Page 52 of White Collar Rancher

When she turned to face him, she wished she could take her words back and stuff the box into a dark corner. His expression was carefully neutral, his gaze cautious.

“It’s Valentine’s Day.” Her explanation hung heavy between them. The box made the only sound in the room as she put it on the table next to him.

“Okay.” He carefully placed his fork next to his plate and leaned back. “But we’re just friends.”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. When we first started…being together—”

“Having sex. You’re a doctor, remember.”

Any nerves she had were wiped out by hurt, but she wasn’t backing down. She had a right to say how she felt, to express herself. The last few weeks, she’d worked on herself and her career. Continuing on with Justin, feeling the way she did about him, wasn’t fair to her. However this ended, it wouldn’t be with her selling herself short.

“When we first started having sex”—she held his gaze—“I was facing job insecurity and my own little personal identity crisis.”

“Really? See, I didn’t know that. Since you never talked to me about it when it was happening.”

“I wasn’t sure about what was going on at work until a few weeks ago. Then when I was here, I didn’t want to stew over how I was treated.” Maybe admitting that her career was tanking had felt a little too intimate for her. She shook her head and attempted to steer the conversation back to her goal. No matter how this turned out, he’d know how she felt. “All I’m saying is that I’m in a different place now. I’m ready for more.”

This conversation was really happening. Justin shoved a hand through his hair. He didn’t want to experience it now—or ever. What they had was good. It had been going well. But this morning as she was telling him she was ready for more, she was redesigning the cupboards—the whole kitchen.

She watched him. Her lips were flat, like the look in her eyes. No, her golden eyes weren’t emotionless. They swirled and heaved with repressed feelings. If he thought too hard about it, he’d recall they’d been that way forever. She always hid what she was really thinking.

“What do you want from me?” he finally asked.

“A real relationship.” She was so frustratingly calm, so centered when she’d just left him feeling as shaky as a newborn lamb.

She was ready for more. And happened to be ready to change the way he lived. No, thanks. Been there. Done that.

He wasn’t changing a damn thing. The house fit him the way it was. The way he was, and he didn’t fucking cook. “I told you that I’m not in it for a relationship.”

Hurt brimmed in the depths of her irises. “Can you really say that after the last few months? That we wouldn’t work as a couple?”

“The level of trustworthiness of the women in my life hasn’t made me think that couplehood is for me.”

She recoiled and gave him an incredulous stare. “What have I lied about?”

“Come on, Priya. You don’t talk to me about anything. You don’t talk to me about your family, or about the problems you have at work.”

“I recall us having several conversations about that.”

“You mention it. Skim the surface. Not once did you really confide in me. I found out from a nurse at Gram’s nursing home that you were alone on Thanksgiving. What’s that supposed to make me think? I told you my history with Gabrielle. You know what Maisy was like. Maybe you didn’t lie, but you weren’t open and honest.” Months of wanting her to share more about herself rose. His own hurt at being sidelined in her life lifted with it.

“How much would you have told me about Maisy if I hadn’t been her friend? As for your previous career and that other woman, you talked for less than five minutes about how many years of your life? And you think I don’t share about myself?”

“If you wanted to know more, then you could’ve asked.”

“I did. How many nights did we sit out there while you waved off my every attempt to open a conversation?” She tilted her head.

So many hours they’d spent over a glass of wine while apparently pondering how little they talked to each other about each other. “You mean like you did every time I tried to ask about work?”

Isaiah let out a happy squeal in his swing, oblivious to the tension radiating only feet away.

“I would think you of all people would understand my hesitation when it comes to sharing any part of my life. Maisy changed my entire life with one impulsive decision.”

Priya’s gaze lifted to where Isaiah was, as if talking about Maisy around her baby boy was inappropriate. And yeah, maybe it was. Justin would have to reconcile how he was going to talk about Isaiah’s mother around him with his feelings for the woman.

Priya had mentioned the discussion in his bathroom where he’d laid out his humiliation over Gabrielle. He recalled another part of that talk that continued to bug him. “And while we’re on the topic, tell me the truth. Was Isaiah really an accident?” The way her mouth gaped like a guppy caught on shore sent the most acute spike of betrayal into his heart. “You knew?”

“No.” She shook her head, but her gaze flew around the room. “Not until after you two— She wasn’t on the pill.”

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