he says.

There's a crack of lightning outside. A moment later, thunder follows, along with pouring rain. The scent of wet earth fills my nostrils even though the windows are closed.

"Do you ever wonder if you're cursed?" I ask.

"Cursed to be awesome and superior to everyone else? Yeah, all the time," he says.

When I look over at Alaric, I find him already watching me.

"Shit happens," he says. "But life goes on. You have to keep it moving. It's okay to mourn the relationship you almost had, but you can't let yourself be sucked in by the darkness."

"How?" I whisper.

"By giving your life more meaning," he says. "Reconnect with the children. Do things that you used to love as a kid. Watch a pretty sunset. Read a book. Find beauty in the little things and just keep going."

"Is that how you did it?" I ask, looking over at him.

He clears his throat. "Yeah, I had to learn it the hard way."

"Be honest with me now," I say. "Does it ever get better?"

He's quiet for a moment as he stares out the window. The rain creates a secluded environment, making it feel like the words we exchange tonight are sacred.

"You learn how to cope," he says. "The beautiful thing about life is that each new day is a fresh start. And it gets boring if you stay stuck in the same loop of thoughts."

The rain intensifies, beating against the window like a steady drum. And in this moment, I know that I can say whatever's on my mind and not be judged for it.

"I really don't want to go back to the way I used to be," I say.

"I won't let that happen," Alaric says.

It's not a promise that he should be making, but in this moment, I believe him.

Alaric clears his throat and blinks.

"Fuck, I thought the pancakes were supposed to make us happy," he says.

"She said nothing about happiness," I reply. "Maybe they were meant to make us cry ourselves to sleep."

"You know what? I wouldn't put it past her." He laughs.

I stand and walk toward the bed, seeking some warmth and comfort. Alaric turns off the lights and gets on the other side of the bed, just like when we were kids.

I chuckle into the dark.

"What?" he asks, turning his head toward me.

---