Page 48 of Benidorm Again

Dolly walks up the aisle doing a head count before we set off. She stops briefly, leaning down to murmur to me, ‘I bet I can guess who the anonymous source is, can you?’ And without waiting for a reply, she shuffles back down the aisle.

I don’t care. I really don’t care.

This is the final leg of the tour and I have two performances to make everything right. No more ridiculous headlines. No more ridiculous shenanigans on stage. No more naive idiot. I am a part-time, professional, classical music singer. It’s time I grew up and acted like one.

It is a huge relief to see the familiar landmarks of my beloved Newcastle appear in the distance. The Glasshouse glitteringagainst the skyline on the Gateshead Quayside, St James Park towering over the city, the high-rise hotels reflecting the late morning sunshine, the seven bridges of all shapes and sizes crossing the river. As we pass by the Gateshead Angel welcoming us back up North, and the coach turns off the road just before the Tyne Bridge to dip down to the quayside, I know I am home.

I text Ged and Liam to announce I am back. They are dying to hear all my news and will meet me off the coach as today is Saturday, and they are off work.

A shadow falls over me. I look up to see Luke standing in the aisle by my seat. His eyes are bloodshot. His skin is grey. His hair is sticking up all over the place as though he spent the night in a skip.

‘I’m so, so sorry,’ he blurts. ‘I’ve never behaved like that in my life. I’m so ashamed. I’m so, so ashamed of the way I acted. I can’t believe I put you through that. Please. I beg you. Forgive me.’

His eyes are wild and desperate. His breathing is raspy, and judging by the alcoholic fumes, he’s at least 700% proof. He steadies himself by grabbing onto the back of my chair.

I shift away from him to stare out of the window.

He stands silently beside me for another minute or two before sighing heavily and walking back down the aisle to his seat.

We will never recover from this. I’m certain of that.

When the coach pulls up at The Glasshouse, I see Ged and Liam waving at me from the path. Relief floods through me at the sight of them, causing me to instantly burst into tears. All the anxiety of the last few days manifests as big fat teardrops. They stop waving as confusion clouds their faces.

They rush to meet me as I come down the steps.

‘Dear God. You were crying when you got on. Have you been crying this whole time?’ Liam asks, taking my handbag from me while Ged smothers me in a hug.

A tiny burst of laughter escapes my lips.

‘I admit this does look bad,’ I tell them, sniffing up my tears.

‘We don’t care, hun. As long as you’re okay.’ Ged keeps his arm wrapped round my shoulder and guides me away to one side to sit down at the nearby bench. ‘How are you? What can we do?’

I wipe my cheeks, instantly cheering now that I’m back home and in the safe and reassuring company of my dearestfriends. ‘I’m just relieved to be back. I’ll tell you all about it when we get… ‘

I’m interrupted by Luke clearing his throat. ‘I can explain.’ He is standing over us with a pleading expression on his face. I immediately stiffen and grab tightly onto Ged’s arm.

Like lightning, Ged springs up. ‘Don’t bother. You’ve done enough damage by the looks of things. Take your toxic masculinity elsewhere.’

The two men square up to one another. Luke is towering over Ged. Nostrils are flaring. Chests are puffing.

A few prickly seconds go by before Luke seems to deflate. He gives me one last mournful look and hangs his head, before walking back to the coach.

I watch him go.

‘Do not fall for it,’ warns Ged. ‘I can see right through him. It’s all an act,’ he says firmly.

Chapter 18

I decide, under the circumstances, and because I live so close to The Glasshouse, to go home with Ged and Liam, rather than stay in the hotel and risk bumping into Luke.

‘I’ve got a couple of hours before I have to go back for the sound check and set up,’ I explain as I stuff all of my costumes and cases into the car. ‘I might pop over to see Dad.’

‘Great idea,’ says Liam, giving Ged a suspicious look. ‘A lot has happened since you left.’

‘What do you mean? I’ve only been away five days.’ It feels like a lifetime. ‘What’s happened to Dad?’ I immediately panic. When you are down to your last parent you feel overly protective towards them.

‘Oh, nothing major. Nothing to worry about. Probably best if you see it for yourself.’ Ged is biting his lips as though trying not to laugh.

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