Page 23 of Embers in the Outfield

I start to pull away, but his grip on my face holds me in place.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said I have to get back to the office,” I say, my voice just above a whisper.

“When can I see you?” I can see the sincerity in his expression. Gone is the River who throws sarcastic phrases my way. In his place is a man giving me a view of his softer side, something he’s reserved for so many but never me. It’s unnerving yet uplifting, all in one.

“If I said never, what would you say?” I throw back. I don’t seem to have the strength to leave this here and walk away. I need to hear him tell me this might be a bad idea. I need him to walk away because, for the first time in my life, I can’t simply let this lie.

“I would say I’ll see you tonight and show up at your doorstep then.” He smiles, his dimples making an appearance.

“Then I guess I’ll see you on my doorstep after nine tonight.” I use my fingers to pry his hands off my face and walk away. I see the Uber pull up that I had just ordered before River stopped me, and I walk toward it.

I look back and see a smile take over River’s face. I guess I’m just throwing caution to the wind and letting this thing go wherever it’s supposed to go. Maybe it’s time I toss the rules to the side and see what happens. Something casual is all I can give, but I doubt River wants something deeper anyway.

CHAPTER 9

River

“Ma, you home?”I walk into my childhood home with Lola, and I’m immediately pulled into comfort. Not much has changed with the layout of the house, something my mother takes complete pride in after years of people nagging her to move things around.

After my father passed away, there was a moment she thought she’d move us out and start a new life, keeping with the plans she and my dad had prior to his passing. But after many people around us told her to take a year and reflect on that after some time passed, she chose to stay put, knowing she could never really part with the last place my father called home.

I walk further into the house, Lola sniffing out where Grandma could be. I find my mom and brother sitting at the kitchen table.

“I didn’t know you were coming over here today,” I say, directing my comment to Clay as I walk toward my mother and wrap my arms around her.

She’s much shorter than us, as we tower over her much like my father once did. She looks up at me, and I can see the pride inher eyes. Before I know what’s happening, Lola is pawing at me to move so she can get her grandma cuddles in.

“Mom said she wanted to see her favorite child before you came over to ruin her afternoon,” Clay says before I flip him off.

“Hey now, both of you stop. You know I find you both equally a pain in my ass.” She chuckles and moves toward the coffee pot to grab a cup of coffee after giving my dog a few scratches under the chin.

My mother, despite years of pain after losing my father, never faltered in caring for us, even with a broken heart. I look at her now and see all the pain she carried on her shoulders for so long, bearing a lot of that pain for all three of us.

Once she’s greeted me, she turns her attention to the golden retriever watching her every move.

“And you, Lola, did you miss Grandma? I know, Daddy didn’t let you come stay with me. He made you stay with that neighbor of his.” My mother is speaking to my dog like she’s a baby, but her eyes dart over to me narrowed as if she’s holding a grudge.

“Come on, don’t do that. It was easier to leave her with the neighbor with the way I was coming and going to the firehouse. No hard feelings.” I give her my sad eyes, and that makes her laugh.

Attempting to veer this conversation in another direction, I switch gears. “Ma, you were missed at the wedding,” I say as I grab the hot mug out of her hands. “How was Shelby’s red carpet event?”

Apparently, one of Shelby’s best-sellers was picked up for a Hulu movie, and the big event was the same day as Ashton’s wedding. She was conflicted about what to do, but she had confirmed the red carpet event before knowing the date of the wedding.

“Oh, Jasmine was so happy I was her plus one. Shelby was shining the entire night. It was really special to see. Let me show you pictures.” She gets up to grab her phone off the counter.

“There were so many celebrities. I was starstruck, boys. Truly in awe of everyone I got to meet.” Mom’s smile beams at us as she opens her phone and starts going through what feels like a thousand photos.

“Geez, you almost have as many photos from one night on the red carpet as you do of the dog,” Clay says, earning himself a smack across the shoulder.

“Don’t start, Clay. Lola and I have a special bond, don’t we, sweet girl?” She looks over at my dog, who’s currently panting, her tongue wagging to one side, looking at my mom like she’s her reason for living.

I roll my eyes and sip my coffee, feeling a bit surprised at all the accomplishments Shelby has attained throughout the years. She did apologize for her actions back at her high school prom, and we can now laugh about it, but I won’t lie and say I’m not slightly scared of her imagination. I’ve read her books; she might be slightly unhinged. Luckily, I had the wedding as an excuse not to attend this event.

“Did you go to the memorial?” I ask. My mom takes in a breath and looks over at me, the pain of that day still close to the surface.

“I couldn’t do it,” she says, her mind on something distant.

Although we live in Boston, my father was out in New York for the week training with one of the firehouses out there. We were left back here packing up the house. Moving to New York had been a sure thing until everything changed, and our lives were forever altered.

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