Page 44 of Benidorm Again

‘Well, obviously it’s full of things, beautiful things but the point is… there’s nothing there without you.’

‘I can’t. I have personal performances to give.’

‘Personal performances?’ Luke leans towards me, his eyes wide.

‘No. Not performances. I’m making it sound very… erm, well, they’re just gigs. Paid gigs. So, I need to go and do them for Nancy. My agent.’

Luke flops back in his seat, disappointed. ‘But I want you to come away with me.’

I shake my head at him. It’s time to spell it out for him. ‘You’re a really sweet guy, and I like you a lot, but…’

He gives me a smouldering look. ‘Honey, the very last thing that I am… is sweet.’

I’m not sure where to go with that. I’ll try another adjective. ‘Okay, you’re a really thoughtful –’

‘No. Try again. I’m selfish to the core. My own mother would tell you that for free.’

‘You’re really… erm, talented?’

Luke leans forward, his forehead thumping onto the table. ‘Kill me now.’

‘The point is, I’m spoken for. I’m in love with someone else. Nothing can happen between us.’

He looks like a boy of sixteen who has just been told he’s not allowed to play any more Xbox games. He lifts his head and examines me thoughtfully as his brows knit together. He drums his fingers on the table as though he’s thinking of a solution to this problem of me not willing to give things a go with him.

‘I’m not a fool. We have chemistry whether you like it or not. I can tell that you can feel it too. The way you look at me. The way your hand is trembling now.’

Christ Almighty.

I hurriedly put down my glass. ‘I’m sorry. Maybe I should have told you earlier,’ I say. ‘I mean, I’m sorry you have those feelings for me but, truly, they are not reciprocated.’

He mulls over my words, not taking his eyes from mine for a second. ‘Marry me.’

‘Excuse me?’ I can’t believe he just asked me that.

‘Marry me. Be my wife.’

‘But we haven’t even kissed!’Dear God, is that the only reason I can come up with?‘I mean we barely know each other.’

‘You’ve known me almost as long as him.’

‘We’re work colleagues. We should keep it that way.’

‘Lotsof couples meet at work. You said it yourself.’

‘I’m spoken for.’

‘You’ve known him a week,’ he says. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Marry me.’

‘You’re the one being ridiculous.’

‘I’d make a great husband. You’d make me a great wife. What’s the problem here?’

Oh. My. God. I am not liking the way this evening is going.

‘No,’ I say leaning back on my chair. ‘I’m pretty sure you can avoid marrying a lesbian some other way.’

‘I can’t believe you’re rejecting me.’ Luke lounges even further back in his chair, and lets out a long sigh of frustration.

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