“Want to talk about it?”
I am a man of action, not words, but it’s only fair he understands why I need his necklace.
“I have three other brothers. Lyall, my twin. He and I are the eldest. Gunnar, the second born. Wulfric, our youngest brother. Our Alpha.” The words are like acid in my throat.
“Alpha?” Jamie wrinkles his nose. “Oh, like in shifter books. Wow. The books are pretty accurate to real life.”
“I cannot say what is in these books of yours, but where I am from, Alpha is a title given to one who rules over not just hisimmediate family but the entire pack. It can be earned through strength alone or bestowed at birth. He or she will make the decisions that impact the community and help keep our kind safe.”
“And that’s what your brother Wulfric is?”
I grimace. “He is undeserving of the title.”
“You think you should have been Alpha.”
“I don’t think. I know.” To my horror, I realize I want to tell Jamie everything about my family history. I want to tear open old wounds and bare the most painful parts of my past to him. He wouldn’t judge me. He’d understand, I’m sure of it. For so long, I’ve carried these scars, and all of a sudden, they’re too heavy to bear alone. Grinding my jaw to keep my painful secrets locked inside, I decide to keep things short and simple. “Wulfric has weakened our pack. Because of him, our father was murdered by human hunters.”
“Oh my god,” Jamie whispers. “Anders, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t,” I say through gritted teeth. “I don’t need or want pity. What’s done is done.”
Jamie winces, and instantly, I want to kill whoever made him look hurt… except it was me. So I’d have to kill myself. Damn it. “It wasn’t pity. Just sorry you had to experience that. I also lost my dad. My mom too. I know how much it hurts.”
I didn’t know he’d also lost family members. We have more in common than I realized, despite our many differences.
I want to tell him everything. How the memories sometimes rear their ugly heads late at night when I try to sleep. How I’ve reimagined that day every single day, tormenting myself over everything I could have done differently. How the guilt sometimes consumes me piece by piece. It was because of me that he was killed. Because I wasn’t there. I wasn’t strong enough. If I’d just been there, I—
I force those poisonous thoughts away with a harsh clearing of my throat. “We dealt with the hunters. Wulfric took over after Father’s murder. He’s a poor imitation. Nothing like either of our parents.”
“I’m sure it must have been hard for him too, Anders. He’s probably doing the best he can.”
I shake my head, refusing to let go of my anger. I need that anger to fuel me so I can return home and challenge him. “You don’t know a thing about Wulfric, pet.” I try not to be angry at him. He knows little of our world. “Trust me when I say he’s been a poor leader, and his actions have weakened our pack. He brought ahumaninto our pack. After everything they’d done.”
“Where’d this human come from?”
“Your time. He’d traveled to ours, no doubt with the intention of hunting us all down and killing us. Humans can’t be trusted. They hate my kind. Always have.”
“But I don’t,” Jamie reminds me. “You’re super cool.”
I’m caught off guard. I’m not used to having my beliefs questioned like this. If it were anyone else, I’d bleed them for questioning me, but I’d never hurt Jamie. “That’s true,” I admit. “But you’re an exception, pet. You’re ulfhednar at heart. Humans hate and fear us. Our gift of the change makes us untrustworthy in the eyes of many. Savages.”
Jamie’s shoulders slump. “Sorry to hear that. I’ll be honest, a lot of humans even now hate wolves.”
I snort. “Unsurprising.”
“But a lot of them also really love wolves. For so many, wolves are considered a vital part of our ecosystem, and some people have dedicated themselves to preserving the species.”
I narrow my eyes. “Preserving? Why would wolves need preservation?”
“Humans hunted wolves almost to extinction.”
“So, things truly have not changed. If that’s how they treat wild wolves, can you imagine how they would treat ulfhednar? They are the true monsters.”
“I won’t argue with you there. Humanity disappoints me more than it surprises me.” One side of Jamie’s full lips curve up. “But I think for every lousy person, there’s a few trying to make the world better for the next generation.”
How interesting. I’d never thought of it that way, that good could rival or even outweigh the bad. My mate has a unique way of looking at things.
“Anyway, your brother’s mate was human?”