Page 86 of Girls Just Want to Have Sun

‘Firstly,’ says Liberty, turning over on the sunbed. ‘Those years you think you’ve wasted simply mean the ones ahead of you have tripled in value. You’ll make them count. You’ll get everything you can out of every minute.’

The words waft over me like a soothing breeze.

‘And secondly, what are you waiting for? No one is going to come along and tap you on the back. We are responsible for our own happiness and success. Don’t rely on anyone to make it happen for you. It’s too much pressure to put on someone else, isn’t it?’

‘You’re right. That’s so true.’ It’s like a penny dropping. ‘I think I have been waiting for someone to give me permission to finally live my life. I guess I’m ready to give myself that permission. To start a new chapter.’

I must speak urgently to my therapists about my monumental shift in mindset. I ring Ged, but his phone is off. Likewise, Liam’s.

‘Has anyone got any Greek yoghurt? I’ve burnt my shoulders. And my lips,’ croaks Cherry from the patio door. ‘It must be from when I fell asleep on the sunbed yesterday.’

‘Cherry! What have you done? That was the extra virgin olive oil, wasn’t it?’ yells Big Sue from the pool.

We all see Cherry stumbling towards us, her hair fried, shoulders blistered, her nose and lips peeling and her face red and swollen. ‘And I’ve got the squits. I’ve been on the toilet for the last four hours. I’ve lost six pounds already, which is good, but I really don’t feel well.’

‘That’s nothing,’ says Big Mand, coming up behind her, holding her arm. ‘I can’t feel my arm. It’s gone completely numb and it’s blue. I think it’s going to fall off.’

‘Stop panicking!’ shouts Tash, hobbling painfully out of the patio door to stand next to them. ‘We’ll drink through it for tonight. It’s the last gig then we can all see a doctor when we get –Argh!’

Tash looks down at her foot.

‘Christ Almighty. When did that happen?’

Tash’s ankle is now the size and colour of a pumpkin. I leap up and race back to the cottage yelling, ‘Wait there! I’m calling a doctor.’

I grab the card that Doctor Sanchez left me on the kitchen bench. I fleetingly remember Matteo and how tender he was that evening, his kind eyes as he listened to all my woes. I hurriedly ring the number and return to the pool.

‘It’s okay,’ I say. ‘He’s coming straight round.’

Half an hour later, we gather in the kitchen to listen out for the doctor. Liberty and Big Sue look worried. Nancy rang Big Sue in the middle of the panicking as though she was watching us on CCTV. It was a very short call involving screaming at both ends until Cherry fainted with a splash into the pool.

I do feel the universe is trying to tell her something.

‘At least we managed to get them back to bed. I doubt they’ll be able to perform tonight,’ says Big Sue, looking downcast as we plonk onto the stools to wait. ‘Nancy is going to kill us. That was our last warning. Alex must have rung her and told her we turned up pissed, even though we were all brilliant.’

‘Mine too,’ I say. ‘This whole trip was my last chance to impress her, or I’m out the door. No more singing jobs. No career to fall back on. No nothing. Maybe I should stay here and sing at Voices. I mean, what have I got to lose? But then, it’s such a huge step…’

Just as I’m flapping my hands philosophically about, the doctor rings to say he’s at the gate. I race through to find not only Doctor Sanchez, but also Jorge screeching up in his minibus and the doors flinging open to reveal Ged and Liam bounding off the bus towards me.

‘We’re here now. Don’t panic! We’ll get through this together!’ Ged is yelling dramatically.

‘Poor Connie! Poor, poor Connie!’ Liam is bawling as he scoops me into a huge hug. Doctor Sanchez, Big Sue and Liberty watch as Ged and Liam fuss over me.

‘You’ve called the doctor?’ gasps Ged, spotting Doctor Sanchez. ‘Things must be really bad. What do you need? Sedatives? Prozac? Uppers? Downers? Tell us, Connie.Tell us!’

It takes me a few moments to understand what’s going on as I explain in Spanish that my newly arrived hypochondriacs think I’m heartbroken, but the real patients are upstairs. Doctor Sanchez smiles at me while the Dollz make a huge fuss of our new guests. I take the doctor upstairs and stay with him while he quickly assesses the three patients, writes them prescriptions and gives me instructions on what to do for the sunburn, heatstroke, the arm and the ankle. When I come back down, the remaining two Dollz have Ged and Liam sipping cocktails at thekitchen table, discussing me and my recent failure at bagging a man.

‘So, you’re saying that Matteo wasn’t actually getting married?’ Liam asks Liberty in an incredulous tone. ‘And there was no big drama after all?’

‘But then Connie told everyone she was married to him, when she isn’t, whichcreatedanewdrama but this time involving Alex?’ Ged is repeating what Big Sue is telling him.

‘Then she saw Matteo and Alex making out, which then created abona fidedrama?’ Liam is saying in a mystified voice. ‘And the wedding is back on, we think?’

There’s a bit of unnecessary tittle-tattle from Liberty. ‘I think things began to sour after she kicked him in the face while pole dancing on The Strip.’

‘And what’s this about David Guetta? A fire? Jet-skiing? The black eye? A sex shop?’ Liam says as though seeing me for the first time. He breaks into a huge grin.

When put like that, I guess I am made of sterner stuff than I gave myself credit for. ‘I’m fine. I’m sure I’ll cope somehow.’

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