Page 50 of Embers in the Outfield

Everyone screams with excitement, and I can see a little fear come over my friend Ashton. Obviously, he knew there were two prior to the party today, but I can’t imagine it’s an easy pill to swallow.

My mom always said as fun as it was to have two little kids growing up together, the amount of mischief we put my mother through was pretty crazy. Now that I’m older and can reflect on our behavior, I’m surprised she didn’t have more gray hair at an earlier age.

Once we’ve settled our hoots and hollering, we begin the countdown. They’re each going to pop a balloon. It feels like everyone has a phone out, but I just want to soak up this moment, this feeling, when everything is going to change for our friends.

“Three… two… one…” POP!

Everyone is going wild, and I reach my hand out and squeeze Kennedy’s hand while everyone is distracted. She’s fully crying now, and as much as I’m soaking up this big moment for my friends, my eyes keep looking over at her, enthralled by the love she holds for these amazing friends of ours.

CHAPTER 21

River

“I can’t believethey’re having one of each,” Kennedy says as we lie in bed later that evening. She’s moving her fingers along my chest, her head resting in the crook of my arm.

I wasn’t wrong; the moment we got back to my place, we were pulling at each other’s clothes. I have never moved so quickly to get inside her, and I swear, we were letting off a lot of pent-up aggression tonight. It felt like each hour that ticked at that party was an added layer of foreplay between us.

“Yeah, they’ll have their hands full, that’s for sure.” I smile at the thought of two little ones to spoil.

“At least you and Clay can give them some tips,” she says, endless loops being circled along my skin with her fingernail.

“I think Clay and I would likely give more advice to the kids on how to torment Ash and Sam than we can really give on parenting itself.”

Kennedy moves to rest her chin on my chest. “How was it growing up with someone who knew you so well? I mean, it must have been so cool.” Her gaze looks genuinely interested.

“Yeah, it was cool. I mean, many siblings argue or are jealous, but we never felt that way toward one another. We never feltlike we lacked in some way because we had to share everything with each other. It’s like a built-in best friend. It’s hard to dislike someone who’s pretty much genetically identical to you, you know?”

Kennedy has returned to her cheek resting on me, growing silent all of a sudden.

“Hey, what just happened?” I can’t help but feel the shift that just occurred.

“I was supposed to be a big sister. I was supposed to have something similar to what you have with Clay.” Her confession surprises me. I never knew this.

“I had no idea, Kennedy. I’m so sorry. Sam never mentioned it.” I don’t know much about Kennedy’s life, especially about some of the harder times she faced, so this is news to me.

“Sam doesn’t know,” she whispers, and I’m stunned for a moment. The fact she’s trusting me with this information feels like a big moment. But the fact she never told Sam makes me wonder what else she’s held onto in her grief.

“Why is that?”

“I don’t talk too much about my parents and the day they died. I just sort of put it behind me,” she says softly, as if she speaks about it too loudly into the space between us, she’ll be transported back to that day.

“Do you want to talk about it with me?” I ask, hoping she’ll lean on me.

“The day before my parents passed, I got to go to the doctor with them, and that’s where I found out my mom was pregnant. I was so excited. All I wanted to be was a big sister. And my wish was finally coming true.” Her voice gets thick with emotion, but I don’t interrupt her, and I simply caress her back.

“The next day, on my way to school, both my parents decided to take me. We were talking about the baby, and I remember feeling like everything was perfect. It was the clearest day after acloudy day before. It felt like I was living a dream, and then, in the next moment, everything became a nightmare. It still does,” she says, and I feel the moisture on my skin of what I assume are her tears.

Lola must sense the emotion swirling in the room and decides to jump on the bed and lie next to Kennedy. Kennedy brings her hand to pet Lola’s head, and my pup leans into the touch.

“I’m sorry you experienced that. I can’t imagine that is an easy memory to live with.” I really mean those words. My dad passed away in the most awful way I can imagine, but I wasn’t there to see it happen in front of me. I know many did, but I will say I’m glad I didn’t see him pass in front of my eyes. I don’t know how I would have dealt with that.

“I know you understand the feeling of losing a parent. I know it’s different how it happened, but the pain is the same. The loss is the same,” she says so quietly I feel her own heartbreak inside my chest.

“That’s true. But to live through that, to feel the pain along with recovering from the accident, could not have been easy.” I can’t help but differentiate her pain from mine.

“We aren’t that different with the pain though,” she says, not really saying more.

“Can you elaborate?” I push, feeling there’s more to this story she isn’t telling me.

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