Page 68 of Girls Just Want to Have Sun

I erupt into giggles. ‘So, the thought of me stripping for you was repulsive? I’m not surprised. I mean, you did tell me that you are not,’ I bellow, ‘I repeat,notsexually attracted to me.’

‘I lied.’

Holy feck.

‘But you said, “take care then” to me.’

‘Take care then?’

He’s a man so he won’t get it.

‘Yes. “Take care then”. So, I thought… Well, it doesn’t matter what I thought.’

Suddenly, the temperature behind the curtain has increased, and we are staring at each other while a sexual current fills the air. I am desperate to drill down into exactly how much he thinks he might fancy me.

‘Firstly, you were in bits after the jet ski incident and saving that little girl. I genuinely meant “take care”. I wouldn’t have taken advantage of a situation like that.’

I am inwardly swooning.

‘And secondly, you don’t need to act like the Dollz to impress people. Just go out there and be yourself. Don’t try to sound likethe people you’re covering. Find your own voice. Do it your own way.’

Could he be any more like Oprah?I’m finding his thoughtfulness an incredible aphrodisiac and comforting at the same time, like someone’s sexy grandpa, but a lot younger and hotter. ‘And the “it’s complicated” situation?’

‘Dealt with.’

‘Sure?’ I’d never steal another woman’s man. Never. Not even one this ridiculously gorgeous.

‘Yes.’

We lock eyes, and for want of something to do that won’t involve me trying to dry-hump him, I lift my shackled arm over my head so that his arm is wrapped around me. I am now facing away from him so that he can’t see me making cow eyes at him.

As though in a miraculous dream, I spend the next fifteen minutes watching the Dollz while slowly moving as close to Matteo as I dare. I press my back up against his impressively firm abs and nearly die when I feel the weight of his hands gently rest on my hips. I am acutely aware of every single little movement. The dazzle of the lights, the energy of the crowd, the passion of the Dollz – who are absorbed in the moment, flinging themselves around the stage, owning it like the strong, talented artists they are – it’s all happening right in front of me. It has a dizzying effect. It’s intoxicating. Something inside me is stirring. For years, my smiles have been empty but at this moment, I could burst. I turn round to beam up at Matteo.

‘You’re really enjoying this.’

It’s like he can see through me, like he knows I’m used to faking it.

‘It’s amazing. It’s just exhilarating. I can’t believe I’m going on stage dressed like this!’ I say loudly into his ear. ‘It’s the exact opposite of what I’m used to. There’s no way you get this sort of buzz from a club or a classical audience.’

Our faces are but an inch apart. In that moment, I lose track of my mind, forgetting where we are. I reach up on my tiptoes and kiss him lightly on the lips. It’s an enchanting, barely-there type of encounter. Rather like the magical lip hover. I flutter my eyelids open in a sexy manner to find he looks rattled. He quickly casts an eye around the vicinity. The moment dies instantly, and my feeling of passion turns to mortification.

‘I thought… I mean, after the other day and the whole soul baring… I assumed. I thought we were having a, you know… a moment.’ I step as far away from him as the handcuffs will allow and slap on a bright smile. ‘Please forget I just did that.’

‘No. It’s fine. It’s just…’ He rakes his free hand through his hair. ‘I’m kind of at work?’ He lifts my downcast face up to meet his. ‘I didn’t mean to offend you. You’re not upset, are you?’

Does a bear shit in the woods?to quote Tash.Yes, of course you have, I want to say.You were supposed to kiss me back and you didn’t!And now I’m humiliated and can never again face him for as long as I live. Although, it’s crucial that I sound less like a fourteen-year-old drama queen and much more of a sophisticated woman of the world.

‘Yes. No, of course not. Not really. No. Well, yes. A bit, yes.’

He nods his head in understanding and leans in to press his lips to my ears. ‘Just to be very clear. I absolutely do want to fucking kiss you. Just not here, in front of my whole team.’

Oh my.

Matteo indicates the crew working the giant mixing desks. He nods to the stagehands on either side, pulling at cables, moving huge speakers, busying themselves with lighting rigs and band equipment. They all wave back to him, making sure to look at me, then him, then down at the handcuffs, then back to him with sly, knowing grins. They are all wearing Jezebel Music T-shirts.

Shitting hell.

‘We have over sixty acts on over the four days. Things are pretty busy round here.’

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