Page 37 of White Collar Rancher

And Priya had never told anyone about how insignificant she felt in her own family. Not even Maisy. Justin was right. Whenever she’d broached a personal issue, Maisy had rolled her eyes and said, “Fuck them.” The cavalier response had validated her feelings, regardless.

What did she owe Maisy? Would the truth hurt or help?

If she lied, she might lose his trust, but what Maisy had told her had been in the confidence of her office. Yet, Maisy was gone, and he should know the truth.

But as she met Justin’s gaze, the truth retreated from her lips. His stony blue gaze sent her pulse rate higher. He’d gone from betrayed heartbreak to cold as ice.

“I…don’t think so.” She pushed the stray locks of her hair out of her eyes with the back of her hand. Maisy had tampered with the truth of the situation, so not technically a lie. No. It was a lie. “Do you have reason to suspect she did?”

“Yeah. Just because that’s the way she was.” He shifted his gaze out the door to where Isaiah had gone quiet in his bouncy chair. “I love my son. I don’t wish for him not to have happened, but it would suck if the decision had been taken from me.”

She used the side of the tub to stand up, wanting to fold herself into him. To chase away the trouble in his gaze. His body was stiff and his expression distant. Did he know she was lying? “I keep telling myself she would’ve gotten help after he was born.”

Justin’s dubious gaze returned to her. “She was stubborn. Her ear had to be killing her.” She winced at his choice of words. Her infection had killed her. “I can’t believe she didn’t go in. Simple antibiotics.”

Priya nodded. He needed to talk about Maisy and what had happened, but at the same time, there wasn’t much to say.

“You know, in high school, she came on to me. I think that’s why I stayed with her. She made it easy.”

He laughed at her expression. The tense air between them evaporated. “Sorry. That was the last thing I expected you to say.”

“Nah.” His humor faded. “She made life a lot harder as an adult. But as a teenager, she set the pace and I was along for the ride. If she got mad and broke up with me, then I hung out with Caleb more. Dated other girls, which never failed to bring her back.”

“Like clockwork.” They’d go to a football game or pasture party, see another girl clinging to his side, and Maisy would lose her shit. “I think that’s why her tactics changed so dramatically when you moved back. Once you showed interest again, she thought it was finally time for you two to be together forever.”

He closed his eyes, leaning back on his hands against the counter. “I sometimes wonder… Was she panicking because I wouldn’t commit and she was having a baby and— Well, if she was super sick, I’d have to stick around to take care of her, right?” The muscles of his neck strained like he was trying not to say his next words. “Did she die because of me?”

“Justin, no.” She crossed to him, not caring if she smelled like citrus cleaner and rubber gloves. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she laid her head on his broad chest. He released his grip on the edge of the counter and wrapped his arms around her. “I know it’ll be hard, but you can’t blame yourself.”

Blame me. I failed Maisy.

The rumble of his voice vibrated against her cheek. “I’m so damn glad I get to raise Isaiah and not have to fight anyone to see him or worry about his safety. But I’m not glad she’s gone. Not like that, not at all. It’s… It’s a fucked-up place to be. How the hell do I explain that to Isaiah when he’s older?”

For the first and maybe only time, she was glad she’d lied. It’d be easier for Justin to heal. She leaned her head back to look at him. “By saying what feels right. Your family and Maisy’s family only want what’s best for him. We’ll follow your lead.” Her breath froze in her lungs. She’d naturally included herself in his group, and in Isaiah’s future.

He stared at her for a few moments. Her throat burned. She was holding her breath. Slowly, she sucked in new air.

“You’re right,” he finally said. A glow sparked to life inside of her. He hadn’t denied her role in his life, and for once she dared hope there could be more for them in the future. Until what he said next dumped a bucket of ice on that feeling. “But it’s the reason why I’m done with relationships. I gotta concentrate on what’s best for me and my son.”

Chapter 11

Justin bit back his curse when his passenger reached for the door handle without waiting for him. He threw the vehicle in park and killed the engine. “Gram. I’ll be right around.”

She was a wily one. With her walker, she could outpace any of her grandkids, all who towered over her. He got out and rushed over to her side. Gram clung to the door while he unfolded her walker.

Thanksgiving dinner was over, visiting was done, and evening approached. He’d gone to Travis’s house. Brigit and Caleb had picked up Grandma Agnes and he’d offered to bring her back to the nursing home.

“You’re such a dear, but it’s getting late.” She was already wheeling off before he’d unhooked the baby carrier from the base in the backseat. “But I sure do appreciate the ride. And the invite. This old lady doesn’t get out much.”

He grinned, walking behind her with the carrier hanging in one hand. Between him, his cousins, and his aunts and uncles, Gram probably had a more active social life than he did. “Anytime.”

He held the door open for her, planning to visit for a few minutes until she was settled. The nursing home was at least ten degrees warmer than he kept his house. In her room, Gram removed her thin jacket and hung it up in her closet. Her moves were precise, the slight shake in her hands not slowing her down.

“I sure enjoy being surrounded by kids again. Your little guy and Travis’s little boy are going to be thick as thieves. Just you wait.”

“I’ve got it coming, according to Mom and Dad.”

Gram pushed her walker into a corner and eased herself into her favorite chair. It was the same one he remembered her having as a kid. “Oh, what’s this?”

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