Page 50 of Girls Just Want to Have Sun

While the Dollz discuss my inadequacies at great length, I fight the sinking feeling that Alex is surely more Matteo’s type. She’s sophisticated and well groomed and successful.

‘I say we finish these cocktails and take Connie shopping,’ says Big Mand.

‘She needs to find her own style,’ agrees Tash. ‘And I know just what that should be.’

‘And maybe some leg tattoos,’ says Big Sue.

‘And definitely some sex appeal,’ says Cherry. ‘We should teach her how to move her body properly. She’s all legs and no rhythm. Like a drunk on stilts.’

The Dollz discuss the pressing issue of what I should wear to the festival tomorrow and the shortfalls of my ability to lure men.

‘What time are we meeting the nuns?’ interrupts Liberty, glancing at the time. ‘They’ve really made the holiday – I mean, work trip – haven’t they?’

Tash rolls her eyes and accuses Liberty of being unable to take two steps outside the villa without getting fingered by one of the nuns.

Liberty goes a bit red. ‘I have experienced an unusually high amount of fingers up there this week compared to normal.’

Delightful and charming.

‘Come on then, let’s get Connie sorted out with some decent clothes.’

‘Yes, that a woman of her age would wear.’

‘I’m only twenty-seven,’ I protest.

They raise their eyebrows as if to make a point.

‘A woman who cares about how she looks.’

‘A woman who has regular and satisfying orgasms. Men can’t tell but women can. It’ll give you the glow that you currently lack.’

I blink rapidly. ‘Or how about clothes that sayI’m classically trained, come with me on a spiritual journey?’ I say in a feeble attempt to regain the upper hand.

Cherry glowers at me. ‘That’s the musical equivalent of cock-blocking, pet.’

‘Connie, love, if you want us to transform you into a sex kitten then you’ll have to loosen up,’ insists Liberty impatiently. ‘You want Matteo to find you sexy and exciting, don’t you? And you want to bring some sparkle to your performance, don’t you? Well, the two things are intrinsically linked.’ She points a manicured nail at me. ‘Butyouhave to findyousexy and exciting first.’

I nod warily. I mean, that is definitely true and it does seem like the next natural step in my bid to stray out of my sexual comfort zone. ‘But Alex has warned me off him, and to be honest, after last night, I should really just back off and leave him alone. I’ll be gone in a few days.’

They look at me aghast.

‘A few days is a few days,’ bellows Big Sue as we troop off through the cobbled streets of the Old Town. ‘Anything could happen. You could fall in love tomorrow, pluck up the courageto act on it and elope the day after that. Who are we to deny our fate?’

We all stop to stare at her.

‘She’s right,’ Big Mand says, turning the colour of tomato soup.

‘Yes,’ says Tash. ‘Anything could happen. Connie, you need to be more optimistic, honey.’

All this loud bickering and braying is making me nervous. We are dangerously near the Jezebel Music offices as we coast by the main shopping lane and its window displays showing all the latest fashions from Zara, Mango and several Spanish boutique shops with lovely colourful prints and clothes that swish.

‘No. No. No,’ mutters Cherry as we pass by. I scurry along, keeping my head down as we pass Matteo’s office and duck down an alleyway. Along we go until she yells, ‘Here we are.’

I take in the neon sign swinging above the door and instinctively step backwards.

‘No way,’ I say as they crowd in.

‘We’re telling you, Connie. This is where to buy all your stage costumes. It’s where we get ours. Stop being such a prude.’

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