Page 4 of Girls Just Want to Have Sun

I can feel a panic attack coming on. This is so far out of my comfort zone. Nancy may as well have asked me to charter a private jet and fly it to Taiwan blindfolded with one arm tied behind my back while singing ‘I Will Survive’ in Welsh.

‘It’s no good. I can’t do it.’ We all take a beat to stare at each other while I flounder for words, my mind awash with dread at the thought of going. ‘I can’t be that type of bubbly, joyful person they need me to be.’

And just like that, their faces collapse.

‘We know how difficult things have been since you lost your mum,’ Liam says, stepping in close. I hear the break in his voiceas he continues softly. ‘But, honey, sometimes it feels like we lost you too.’

‘You’ve become this numb husk muddling through life. Moping from day to day,’ says Ged, suddenly sounding like David Attenborough describing an endangered species, ‘without a shred of desire to make new friends or to fall in love.’ He pauses to sigh elaborately. ‘We just want to see you happy, Connie. Living your best life. Having the odd shag from time to time. You know, dust off some cobwebs once in a while instead of watching theBridgertonbuttocks scene every night.’

‘He’s right, babes.’

FFS.I’ll just add that to my growing pile of emotional and professional wounds, shall I? I mean, no one likes to hear the actual truth about themselves, and this is very close to the bone.

‘I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one of us watching horny aristocrats having sex in manicured gardens and on ornate staircases.’ I throw an accusing stare in Liam’s direction.

Liam shakes his head at me.

He’s right, I’m being petty.

‘And,’ Ged tells me firmly, ‘just because Benidorm has been voted the cheapest place in Europe for watered-down beer, blow jobs and designer knock-offs, and just because you’ve seen The Dollz on TikTok, dry-humping each other while wearing less than you’d wear to the beach, does not mean you should fall to pieces.’

‘You’re right. I’m sure I’ll be fine.’I must remain positive.‘Hopefully, the crowds will be small, the standards really low, and they’ll be too drunk to notice what I’m singing or what I’m wearing.’

Ged looks up from swiping with wide eyes.

‘Your stage costumes won’t be the biggest problem anyway,’ he announces. ‘It says here Ted Sheeran has over eight hundred thousand followers. He sells out every night of the week inBenidorm. It says he’s… the best tribute act since Adam Lambert joined Queen.’

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!

2

‘You’ll be fine,’ Liam says as we screech to a halt at Newcastle Airport drop-off at four thirty the next morning. He shoves me towards the terminal with my carry-on case as though he’s terrified I might change my mind. I may have kept them both awake with my loud and frequent panicking. The Dollz are standing at the entrance looking as though they’ve come straight from a burlesque nightclub in Paris. Liam flicks a worried glance at my Converse, my boring denim shorts and T-shirt, my long hair hanging in no particular style and my make-up-free face.

‘Don’t worry. A nice smile can go a long way,’ he says, patting me on the arm. ‘Just remember to give the audience whattheywant, not whatyouwant them to want, and try to put on a bit of a show.’

‘I’ll try my best.’ I hug him tightly. ‘I wish you were coming with me.’

His eyes fill as he peels me off him. ‘Just go and have a great time. That’s all we want for you.’ I watch him race off before our emotions get the better of us, tyres squealing. All I can do is hope for the best as I walk hesitantly towards my new support band. My heart is thumping triple time.

‘Hi, I’m Connie,’ I say cheerily to hide my nerves. All five Dollz swivel round. ‘Connie Cooper. I’m the new Jezebel Music headline act for next week.’

I am met with blank stares until a woman with fabulous over-here-look-at-me, pillar-box-red hair gasps.

‘Headline?You’rethe new headline act? You mean you’re going to replace Ted Sheeran? On The Strip?’

I nod. They all stare back, aghast.

‘Poor you. No one’s as good as him.’

‘Not even the real Ed Sheeran.’

‘Christ, his regulars will be so disappointed, won’t they, Tash?’

Tash, the Dollz’ lead singer, nods gravely. ‘Yes, they’ll be fucking furious. And they’ll hate it if you don’t doallof his hits.’

Shitting hell.

While we make our way up the escalator to departures, the girls bicker over whose idea it was to save money by only bringing carry-on luggage. Apparently, it was Cherry’s idea, so she is keen to divert attention.

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