Page 62 of White Collar Rancher

She chuckled, but her smile faded. “Why are you here, Justin?”

“To prove how sorry I am.” If only she’d tell him what he needed to do to make it right between them, to reignite the magic that still simmered, ready to boil. The only ingredient missing was her trust. Her trust that he wouldn’t hurt her, and that he’d always support her.

“Why? You were right. We were supposed to be friends and we didn’t open up to each other.” She paused to chew her lower lip, something he missed doing so badly. “And you were also right that I lied. Once you and I grew close, I should’ve told you what Maisy said. I should’ve trusted you enough to confide in you about that.”

“I thought a lot about that, and what you said about hiding behind the actions of the women in my past. Maisy put you in a tough situation. She used your job as a way to confess what she’d done without facing any consequences, hurting both of us.” It had taken him too long to see it.

“I’ve been talking to Katherine and Martin.”

He smiled. Katherine had been so relieved when she’d last spoken of Priya. “I heard. They adore you. Two of your biggest supporters, and everyone with a vagina Katherine runs across is going to get glowing recommendations about you. She singlehandedly dismantled any rumor mill regarding you and quality care.”

“I missed them.” A gentle crease formed in her brow and her eyes misted over. “Between us, we actually have a lot of decent memories under the hurt.”

“I’d like to think we’re like that.”

“Oh, Justin.” She sniffled. “I wanted more, and you didn’t. I’ve learned to be okay with it.”

“I’m not. I didn’t know what I wanted.” He wished he could make himself sound like a deal she couldn’t refuse. “Actually, I had what I wanted, and I was too scared to realize it. I took it out on you. I took everything out on you. You got me through the toughest time of my life. Not only did you get me through, you made me look forward to each day. I knew that as long as you were around, I would be okay, and my son would be okay.”

Her eyes glistened with moisture. “How is he?”

She missed Isaiah. How could he have been so oblivious? She’d rocked him to sleep. Fed him. Rejoiced when he hit all his milestones. Isaiah wasn’t just his kid. He was important to her. And she hadn’t gotten to see him for six weeks.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that not seeing him…” He pinched the bridge of his nose. Do better, Justin. Complete honesty between them. “She didn’t just use me. Gabrielle. She convinced me to change myself. I went from the kid you knew in high school to this guy.” Waving a hand down his body, he scowled. “I was avoiding my family because each time I came home, it reminded me that I’d always wanted to come home. I like Wrangler’s and Levi’s jeans. I prefer boots to loafers. Farming and ranching is in my blood and I don’t want to sanitize it.”

“And you thought I was doing that with my soap in the shower?” He couldn’t fault the blush of sarcasm in her voice. She’d been nothing like Gabrielle. Or Maisy.

“I was afraid because you could’ve. I would figure out any way possible to make you happy. As long as I get to sit by your side every night, clinking our glasses of wine together and talking about everything under the big blue sky.”

She blinked back the moisture in her eyes. “I think I proved I wasn’t farm wife material.”

“Because you’re a doctor. I’m not asking you to deliver lambs and treat hoof rot and help me with shots. I have business partners that I happen to be related to. I’m looking for a woman to spend my life with.” Not just any woman. Her.

“That’s a bold statement coming from you.”

“It’s the truth. And I’ll let you in on a little secret.”

She tilted her head. He had her hooked, but how would she react?

“It turns out, we were actually in a relationship.”

She didn’t lose her apprehension. “Yes. We even had a name for it.”

The benefits thing. She was so much more than a friend. “You had the courage to tell me when you wanted more, and I chickened out.”

“I chickened out, too.” She clutched her hands together. “I was jealous of Devya because she got all the attention. I’m almost thirty damn years old and I was as envious as a ten-year-old. And Mom and Dad? Gallivanting around the globe? I should’ve been happy for them, but I felt abandoned. They don’t tell you that you can feel like that as an adult.” She made a disgusted noise. “I felt sorry for myself and I was too ashamed to admit that to you.”

He knew her parents’ inattention had bothered her. “You’d been away for years, but when you came home, they kept living like you were gone.”

“Right? For good reason. They should travel while they’re still healthy enough to.” She rushed on, like he’d opened the gates to greener pastures. “I had no friends. They didn’t know that. I didn’t even realize that. I hid behind Maisy as much as she hid behind me. My job? I was losing all my patients, wondering what was wrong with me, but you were raising a son all by yourself and running a business. It seemed…insignificant.”

He drifted close enough to put his hands on her shoulders. “And Emmett made you feel insignificant, so you didn’t talk about him either. I understand that. I failed when I kept my walls up. I didn’t let you know how important you are to me. How important you are to my son. And how I want to know everything about you. I’m in love with you, Priya.”

Her eyes widened, the whites practically glowing. The way the lights danced in her irises only highlighted how stunning she was. “You can’t…” She shook her head. That’s right. She knew very well he wouldn’t say anything he didn’t mean. “Why now? What in the last month made you think that suddenly you’re not only ready for a real relationship, but for one with me?”

“Not having you around was a pretty good wake-up call. And how you didn’t try to contact me. You moved on.”

“I missed you,” she whispered.

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