Page 61 of Girls Just Want to Have Sun

‘The way you got back to the jet ski and lifted us to safety,’ I say, throwing the spotlight back on him. ‘Totally awesome. Unbelievable upper-body strength. Incredible. You’re the one who’s fearless.’

I sound like I’m about to give him marks out of ten. I force myself not to stare at his body glistening in the sun, his shorts clinging to his muscular legs. His biceps are bulging like small watermelons, and his wet hair is dripping down his tanned face. He’s simply heroic-looking. There’s no other way to put it.

‘I mean it. You are very brave,’ Matteo says.

‘No. No, I’m really not. I swim to build up lung capacity, you know? To hold the notes,’ I say quickly. This whole episode has my nerves on end. He cocks his head to one side. He’s giving no indication as to warrant further explanation, but I just can’t seem to play it cool. ‘Take the soprano octaves. They can be especially tricky. It took years of practice, but I can now hold my breath for nearly five minutes.’

It seems like Matteo doesn’t know what to do with this piece of trivia in the midst of all this high-level drama.

‘Are you feeling okay?’ he says, stepping towards me.

My jabbering on, repeating his words back at him, seems to instantly defuse the tension and I see the admiration quickly replaced with worry.

No, I am not okay. I think I may be in some state of shock.

‘We should celebrate or something,’ I say, managing to make it sound inappropriate, like we’ve won first prize in a hot-dog-eating contest rather than having just saved a child’s life.

Yes, definitely a mild form of PTSD.

Matteo nods his head. ‘Maybe we should return the jet ski first and discuss partying later?’

When we eventually make it back to the marina, Nacho and his friends are nowhere to be seen. Matteo climbs off the jet ski, turning to help me clamber off. We lock eyes for a moment as he lowers me into the shallow water so that we can walk up the ramp. I feel his hand at my back keeping me steady. We have undergone yet another unique life-changing experience which binds us. Maybe these coincidences are more meaningful than we care to admit. When he says nothing, it strikes me that perhaps we no longer need actual words to discuss the enormity of our bravery. We can simply appreciate one another’s greatness with silence and hidden looks.

‘See you later?’ I eventually say to Matteo as casually as I can. I feel my skin burning at the effort to remain outwardly calm.

‘Sure,’ he says, gently pressing the back of his hand to the stiletto-shaped cut on his head. ‘I’ll wear a full suit of armour just in case. Do you need a lift?’

‘Thanks, but I’ll walk. I think I need to decompress.’ I’m suddenly overwhelmed with exhaustion as I unbuckle my life jacket and head to the kiosk to get my things.

The kiosk is empty, so I spot my bag on a shelf almost immediately. I’m just about to reach down for it when quite out of the blue, the air leaves my lungs like a punch to the stomach. I feel my legs turn to jelly and a great swell of fear grabs hold of me at the enormity of what just happened. I lean against the shelf. My mind has suddenly become filled with terror at how easily a life can be snuffed out. In a split second, that tiny child could have been dragged under the boat and out to sea on a riptide. What if I hadn’t been there to spot her? What if we’d left the cave just a minute earlier and been back in the marina with the others? What if we’d never heard Cherry fall overboard?

Suddenly, my body trembles at the fragility of life. The terrified look in the child’s eyes takes me back to when my mother was sick. Her eyes were permanently haunted. I could never make that look go away no matter how much I assured her she would get better. I press a fist to my mouth to stop any sound escaping and hunch down to wait until this awful feeling passes. My body is wracked by silent sobs.

A noise startles me. Matteo is filling the doorway. He reaches me in three strides and his face softens instantly as he crouches down and pulls me to him. His hand smooths my hair, and the other gently strokes my back until my silent heaving settles. He cradles me in his arms until I’m ready to stand up. He says nothing as he leads me away from the kiosk and over to his lady scooter parked by the marina and takes me home. We are both exhausted. He helps me off the moped when we get to the villa and holds me close.

‘Sure you’re up to performing later?’ he says, his face full of understanding and compassion.

‘Nancy will kill me if I mess this up. I’m fine now. I think I just needed to get the shock out of my system.’

‘Totally understandable. That was a big deal. I feel shaken myself.’ Matteo exhales slowly. ‘Life can turn on a dime, as they say.’

‘She could have died. We could have died.’

Matteo reaches out to take my fingers lightly in his and we share a moment that feels so tender, so loaded with understanding. When he pulls me in for a hug, I can almost feel him transferring some sort of strength to me. After a long while, he steps back.

‘I’ll handle Nancy if you need to duck out. I’m sure she’ll understand.’

Well, he could try. Nancy has been in the business for thirty years. She is a tough nut to crack. And besides, she’s had quite enough of my ‘woe is me’-ing.

‘Wait. Is that why you were on my flight? You’d been in Newcastle to meet with Nancy?’

He nods. ‘And seeing some potential acts. I could try to find a replacement for you. You look like you need to rest.’

‘Thanks, but I’m fine. I need to do it, and I promise there’ll be no more drama,’ I say to reassure him. ‘We’ll be on our best behaviour. Totally professional.’

I see the corner of his mouth raise into a smile. He doesn’t believe me in the slightest. Overwhelming desire and adoration for how sensitive he’s being ooze from my every pore as I wait for him to kiss me. It feels like a kissing moment. The situation calls for one of those high-intensity, emotionally charged kisses that set your soul on fire.

My eyelids flutter to an attractive close as I wait.

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