Page 24 of Embers in the Outfield

Unfortunately, the week he went out there was the same week as the terrorist attacks of September 11. My mother watched in horror as she began to realize my father wasn’tcoming home to us. I remember bits and pieces of that day, but nothing is as cemented in my mind as my mother’s sobs that took over the room as she watched everything unfold on the television.

“I’m thinking of going this year if you feel like going. I’m headed out to Ground Zero on the actual day. If you decide you want to go, just let me know.” I grab her hand and kiss her knuckles.

“I’ll let you know, sweetie.” She returns a small smile at me, and I would bet all my money in the world she will stay behind. She tries to go every year to that part of New York, but she never can get herself near that portion of the city. Jasmine, Shelby’s mother, asks every time my mother visits, and each time, my mom says she’s not ready. I think she’ll never be ready, and that’s okay. We all handle grief in different ways.

“So, what’s up with you and Kennedy?” Clay’s curiosity wins out, and I school my expression to keep from showing how annoyed I am that he brought this up around our mother. Thanks to him, now she is going to hold onto that piece of information and pester me with it.

“Um, well,” I move my hand along the back of my neck, “I’m seeing her tonight, actually.” I should have lied. With the way I see my mom’s face light up, I know this is going to bite me in the ass later.

“Finally, sweetie, you’ve opened your stubborn eyes.” My mom looks like she’s going to bounce out of her chair with excitement. “I knew you two would finally see things clearly. You’ve been fighting this for too long.”

“No, we haven’t. We’ve hated each other for a decade. Don’t read so much into this.” I omit the part that we are just keeping things physical. It’s not anything deeper than that.

“No, ask your brother. From the moment I met Kennedy years ago, I saw she would be the right fit for you. She keeps youon your toes, and she doesn’t sugarcoat anything. She’s exactly what you need.”

“That’s interesting because she seems to have more of a liking toward my twin than she does me,” I say, a little more bitterness to my tone than I would like to have.

“Rightfully so. Fuck, I’m way more fun,” my brother says, then gets a glare from our mother.

“Language, Clay!” she scolds, and I see my brother’s cheeks pink. I chuckle to myself even though I know my mother could do the same to me, and I’d cower the same way my brother just did.

“Anyway, she doesn’t like me more, Riv. She knows it gets under your skin, so we just play this little game. She and I aren’t attracted to one another like that. She looks at you completely different than she looks at me. Isn’t that weird that we’re identical for the most part and people aren’t attracted to both of us? Abby always mentioned how different we were in her eyes. I don’t see it. I see myself as an extension of you.”

“Way to get deep, brother. But yeah, I guess it’s hard for us to understand. I mean, I never dated a twin to understand what people are talking about.” I get up in search of something to eat.

Grabbing an apple, I move back toward the table and start eating. “I guess we’ll just have our fill and move on.”

“River Nichols, you will treat that girl with respect. I raised you better than that. I mean, there has not been one girl you’ve brought home who I’ve liked. The latest one, what’s her name,” my mother snaps her fingers, “Klarissa, right?”

“Karissa!” Clay and I both say aloud to correct her.

She waves us off and continues, “I wasn’t a fan. She was only into dating you to hang out with your firefighter friends. I don’t like that, son. Kennedy is the one to hold on to though. I love that girl.” She pats my hand, followed by a little squeeze.

Mom gets up from the table, not giving me much room to explain that this thing with Kennedy is just an attraction.

“Is this the right time to clarify that ‘dating’ is a stretch for what you do with the women you hang around?” Clay whispers, and luckily, my mom’s ears are nowhere near us to eavesdrop.

He’s not wrong though. Kennedy and I are going to get this itch out, and then we’ll probably be good. Even though that kiss earlier today was anything but simple. I have never felt that kind of connection from one kiss.

“I’m going to take a shower. Will you boys be around a bit longer?” Lola is already up and ready to follow when my mother looks back for an answer.

“Yeah, I’ll stick around,” I say, taking another bite of my apple.

“Same. I don’t have much to do now that I cook for one most of the time,” my brother replies, and I see the pain in his eyes when he says it.

Mom nods in understanding and begins her walk up the stairs. Lola’s paws follow right behind her. They’re two peas in a pod.

“So you’re seeing Kennedy tonight? Going to dinner?” Clay asks, curiosity evident in his tone.

“You know it’s not like that, Clay. I’m just going over there, and, I don’t know, we’ll see where things go.” I shrug, unsure how I should approach this whole evening.

Of course, if it were up to me, I would get there, strip her out of her clothes, and show her exactly what I’ve been fantasizing about doing to her since that night at the hotel.

“Hmm, maybe bring take-out? Or some dessert? Unless she is the dessert.” He’s now wagging his eyebrows and showing me his sly grin while I laugh.

“Yeah, that’s always a thought. Although, I have a feeling she’s going to want to plan everything out. We need to makesure we aren’t bringing feelings into this. You know that’s not my thing, and it’s sure as shit not hers. I just can’t get her out of my head.”

Clay’s chewing his lip. “How is it that the two most relationship-phobic people are going to start something together? Watch out, you’re going to catch feelings. Just you wait.” He laughs, and I roll my eyes.

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