Page 20 of Park Avenue Princess

I can’t even answer or look at him, I’m so embarrassed. I’ve never experienced these feelings and I have no idea how to deal with the situation. I just lie here, raw and vulnerable, and feeling so damned lost.

“Addy,” he tries again and I literally want to screamI’m Lynne!

“Give me a minute, let me get rid of this condom and get you a towel.”

He rolls off the bed and makes his way into the bathroom. Panic and fear consume me. I see my opportunity and take it. Like a coward. I spring up from the bed and pull on my summer dress, not even bothering with my undergarments. Just as I locate my bag, he’s walking out of the bathroom with a towel and wet washcloth in his hands. He stops short when he sees what I’m doing, and a look of shocked hurt fills his face.

“Wh-where are you going? Are youleaving?”

“I… I’m so sorry, Guy, I, I can’t…” I don’t even know what I’m confessing to not being able to do. He takes a step toward me and I yell. “No! Please, don’t. I have to go.” I turn for the door intending to flee.

“Addy, don’t go. Please. Talk to me.”

“I never wanted to hurt you. I never meant to fall.” My words taper off until they’re barely audible, leaving what I most want to say, unsaid.I never meant to fall in love with you.

His next words shatter my already cracked heart.

“I love you.Please,” he begs. “Please stay.”

“I can’t.” I sob as I race to the door and sprint into the hallway. Guy yells after me, but without clothes surely he won’t step out of the room. I don’t bother with the elevator, instead, hurry toward the stairwell. Just as I push open the door, I hear him yell for me once again. Another sob wracks my body but I press on, running down the stairs, trying to not trip and kill myself in the process.

Once I make it to the ground floor, I rush outside, snagging the first available cab. I’m almost positive Guy will dress and rush over to my hotel, so I need to get there first and vacate pronto.

Mere moments later I’m inside my room, throwing items into my backpack, thankful for the decision to travel light. As I’m gathering essentials, I spot the sand dollar bracelet on the dresser, the one Guy insisted on buying for me. He said I needed several inked on my skin when I expand my tattoo, but until then, he wanted me to have the bracelet to remember our time together.

As if I’d ever forget.

I cry harder, blurring my vision. Then I’m angry for letting myself get so emotionally invested. I set the rules, yet here I am, nearly breaking them. This wasn’t supposed to amount to anything beyond the here and now.

“Foolish, silly dreams,” I mumble to myself, the self-pity threatening to swamp me.

Stop it, Lynne!

I straighten my spine and gather the last of my meager possessions, leaving the room card on the dresser. I’ll head to the airport and see if I can arrange for an earlier flight. On the way, I’ll phone the hotel desk and inform them of my early checkout. I don’t even care about paying for an extra night I won’t be staying.

Entering the elevator, I push the button for the second floor, daring not to exit into the lobby, should I find Guy there. I make my way into the stairwell and it takes me to a corridor off the main hallway. I find another exit and walk away from the hotel. Just as I step onto the sidewalk, I notice Guy rushing into the entrance, unaware of my presence outside. I turn in the opposite direction and hurry toward another cab.

“Airport, please,” I say as I sink into the seat. I close my eyes, willing myself not to look back. Once again I choke back a sob, trying to hold it together. Trying to put the past several days behind me and focus on moving forward.

I’ll lock the memories away in a part of my soul no one will ever be able to touch again.

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