Page 25 of Embers in the Outfield

The only truth in his statement is that Kennedy and I are allergic to relationships. I date here and there but keep things very much above the surface. The excitement usually fizzles out, and we just part ways. I know that this thing with Kennedy and me is simple: two people who want one thing—to get naked together.

“She’s sort of not really into long-term relationships. It’s the best of both worlds.” At least, that’s how I’m taking this.

“Oh man, brother, you’re going to be head over heels for this chick in a few months and then crying on my shoulder,” he teases. I decide the best response is with my middle finger.

Although she and I look at relationships with the same effort we do in picking our socks, I know we look at life differently. I think the way I live my life might actually piss Kennedy off. At least, that’s how it feels when I talk about some of the adventures I’ve been on in the past. I remember telling stories of skydiving, scuba diving, and other things, and I could feel her judgment in the way she shot daggers with her stare.

I think she’s someone who would thrive off a little thrill every now and then but finds it hard to turn that beautiful brain of hers off. She’s constantly ready for the next step, and that can sometimes hinder people like her from discovering new passions in life.

“Yeah, she’s a ballbuster. I can’t wait to see this unravel.” He holds his hands together and rubs them like he’s an evil villain in a movie.

My brother isn’t wrong about Kennedy being a ballbuster though. I will admit I’m a fairly confident person, but it’s not always something I see in a lot of women. Many women I have met will act like things don’t phase them, but when digging deeper, they’re as insecure as the next. So seeing it in her is a definite turn-on.

“Well, if I can give some advice and you can do what you want with it,” my brother starts as if he’s really going to give me an option not to hear it. “Be mindful that she’s going to be in your life forever. She’s Sam’s best friend. Ashton’s your closest friend, besides me, of course. You don’t want to fuck this up with Kennedy only to have it backfire in some way with Ash and Sammie.”

I’ve been thinking with my dick because now that he says that, it feels like a weight has been dropped in my lap.

“Either this is going to be absolutely amazing or a fucking shit show. I’ll be here either way, Riv,” he says as he sits back in his chair.

Of course Clay chooses this moment to find that small piece of romance still left in his heart. Here I am, thinking what a nice setup I’ve got going here with Kennedy because we know each other so well. We can skip over all the awkwardness and get straight to what we both want. But here he is, planting seeds in my head about how this is going to be a bigger thing. Now I just need to see what page Kennedy is on, and hopefully, it’s the same as me.

CHAPTER 10

Kennedy

I walk through my home,the feel of the carpet between my toes a soothing difference compared to the heels I had to wear all day.

Today was brutal and my mind has been either on work or my encounter with River. I just can’t seem to shake this attraction we now have brewing between us.

My day started with drama after an article came out regarding the late-night antics of one of my star players. This player thinks it’s part of his persona to go out, get drunk, and make a fool of himself any chance he gets. I got a call before the sun was up, and this issue is still wreaking havoc on my day.

I hate unresolved issues at work and although par for the course, this one seems to be following me each time I go into the office. This particular player’s behavior is starting to weigh on my shoulders, and I think it’s just the price one pays to be in the position I’m in. Brett Henry might be the league’s best pitcher, but right now, he’s becoming my biggest headache.

I only left the office because I knew River was coming over. And that brings me to the other part of my life that I can’t seem to adjust to. I have never had thoughts pertaining to River in asexual way, and now I can’t get him out of my head. Ever since the wedding, my mind is constantly pulling in the direction of River.

I went over to Sam and Ashton’s place because I needed a break from the issues at work. The moment I walked in, it felt like none of my problems stemming from work existed because River was all I saw.

Without trying, my brain seems to solely steer my thoughts back to that night in my hotel room. I can’t even get myself off without his fucking face entering the picture. The fact that who I saw as enemy number one morphing into whatever this new version of him is, it’s got me feeling off-kilter. I don’t even know what could happen next between us that won’t take us down a road we can’t turn back from.

River and I have one, and only one, thing in common, and that’s our stance on relationships. Have I been in them in the past? Yes. Do I long to be tied down right now? Absolutely not. And from the way I’ve seen him parade a new date to every event I go to where our friends are concerned, I can say he puts the same damn effort into staying unattached.

Pursuing even something sexual with River feels heavier than any date I would go on with a random person. I feel like we already have baggage, and we aren’t even connected romantically. We push and pull to get a rise out of one another; no mental path I go on leads to a good outcome the way I see it.

The fact that we aren’t starting from scratch with one another makes me nervous. It means there are already feelings there, even if those feelings were the result of years of irritation. We have a history, and one wrong move would not just leave my heart broken and our connection severed, but it might contribute to dismantling all I’ve built with Samara and Ashton. They’re part of my family now, and I can’t risk losing that asa result of my need to explore River’s body with my tongue.Oh gosh, just the thought of that is causing me to sweat.

Is it hot in here?

I move around my kitchen, opening my fridge to see if Heidi left anything for me to eat. Although I’m known for my kick-ass persona in a boardroom, I’m a shitty cook. Heidi has been with me for a few years now, and I don’t think I could see myself surviving if it weren’t for her. She keeps my home life in order while I try to keep up in a professional world that society has deemed male dominated. So I fight this idea that because I’m a woman, failure is behind every corner.

I rub the space between my eyes, hoping to subdue the inevitable headache that’s bound to erupt. My mind is going a mile a minute, and even if I try to think about something not relating to River, my thoughts go to work and all the stress that comes along with my position in the organization.

I look through the meals in my fridge and decide a glass of wine would probably hit the spot better than any high-protein meal. I’m reaching for a glass when the doorbell rings, causing my heart rate to skyrocket.

I get to my front door and pause with my hand on the handle. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I can do this. I’ve dealt with more intense situations; I can handle a man I’ve spent a decade verbally sparring with. I’ve got this.

I swing the door open and realize I’ve got nothing. All those mental notes I made regarding how catastrophic this can be if it fails fall by the wayside because all I see is a man who has no right to look so good in jeans and a T-shirt. Does he look better now than he did a few hours ago? How is that even possible?

River is standing in my doorway, leaning against the doorframe, an easy smile gracing his features.

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