Page 42 of Benidorm Again

As I remain clamped to Luke, my only option is to point behind me so that the audience can direct their applause to our talented musicians, who are now shaking their heads at our weird behaviour.

The Maestro joins us at the front of the stage. I hear him mumble under his breath. ‘For fuck’s sake.’ He faces the audience, takes a swift bow and stomps past us off stage. ‘I’m never working with you imbeciles ever again.’

Chapter 16

‘Oh, my goodness,’ Luke says, clinking wine glasses with me later that evening. ‘I literally owe you my life. You have no idea what disgrace I would have brought to my family if you hadn’t hidden me like you did. Here’s to your quick thinking and your billowing petticoats.’

We are dining in the private room. It’s breath-takingly elegant with wooden surrounds, a big roaring fire, twinkling lights strung up, candles everywhere and exotic flowers bursting from designer vases. I’m finding it difficult not to act like we’re not on a romantic date because, with the delicious cuisine and free-flowing wine, it very much feels like a date. Instead of just food on a plate in a room.

After the headrush of the performance and then the ridiculous way we had to side-step off stage to save any further embarrassment, we collapsed into peals of giggles. Dolly took one look at Luke’s gigantic hard-on backstageand proclaimed I was just as much to blame. Me!! She shooed us both off to our dressing rooms with a huge tut.

We have been laughing like children about it ever since. We’ve been highly unprofessional. Which just makes it all the more hilarious.

‘I’m not sure Dolly will ever speak to me again,’ he says, sitting back down. ‘Shame because she’s been an excellent work-wife. Sorry. Co-worker.’ He does air quotes. ‘Really looks after me.’

‘It was not your finest hour,’ I say.

‘I think it is fair to say that you have single-handedly saved both the British monarchy and the House of Glucksburg. On their behalf, Constance Cooper, I salute you.’ Luke stands up and does a formal salute.

He is quite tipsy, and so am I. ‘That hardly makes up for saving my actual life.’

Luke gives me a bashful look. He still has not mentioned his heroics to a single person. ‘Why don’t we say this makes us even?’

I raise my glass to his. It’s hardly a fair comparison.

‘Connie, we are electric on stage.’ His face grows serious. ‘Tell me it’s not just me. Tell me you can feel it too.’

Shitting hell.The temperature has just gone up a thousanddegrees.

I shuffle in my seat. We still have three more performances to get through.

Luke reaches across to take my hand. ‘You do something to me. It’s like my entire body bursts into flames whenever you walk into the room.’

He is gazing lustfully at me. I need to nip this in the bud.

‘Luke. Please stop. There’s no point.’

A knock on the door breaks the tension as the waiter comes in. I whip my hand from Luke’s before he sees and we sit in silence as he clears our plates away.

When the waiter leaves, we resume the conversation.

Luke sighs loudly. ‘Why? Why is there no point?’ he asks, reaching over to top up my glass. I cover it with my hand.

‘I’m with someone.’

Luke’s jaw falls slightly open. ‘You are?’ He regards me for a moment as he visibly recovers his composure. I have seen a full range of expressions cross his face. From a shocked, bumbling Hugh Grant to resigned. ‘Of course you are,’ he says with a huge sigh. ‘Look at you. Why wouldn’t you be?’

What a relief to finally get that out. I’m glad Matteo is not here to witness how unnecessarily long it has taken me to admit to Luke that I’m in a relationship. And hopefully, I have misread how deeply Luke feels for me and we can getback to being co-workers. ‘Actually, I will have some wine, please.’ I remove my hand and watch as the dark red wine sloshes into the over-sized carved crystal glass. It's time for a change of subject. ‘So, the weather’s been nice so far, hasn’t it?’ I almost choke on the words.

‘Is it serious?’ he asks, maintaining eye contact. He's clearly not British enough to be tempted into weather talk.

I nod.

‘You love him?’

I nod.

‘How long have you been together?’

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