Page 64 of Taming of a Wolf

“Come on inside. Let’s get that reindeer ready for butchering.” Helga hefts the whole reindeer over her shoulder with strength no ordinary small woman her age should be capable of.

I want to shift and cry out for her to wait. I miss her. I miss Gunnar and Lyall. I want to wrestle with them, shift and hunt with them. I want to hug my aunt, the woman who became a second mother to me after losing my own.

All four of them go into the house together. The door slams, concealing them from view, and despite my furs, a shudder runs down my spine. Before I can stop myself, I dash from the trees and approach the house from the back.

The thralls that used to be present in the gardens are not there anymore, so nobody notices my arrival. I put my paws up on the windowsill and peer inside. I have a view of the four of them as they gather around the table. Helga pours homemade mead into wooden mugs, and they sit together, warmed by the fire andby the company of pack. Gunnar barks a rare laugh, his smile softening the hard lines on his face. Helga pats Kieran’s hand as he regales them with an exaggerated tale of their hunt.

And Wulfric… Wulfric only has eyes for his mate. I barely recognize my little brother as he smiles, his eyes aglow with tenderness.

Why? Why do they look sodamnhappy? Why are they carrying on as if I never existed?

Helga suddenly frowns. “Is it not strange? How different things are without Anders?”

My heart leaps. At last, they’ve mentioned me. They haven’t forgotten about me! I could weep from relief.

Wulfric’s smile falls off his face. “Aye. I know what you mean. Things are… quieter.”

Gunnar hums thoughtfully. “It’s strange. I’ve barely noticed his absence until you brought him up.”

Wulfric grimaces. “It’s for the best that he’s gone. Things are peaceful at last. I never have to worry about him challenging me or blaming me for every single little thing wrong in his life. If I could, I’d exile him again.”

“He wasn’t a great guy,” Kieran says, squeezing Wulfric’s hand. “Let’s not talk about him anymore, okay?”

“Fine by me,” Wulfric growls.

And that’s that. They move on to other things, and I’m forgotten about.

Can I even blame Wulfric for hating me so?

I brought this huge, powerful man to his knees, crippled by the cruel words I’d spewed at him.

If I’d been on that beach when the hunters came, our father would still be here.

Wulfric had collapsed, curled in on himself, like he was back on that beach. I’d done that to him, and I’d felt justified in breaking him down to nothing. Because as long as I blamedWulfric for our father’s death, I couldn’t blame myself for not being there. It was his fault, not mine.Not mine.

A void yawns within my chest.

My pack is so much happier without me, and I can’t even fault them for it. I slide down from the window and shift back. I struggle to breathe around the ache in my throat. My eyes burn and prickle with unshed tears. I draw my knees to my chest and try to breathe, but everything hurts too damn much.

I’ve pushed away my only family, and I have no one to blame but myself. I can never ask them for forgiveness, not after how cruel I was. I was so focused on everything I’d lost that I ceased to care about the people in my life who were still there. And now, I’ve lost them forever. They don’t miss me. They don’t even care. And how can I blame them when I was nothing but cruel, self-absorbed, and bitter?

“A-Anders?” A hushed voice chokes out my name.

I lurch away from the window, horrified to be caught in such a moment of weakness. I scrub frantically at my eyes, and my breath catches as Lyall comes into focus. His mane of golden hair blows in the wind, and his eyes are wide.

“I knew it was you,” Lyall croaks, voice shaking. “Gods. Brother, what are you doing here?”

I could cry. At least someone hasn’t forgotten about me. Before I can stop myself, I’ve wrenched my twin into a bone-breaking hug. Despite my inner turmoil, I manage a smile. “It’s good to see you too.” I hold him until I’m sure my tears won’t fall. Then I pull away to cup the back of his neck. The frayed bond between us glows with tentative hope.

Lyall grins, eyes wet, and claps me on the back. “I’ve missed you. What are you doing skulking around like a thief?” His smile wavers. He steps away from me. “You haven’t come back to cause trouble, have you?”

I shake my hand. “Not here.” Gripping his arm, I steer him from the house and into the trees. “No, just to check in on everyone. How are you?” I swing my arm around his shoulder and give him a shake.

Lyall chuckles. “I’m well. And you?”

I take a moment with my reply, parsing through my heartache to the memories of this morning with Jamie. “I found my mate.”

Lyall whips around to face me. “Truly? That’s amazing, brother! How did you meet him?”

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