The shrill beep of the microwave cuts the silence between us.
Kane sets the plate in front of me before settling in the barstool by my side. When the first bite of melty cheese and tangy tomato sauce hits my tongue, my eyes practically roll back into my skull.
This is so amazing.
Everything here with this pack has been amazing. The waves of insecurity I was feeling earlier, the doubt I was feeling about my position in this pack, return.
I glance at Kane in between bites. His face is cast in the shadows of the dim kitchen and he’s staring at the counter in front of us as if he’s deep in thought.
I don’t know if I know how to handle silence between us.
“I—I’m sorry for falling asleep earlier,” I say softly after I finish my first slice. I also don’t know how to deal with the guilt and insecurity I’m feeling. The closest thing that comes to mind is apologizing.
I’m starting to realize that’s probably because begging for forgiveness has always been expected of me, even if I didn’t know what I did was wrong. Even if I knew I wasn’t the one at fault.
“You have nothing to apologize for, little one. I’m glad you got some rest,” he says, finally turning to look at me, his comforting soft smile back on his lips.
“I—I wanted to try and cook dinner,” I murmur, shoving more pizza in my mouth when he stays silent.
Kane is the most reserved out of all the alphas in the Ward pack. I guess Archer could also be considered reserved, but I feel like I can at least see when Archer is angry. He’s not very good at hiding his facial expressions.
With Kane, it’s a lot harder to try and gauge what he’s thinking. There’s a part of me that panics, sitting beside him when he’s silent. I can’t help but worry he’s secretly upset at something I’ve said or done, even though he’s shown me nothing but kindness.
“Why did you want to cook dinner?” he asks, finally turning to look at me.
“Because—because I wanted to be helpful,” I say, unable to continue holding his intense gaze.
“I’m sure everyone here has already told you this, but if you need to hear it again, I’m more than willing to say it.” He reaches out to brush his fingertips against my arm. “You don’thaveto do anything for us.”
“But—but you’ve done so much for me, I can’t just sit therewithout doing anything to help you all,” I say, clutching the hem of the t-shirt I’m wearing, my throat closing with panic.
“Hey, look at me, little one,” he says softly as he gently massages the spots of tension in my shoulders. When I look into his eyes, I can see the sincerity in his gaze. It’s almost as if he’s making sure I know there’s no room for doubt in his mind.
“Just because you don’t have to do anything for us doesn’t mean you can’t, if you want to. What we mean is you only have to do things you want to do, nothing more, nothing less. So you’re more than welcome to cook us dinner, but only if that’s what you want to do. Nothing bad will happen if what you want doesn’t match the way you were taught to serve alphas in the past.”
I’m grateful his calloused fingertips are still tracing small circles into my skin because if he weren’t, I think I’d turn into a blubbering mess. I’m still barely holding back tears as I give him a jerky nod before turning back to the rest of my pizza slice.
I don’t pull myself together until I finish my food, washing it down with water and my pain medication. Kane just sits there by my side, offering me silent support.
I hobble over to the sink, washing my hands quickly and drying them on the back of the t-shirt I’m wearing before I turn to face him again.
“Thank you,” I say, biting the inside of my cheek. “I—I really do appreciate all you and your pack have done for me. I just—I just think it’ll take me a while for part of my brain to believe what you’re saying.” My eyes widen in panic at my words. “Not that I think you’re lying to me, or anything, I just—I just?—”
“I get it,” he says. “No need to worry.”
My shoulders relax in relief.
“I know you just slept for a while, are you tired yet?”
I glance up at him, a bit hesitant. Why is he asking?
He seems to see my hesitation. “I’m not tired just yet,” he says, “I was just wondering whether I could show you where I go whenI can’t sleep, so just in case you can’t sleep in the future, you have somewhere to go.”
“That would be really nice,” I say, a bit relieved.
He sweeps me into his arms, carrying me through the parts of the first floor I haven’t been shown before. All of them seem to be really comfortable sweeping me into their arms and carrying me places, almost like a princess.
“I have a hard time falling asleep most nights,” Kane murmurs softly as he nudges open a door. “I usually spend my time in here.”