Page 54 of Embers in the Outfield

“What’s up, River? I have a busy day.” I hear the coldness in my tone, but I can’t shake my feelings from this morning.

“So that’s it, Skip? You’re just casting me aside?” He’s cold when he speaks, and his tone just makes me stand up taller and pull those walls higher.

CHAPTER 23

River

The entire driveover to Kennedy’s office, my irritation kept escalating. That text from her felt cold, much like the old Kennedy was with me before we started whatever it is we are now.

Fuck! I know something changed this morning; I just don’t know where things got lost between us. I mean, what did I say that could have pissed her off? I can’t read minds, so I’m fucking lost.

I stomp through the lobby and make my way up. Kennedy has me as an authorized visitor, so there’s no need to call up. I know her assistant is going to give me hell for barging in, but fuck it. I can’t just sit at home and let my mind wander. I need to understand what happened in my kitchen this morning.

As expected, Dori or Daloris—what the fuck is her name? She fights me on letting me in the office, but luckily, I get around her and open Kennedy’s door.

The moment I see her face, I know she’s holding herself at a distance. This feels like the old Kennedy versus the new version of her that I saw last night. She’s got a withdrawn expression written all over her face.

“Daphne, please grab me when it’s time to head to the next meeting.”

Daphne! I was close.

The moment the door closes, I forget about the pleasantries. I just want to run to her and kiss her. Even with the hurt in her features, I want to wipe it away and fix whatever happened hours ago.

“What’s up, River? I have a busy day,” she says, and her tone is enough to cause a cold front in this summer heat.

I take her in for an extra beat. She changed since she was at my house this morning. Which means she had time to stay longer, but opted to get away from me. A weight settles in my gut.

“So that’s it, Skip? You’re just casting me aside?” I feel like we’re reverting to our old ways together. The uneasiness that crawls up my spine is hard to ignore. I thought we were past this.

“Casting you aside? Ha. That’s rich. I think the only person getting cast aside is me, which you made evident this morning. I got the message loud and clear, Riv. We’re scratching an itch. Well, don’t worry; my itch is no longer needing to be scratched. I’m good.” She’s ice cold now. I feel it with the way she’s looking at me, anger swirling around in those eyes of hers.

“Excuse me, but am I off here? I mean, isn’t that what we agreed to? Hello? We are literally in agreement this was not about feelings. It was about us being together in a sexual way. What the fuck, Kennedy?” My voice is escalating, but I can’t help the irritation I’m feeling right now the more I talk to her. I know if I don’t watch it, it’s going to turn into a yelling match.

“You’re right, River. And now I’m telling you I want out. I don’t want to do this anymore.” She crosses her arms over her chest, much like I’d imagine three-year-old Kennedy doing when she didn’t get her way.

“Oh really? So you call the shots, and I just have to accept it? I have no say?” I throw back.

“River, you can’t force me to be with you just because you don’t want to accept it. It is what it is. We had some fun for a while, and now the fun is over.” I feel like I’m being slapped across the face.

“Are you fucking kidding me? From last night to right now, you’ve just gotten your fill?” What the hell? I mean, I thought we connected last night on a deeper level. “What am I missing here?”

“What are you missing? What are you MISSING? Open your eyes, River. Things aren’t where they were before. I feel like I’m coloring outside the lines now. This isn’t working out between us. That’s it. Done. How else do you want me to spell it out for you?” She’s looking at me with such an exasperated expression while I’m playing catch-up.

“Are you saying you have feelings for me? You like me?” I ask in a surprised tone.

“You know what, Riv, I don’t need this right now. I don’t need you making fun of me. I’m doing exactly what we agreed on. I see this getting too deep, and I’m alone in that feeling, so I am doing the mature thing. I’m throwing in the towel.”

“What if I don’t accept? Don’t I get to have a say?” I throw my hands in the air.

“Not if I’m standing here alone. Are you saying you feel the same as me? You see a potential future with me beyond fucking me?” I flinch at her crass words. I know we were only hooking up, but even I can see it was deeper than that. The problem is I’m struggling to find words. I didn’t expect this when I made my way over to her office.

“Exactly. Your silence is answer enough. Please leave, River.” She motions with her hands like she’s directing me out of heroffice, even though she is nowhere near me. She’s behind her desk, and I’m still on the other side.

I’m just standing here, shocked in place. My hesitation in answering isn’t coming from a place of confusion. It’s simply coming from a place of needing a minute to catch up and process her admission. I’m still spiraling when I hear the door open behind me.

“Ms. Sparen, it’s about time to go. Your driver is downstairs,” Daphne says, and I still feel cemented in place.

“Thanks, Daphne. Can you see Mr. Nichols out, please. He’s going to need a minute. He’s rebooting.” She motions toward me, her tone lacking the comedic tilt.

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