Page 82 of Girls Just Want to Have Sun

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We arrive at The Knee Trembler to find it in full swing with many, many inebriated people spilling out onto the promenade. We pile in.

‘Whose round is it?’ booms Big Sue.

‘Mine, I’ll get them,’ I say, nervously ordering a round of Skanky Lady cocktails.

Even though I dread seeing Matteo, it would be much, much worse if I see him and make a total mess of the gig because I’m drunk. I will sip like a lady, pretending it’s cough medicine or something, and not throw the cocktail down my neck like I see the Dollz are currently doing, even though I’ve begged them not to and they have promised me faithfully.

‘Connie!’ Cherry roars a few seconds later. ‘Drink up. It’s my round. Same again?’

The Dollz are knocking men out of the way to clear a space for dancing when Tash yells, ‘I know what this place needs!’

She takes a huge gulp of her cocktails, one in each hand, before slamming them down on the table. She wipes her mouth with the back of her arm dramatically and then charges unsteadily on her massive heels over to the DJ with athreatening expression on her face. Moments later, the speakers bellow out ‘I Will Survive’.

‘I walked down the aisle to this tune!’ yells Cherry. I try not to look shocked. It’s certainly unconventional. ‘The aisle at Tesco’s!’

We all honk our heads off because Cherry has just told the funniest joke of all time.

Honk, honk, honk.

I’m surprised to find I am having a good time and fully manage not to think about Matteo for at least two more drinks and another round of honks. We get loads of man-attention, but we are simply not interested. We laugh, we drink, we honk… then suddenly I remember that my heart is catastrophically broken, and I yell how much Ihateall living men and send a bunch of them scattering away from us.

‘It’s time to go,’ barks Big Sue. ‘Soundcheck! Hoargghhhay is outside.’

‘What soundcheck?’ My mind has suddenly gone blank.

‘Thesoundcheck,’ she booms. ‘Come on, Dollz. Let’s go.’

Thankfully, the sun is setting, and the air is much cooler. I gather my inner strength. All this drinking isn’t helping me. Before we get on the bus, she gathers us in a group hug.

‘Once we arrive at Voices, Cherry, you run interference. Big Mand, you’re on surveillance ops with me. Liberty, you and Tash do a recce of the place,’ she commands, sounding like British special forces. ‘Don’t worry, that bastard is getting nowhere near you tonight, Connie, pet. Not on our watch.’

I have no idea how to feel about our new tactical manoeuvres, but apparently working as a team is key.

Once we pile out of the minibus, the Voices sign towers over the crowds bustling around. There are couples laughing, couples dancing, couples queuing to get into bars, couples hand in hand, couples kissing in the street.

Couples. Couples. Couples.

I feel overwhelmed with what a fool I’ve been. Just as I wonder if he would even dare to turn up tonight, Matteo stares right at me from the doorway. His face is unreadable. I can tell he’s tense just by the way he’s leaning against the door frame. My stomach lurches traitorously as he does that slow running-his-hand-through-his-hair thing.

Any minute now the Dollz will launch their covert whatever it was. He won’t know what hit him. In a way, it’s comforting to know they have my back.

Any minute now.

Any minute.

They’re probably wanting to use the element of surprise.

Matteo continues to study me.

A quick glance behind reveals my crack team of bodyguards are engaged in a mixture of activities: smoking tabs, deep in conversation with Jorge, posing for selfies with random men or jabbing at their phones. Every single one of them is oblivious to my plight.

They will be of no use to me. None whatsoever.

I march over to tell Matteo to his face how disappointed I am in him. He beats me to it and suddenly he is right in front of me. For a moment, his face is full of emotion, and we stand there glaring at each other. My heart is beating wildly enough for him to hear it. But before he can speak, the girls surround us, and Big Sue tells him to back the fuck off and leave me alone.

‘She’s dead high up in social care. She knows all about useless men,’ says Big Mand.

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