Page 59 of Benidorm Again

I watch, over the next hour, as Liberty goes nuclear in her attempts to bag Luke at the club. The chorus girls try to put up a fight, but there’s no contest against a she-devil on a mission. Liberty is pulling out all the stops.

‘What is she playing at?’ asks Ged coming over to me. ‘I’ve been watching them for half an hour. She’s all over him.’

‘I know. I’ve warned her off him, but she’s not bothered that he is a self-centred moron.’

‘She’ll love that even more. Besides, it’s probably him who will come off worse in that fling. She’ll go mental when it all fizzles out.’

As though Luke was listening in, which would have been impossible over the music blaring out, his eyes find mine across a sweaty, heaving dancefloor full of writhing bodies.

Ged misses nothing. ‘He’s clearly only flirting with her to make you jealous.’

‘He totally is. I’m even starting to feel sorry for him.’

Ged gives me a stern look. ‘Are you?’

‘If I didn’t hate him so much I would.’

He strokes his chin and squints at me. ‘There’s a very fine line between love and hate.’ He’s been overdoing it on the Tequila Rose shots, and they have given him a false sense of emotional intelligence. ‘This thing between you is clearly still unresolved.’

Whereas the shots have given me a sharp sense of sarcastic wit. ‘I didn’t realise you’d picked up a PhD in Psychotherapy while you were at the bar.’ I put my hand on my hip to emphasise my point. ‘Do keep explaining to me how I feel.’

‘You’re obviously torn between the two love interests. I’m not sure you’re being entirely honest with yourself about your true feelings.’

I huff ready to disagree, but he continues loudly, bellowing over the music. ‘It’s about making the right choices when it comes to love. You should ask yourself whether you’re ready to truly love with authenticity and passion.’

‘Should I really,professor?’I’m a child.

I can see Ged’s perfectly shaped eyebrows rise slightly. ‘Can you be brave? Can you be vulnerable with someone? Can you be honest and open? Can you forgive?’

This is a ridiculous rhetorical question, and not one that I’m sure I know the answer to.

‘Because in my humble opinion,’ Ged swings his gaze back to Luke, watching as his backside sways back and forth. ‘You’ve been neither with either of these… these incredibly hot love boats.’

‘Wow. I did not expect such a detailed and free therapy session.’ I down my shot. I am miffed. Ged is giving me the hump. He is saying things that I do not want to hear. ‘I thought you were on my side. I thought you hated Luke, too.’

‘Seriously? I impart a decade of romantic wisdom and that’s what I get back?’ says Ged, seeming almost exhausted by me.

He’s right. I’m hardly the poster girl for emotional literacy, but when it comes to Matteo, I haven’t been open or honest with him at all about what’s been going on. And if I’m really honest, I think the reason I won’t accept Luke’s apology is because I feel as much to blame. I was catching feelings for him early on, and I could see he was growingmore attracted to me. I should have put a stop to it earlier. I’m more angry at myself than him.

‘Sorry,’ I say, rubbing his arm. ‘I don’t know what’s going on with me. It’s been a very weird week. And yes, I hear what you are saying. Maybe, I was a little dazzled by Luke at first, but I’m sticking with Matteo. Even if he is a little too magnificent.’

Ged throws an arm around my shoulders to give me a hug.

‘What’s she playing at?’ says Liam as he approaches us with three Skanky Lady cocktails. He points to Liberty. ‘Have you sent her on a mission to ruin him, babes?’

‘No. She appears to have gone rogue,’ Ged answers for me.

‘Who’s gone rogue?’ says Big Sue, eyeing Liberty on the dancefloor from her great height. ‘That’s hardly “hoes before bros”, is it?’ She shakes her head.

‘We do always say no double dipping, like.’ Big Mand is screwing her eyes to get a better view. ‘Why has she got her leg up on his shoulder? It’s not time for the Strictly. It’s way too early for the Strictly.’

‘Who’s doing the Strictly?’ Tash says, looking a bit worse for wear.

‘Liberty is doing her Strictly move on Luke. Even though she knows he has a thing for Connie,’ explains Big Sue. ‘And they clearly have unfinished business.’

‘I’m all for her getting her flaps out, but she’s breaking the “sisters before misters” sacred code,’ Tash says. ‘She’s a bloody disgrace. Strictly is an end of night pulling move, and that girl knows exactly what’s she’s doing.’

We watch Luke slide his hand the full length of Liberty’s leg, right down to her rock-solid tiny bum. He pulls her in close so that she is doing a perfect vertical split against him. His eyes are popping out of his head as she slides her leg slowly down so that he can place his hand under her knee. They are grinding their groins together as Liberty expertly bends over backwards to expose most of her chest and neck, her long hair sweeping down to the floor.

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