Page 68 of Benidorm Again

‘And for my recovery and well-being,’ says Liberty.

This is news to us. We all regard her suspiciously.

‘The whole Luke thing has thrown me,’ she says. ‘None of you have shown me any support, and it’s affected my mental health. I might have residual generalised anxiety disorder.’

‘Oh, get over yourself, Libs. You didn’t even shag him. You barely had one dance with him,’ says Tash sharply.

‘You’re forgetting I am a therapist,’says Liberty. ‘I have a PhD in Psychology. Don’t try to explain my own feelings to me.’

‘You have a degree in Mood Management,’ Tash reminds her. ‘It’s not the same thing.’

This appears to be the touch paper to igniting The Dollz as they erupt in a blaze of bickering.

‘This is about Las Vegas,’ Big Sue booms. ‘Stay on topic.’

‘Yes. It’s about our pre-moon,’ agrees Ged.

‘And Sister Kev’s surprise unplanned pregnancy nightmare, don’t forget,’ says Liberty cattily. ‘We’ll all need to pick up the pieces when the baby bomb goes off.’

Oh, my God.We’ve come full circle.

‘Listen. Can everyone stop hijacking my romantic break, please?’ I shout. ‘If you remember. This whole bloody trip is about me and Matteo!’

It does not go down very well.

‘Cherry, why are you so quiet?’ booms Big Mand. ‘You’re usually the first to have an opinion, pet.’

Cherry’s eyes widen with alarm, but before she can explain, Nacho appears.

‘Hola, chicas,’ he treats us all to his film star smile. ‘I think they are calling for you.’ He points to the stage where Jolly Murs is trying to welcome The Dollz on stage. One swift glance around informs me thatthe entire audience is listening in to our squabble. All eyes on us.

Jolly Murs confirms my suspicions. ‘Ladies, as interesting as this all is, I mean I’m desperate to know what Matteo could have meant as much as the next man, but if you can just stop arguing for two minutes,’ he says. ‘We’d all like to hear some more singing.’

The crowd cheer.

‘Christ Almighty,’ yells Big Sue as though she’s only just noticed we are surrounded by paying customers, and there’s a job to do. She is army-trained, in a loose sense (she spends a lot of time wearing cargo pants) and, therefore, meticulous about timekeeping. ‘Showtime!’

As The Dollz flick their internal switches to perform mode, I just have time to see Nacho give Cherry a shy smile. Her lip quivers in response, but instead of swooning like she usually does, she bursts into tears again.

Nacho, clearly horrified, reaches out to comfort her. She pushes him away and runs over to the stage. Liberty then throws up her arms in exasperation and yells, ‘I don’t fucking believe this!’ and gives Nacho an angry look before stomping away.

He spins round to face me with a bewildered expression.

I shrug. Ihave no idea what is going on with either of them. Last time we were here, they wanted to know the ins and outs of how big his cock was, along with the rest of us, I mean them, the rest of them. Poor Cherry. How is she going to get through this show?

Then Cherry astounds us even more by leaping onto stage, not a tear in sight, as though she is in a big Vegas hotel doing her two-hundredth back-to-back show and, like a pro, yells, ‘One, two, one, two, three, four!’ and launches into the opening routine, the girls falling swiftly in behind her.

‘And we’re off,’ says Ged, settling back down into his seat. ‘Nacho, care to join us?’

‘We’re one big happy dysfunctional family at the moment,’ Liam tells him, pulling him down to sit between them. ‘You wouldn’t believe the drama. Did Connie tell you we are going to Las Vegas for our pre-wedding celebration?’

Nacho shakes his head as he takes a seat next to us. ‘No, she has not told me. You are not going to meet my brother?’

‘Yes,’ I say quickly. ‘Yes, I am. I just haven’t told him that…’ I make circles with my finger as I point to Ged and Liam and then The Dollz. ‘… that we’re all going.’

Nacho looks suitably mystified. As do we all.How have I not told Matteo? How?

‘But I will. As soon as he is finished in the studio. He’s locked in again.’ I deliberately avoid meeting Ged’s annoyed glare. ‘He is working with a very important client.’

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