Page 70 of Girls Just Want to Have Sun

‘Well, let’s see what it is, shall we?’

The crowd roars its approval.

Bloody hell.

‘Let’s not,’ I say into the microphone, clearing my throat and trying not to fall apart.

But Matteo is nodding his head. He has wild, pretend-serial-killer eyes. He’s not going to take no for an answer.

I open my mouth to sing, but no words come out. I think I’m going to have a panic attack. There’s no way I can sing my own song on stage to actual people. It was meant for me and me only.

He must be able to see the fear etched on my face, so he leans into the microphone. ‘Sounds nice. Come on, Connie. Let’s see what the real you sounds like.’

How can he be this comfortable on stage? How?

The Dollz are leaping about, yelling for me to do it. Matteo restarts the song.

‘Okay. But just to be clear,’ I say, as though I’ve reluctantly put my chart-topping solo career on hold to treat the crowd to an impromptu, stripped-back version of my next hit, ‘it’s absolutely not about you.’

It starts off quite melodic, and I’m almost cringing at the lyrics because they are clearly about a girl having a huge crushon a boy who simply does not find her attractive. He can’t see what’s in front of him. He can’t see how much she loves him.

I want the stage to swallow me up, but the crowd is being very polite and getting behind me. Matteo fiddles with the rig and out of nowhere some drums and a bass kick in to lift the chorus and give the song an edge that wasn’t there before. Now I have to belt it out to keep time. It really works and as I sing the last verse, unbelievably, the crowd join in the simple chorus with me. We sing it again. And again. And again until the fade.

It’s catchy.

It’s simple.

It’s totally and utterly all about Matteo.

23

‘That was the best experience of my entire life!’ I yell as we run off stage, panting.

‘Totally fucking mind-blowing!’ Matteo says, his face flushed with adrenaline. He is gripping my hand and wiping sweat off his face with the crook of his arm.

‘The connection. Did you feel it?’ I pant. ‘With the crowd?’

Matteo nods in a daze. ‘I’ve never done anything like that before.’

We are buzzing as the Dollz crowd round, ecstatic.

‘That was awesome, babes,’ shouts Tash. ‘Totally fucking awesome. We’ve already uploaded everything to our social media. You might wanna do the same, love.’

‘Christ, if you hit the big time, you berra take us with you, to America and that,’ says Cherry.

‘Of course. Of course.’ I’m still cringing about the song lyrics. The Dollz continue making a huge fuss.

‘It wasn’t about you,’ I tell Matteo earnestly for fear that, once the adrenaline wears off, he’ll think I’m a deluded crackpot. ‘It was about… someone else.’

‘Also called Matteo?’ he says in a sceptical tone. ‘Right, I won’t give it another thought. It’s fine. It’s cool. I believe you.’

He’ll not be winning a BAFTA any time soon.

‘Let’s get these things off, shall we?’ I say, changing the subject. My heart is beating like the clappers. ‘I could do with a drink or five.’

I turn to the Dollz.

‘Who has the key?’ asks Tash, brandishing her bottle of Prosecco.

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