Page 31 of Benidorm Again

He seems uncomfortable, as though he’s hiding something. Something big.

‘She’s very…’

‘Oh,’ I whisper. ‘She’s very pregnant?’ He’ll be wanting to avoid a royal scandal.

‘Can you be very pregnant?’ He throws his head back and sighs loudly. ‘No. She’s not pregnant.’

‘Well, what is she then?’

‘She’s very gay.’

I did not expect that.

‘Can you be very gay?’ I ask stupidly. Of course, you can. Just look at Ged and Liam.

Luke gives me a half-smile. ‘She’s an avid member of the all-women’s rowing club. Chair of the women-onlywrestling society. She founded the women’s Vote Minge annual jamboree, and she lives in Hebden Bridge on a barge with a woman called Stevie. They share several cats and want to get married. I’d say yes, she’s very gay.’

That all makes sense.

‘She’s not very happy about the article, but the Palace seem pleased to have her linked to a man. Especially my family. We all go way back. My father has insisted I play along.’

I’m appalled. How awful. ‘What can you do about it?’

He shrugs in a way that suggests he has already tried to get out of it.

‘Is that why she came to see you perform last night too?’ I ask.

He nods his head. ‘She relies on her trust fund, so… we may have to play along for as long as it takes, perhaps years.’

‘Sounds like she doesn’t have much of a choice. It’s not very progressive, is it? Personally, I think you should make a stand. It’s not your sacrifice to make. What if you fall in love and want to get married yourself some day?’

Luke fixes me a strange look. ‘Exactly, what I was thinking.’

I sip at my wine, but I can still feel his eyes on me. ‘I have to say. You seem to be a magnet for gay wives. Dolly,Hermione… there has to be a less gay wife for you somewhere.’

‘Precisely. What if I’m already engaged to be married?’ he says, smirking. ‘To a non-gay wife. Then they’d have to find someone else.’

‘Are you?’

He puts down his knife and fork and leans back in his chair regarding me. ‘Not yet.’

‘Oh.’

And just like that, there’s a bit of tension.

Chapter 12

Once back in my glorious bedroom, I reflect on the lunch with Luke. After his confession, he sat looking at me with a huge question in his eyes. I panicked and made a joke about having the perfect wife in mind for him. I told him all about Liberty and her relentless pursuit for a man, any man, as long as he has eyes that can point in the same direction and a full set of teeth.

I wander over to the desk by the bay window in my room. There’s a brochure with pictures of a spa and people having relaxing massages and hot stones placed on their shoulder blades. In my current on-edge state, it looks very inviting. There’s also a hot tub, and I experience an instant flashback to Benidorm, and me riding Matteo like a bucking broncho, without a care in the world for health and safety or public hygiene.

I ring reception to see about the Scandinavian-style spa. She quickly tells me that all I have to do is turn up. It’s all complimentary.

‘Complimentary?’

‘Yes, madam. Free of charge. Your bill is completely taken care of.’

The Sinfonia are incredibly generous.

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