Page 87 of Benidorm Again

No one dares say anything.

Nacho tilts his head to the side as though trying to figure something out. ‘But we did not do the sex. Did we?’

Liam inhales dramatically. ‘Ooh, harsh. He can’t even remember it.’

Cherry instantly bursts into tears. Nacho runs to her and flings his arms round her. ‘I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Please. Stop the crying. It will be okay. I promise. Everything will be okay.’

Cherry looks up at him hopefully. She seems tiny in his arms.

‘When? When did you sleep with him?’ Big Sue has taken charge of the investigation. She has put her own family troubles, her grievances with Ged and Liam, her disappointment with Big Mand aside, and has come to the aid of her distressed friend. I’m almost welling up watching her. If the world was crashing to an end, it’s Big Sue you’d want watching your back. She’s all woman. I’m in awe.

I step closer to Cherry and take her hand as Nacho steps away from her. He looks bewildered. He’s not ready for this, never mind taking on Cherry and her two feral babies and thinning husband. He’d never cope.

Nacho gives Big Sue a perplexed look. He too would like to know when this night of so-called passion, whichresulted in the forming of a new life, occurred. ‘After the music festival?’ he asks Cherry. ‘Is that when?’

Cherry tuts and pinches her nose, trying to retrieve specific details. ‘Whichever night you were wearing the pink glittery Stetson hat and sunglasses.’

‘That could have been any night,’ says Big Sue. ‘Think, Cherry, babes. Can you remember any other details? Were you in a bed? On the beach? Behind a bin? Where did the incident occur?’

This briefest of unmemorable incidents that neither can recall.

‘I remember you had a pink heart on your cheek…’ Cherry bites her lip, deep in thought. ‘No, not a heart. Lips. Big red lips. You were swinging my bra round and round, and you kept yelling, ‘Yeeha’ like a cowboy. I remember you pounding into me, pounding and pounding.’ She winces. ‘On and on. Pounding.’

That’s a lot of pounding.

It seems to be jogging her memory. ‘I remember thinking we were on a trampoline. I was being thrown around, up and down.’ She reaches a hand to her hair. ‘That’s right. I had my knickers on my head. Like a blindfold.’

It’s sounding verykinky.

Nacho looks vacant. He clearly has no recollection of this wild Olympic-style night. I sneak a glance over to Ged and Liam, who are standing motionless, riveted. I slide my gaze to Sister Kevin. He is finding this all highly amusing and is trying not to snigger out loud. I feel sorry for him. He will not be sniggering when Tash gets hold of him. That’s just about the worst thing she will have wanted to hear.

Oh my God.Poor Tash. If she really is pregnant then she will be crushed to think Sister Kevin doesn’t want the baby. She’ll have to think of something else to get him for his BIG birthday.

I don’t know what to do.

Stay with Cherry or rush to check on Tash?

We are interrupted by Liberty who has let out a screeching howl. We all watch as she is bent double wheezing to catch her breath. Her shoulders are shaking.

Oh God.Poor Liberty. Why must every man she has her eye on be whisked away from her quicker than she can blink. She must be distraught. She straightens up. Tears are streaming her cheeks. Her wails turn into sobs of laughter.

There’s a collective gasp.

‘It wasn’t you,’ she says to Cherry. She can barely talk for laughing. ‘It was me, you idiot. It was me he was pounding. You were asleep next to us. At least, I thought you were. Itied my thong over your eyes so you wouldn’t see us if you woke up.’

Cherry’s face falls. ‘But that would mean…’

Liberty chokes on her words. ‘Yep. Unlucky Cherry.’ She doubles over cackling with laughter, while Cherry looks at Nacho, bursts into tears and runs back into the kitchen.

Cherry lets out an anguished whine. Somehow, finding out that her thinning husband is the father of her child, after all, has proven more than deeply upsetting.

Chapter 31

This is a total nightmare. I cast my gaze around the pool area. Ged and Liam are looking baffled. Liam is still wearing my top but with short denim cut-offs because Sister Kevin is wearing his outfit. It’s very half Ken half Barbie. I will have to let that go for now. There are far more pressing issues. Such as Jorge is due any minute now to take us, and our many, many suitcases, to the airport. The flight is in less than three hours’ time and we need to get on the bus and on our way. I do a quick mental recap of the current status quo.

Big Sue is still standing where she was in the patio doorway, sweating buckets. She is not speaking to Ged and Liam nor Big Mand by the looks of things. Her big, fluffy white coat, black vest and gold medallion are making her look like gangster Ken.

Big Mand is not speaking to Ged and Liam. She keeps throwing them annoyed looks as though they are the root cause of all the upset. Which to be fair, they totally are.

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