Page 6 of Embers in the Outfield

“Because we flipped a coin, and I lost,” he says without missing a beat.

Clay and River are twins. Their dark brown hair, tan skin, and hazel eyes turn heads everywhere. The fact there are two of them is just a bonus for the female population. As the years have passed, I can tell some differences between them, but if you’re not familiar with them, they could easily pass off as the same person, especially if River keeps his mouth shut. His smug remarks really set him apart from his brother. Actually, they’re chiseled to perfection, but I’d never tell River that.

“Ha ha, very funny. I think in reality—” I’m interrupted by Theresa as we make our way down toward the area where Ashton and Samara just disappeared.

“Pay attention, you two. You’re worse than my toddler,” she huffs. I hold a laugh in because she’s acting like we are taking off into space tomorrow instead of simply walking down the aisle.

“Yeah, Kennedy, shush.” River agrees with Theresa, and I see hearts form in her eyes at him. What the fuck? Isn’t she married?

“Figures you already have her wrapped around your finger. Dick.” I roll my eyes again.

“You know, for the number of times you refer to me as a dick, I’m starting to think you’re a little obsessed with him. You know, he’s always down to play. All you have to do is ask.” He waggles his eyebrows, and I use my elbow to shove him in the ribs. He huffs but lets out a laugh at the same time.

The moment we make it through the double doors and back into the hotel, we rip apart as if we’re going to internally combust with the proximity.

“Kenny, I need you to talk some sense into my mother!” Sam is already red faced and irritated. “My Aunt Kay wants me to use a crocheted purse she made special for the money dance. I can’t do it. Please help me out.” She’s got her hands in a prayer position, and I swear she’s on the verge of getting on her knees to beg.

“What’s so bad about the purse?” That’s from River, and the moment he asks, I think I see regret mar his features.

“What’s wrong with it, you ask?” Sam is now on the verge of exploding, and River takes a step back and puts his arms up in surrender.

I vaguely hear Ashton whisper, “Don’t anger it.”

“It’s in the shape of a penis, River! A fucking penis. Who does that?” My friend is worked up, and now I am starting to fully comprehend why, and I might have to agree.

“Start from the beginning,” I say, hoping to understand why her aunt would want to do such a thing for an event like this.

“So when I was little, I guess I told her I wanted her to crochet a purse for me. Do I remember this request? Of course not because I was FOUR! Four years old! This woman can’t remember what day it is, but she remembers me telling her I wanted a crocheted purse. Cut to her finding a funny print on Etsy, which I assume someone would do for a bachelorette party or something, and she thought it would be funny… FOR THE WEDDING. A cock purse, Kenny. Imagine the photos.” Sammie is ready to pull her hair out, and Ashton decides to come up behind her and rub her shoulders.

I try to rein in the laughter that’s threatening to burst out of me as I absorb this information from my best friend. Too bad River can’t seem to have the same maturity, and he busts up laughing.

“I’m definitely dancing with Aunt Kay tomorrow. She sounds like a riot.” His laughter is now spearheading Ashton to laugh, and I have a feeling if they keep this up, Sam may not have a groom to marry tomorrow because he’ll be deceased, and I’ll have to help her get rid of the body.

“Sam, look at me.” I get her attention back on me while the boys, because men they are not if they’re this immature with a penis purse. “Show me who Aunt Kay is, and I’ll go have a friendly chat with her.”

I see Sammie’s shoulders relax, and she starts to look out the window to find who in the crowd is the aunt.

The moment she spots her, she points her finger in the direction of her mother and a group of other women. “See that lady with the purple hat on? That’s Aunt Kay. She’ll likely have a crocheted purse on her right now. She has multiple in every color so that she can coordinate with her outfit.” Sam rolls her eyes, irritation still radiating off her.

“Okay, I’ll take care of it,” I say and begin my walk back out toward the family that’s sitting in the chairs outside. I’ve gotmy sights set on Aunt Kay and almost miss Dorothy, Samara’s mother, standing right next to the penis purse producer.

Unlike Ashton’s family, Samara’s is full of love and laughter. They welcomed me with open arms when I lived with Sam in college, and we’ve been tight ever since. Though I’m surprised I have never met Aunt Kay before.

“Oh, Kennedy, isn’t all this just lovely? Sam did such an amazing job. Have you met my aunt?” Dorothy motions to the woman next to her.

“It’s lovely to meet you both. Aunt Kay, is it?” I turn to the woman with purple from head to toe, and sure enough, she has a purple crocheted purse in the shape of what looks like an eggplant. I can’t help but look down at it, and she catches me staring.

“Why make a purse in a simple shape when you can make it fun? Don’t you agree?” I think my eyes double in size at the thought of the random items she has made into purses.

Clearing my throat and figuring out how I’m going to rectify this for the bride, I begin my story. “So I heard you made a purse for Samara for the big day,” I say, and the aunt starts to bob her head in agreement, happiness evident in the way her smile takes over her face.

I hope the smile I’m sporting looks genuine. I’m slightly horrified by the eggplant I’m seeing in front of me and the fact that it’s gigantic. I can’t imagine the penis purse is any better, although probably hilarious as a gag gift.

“I’m so bummed out though. See, I had given something to Samara that was pretty special to me that we planned on doing for each other’s weddings, and it was part of what she was using for the money dance. I feel awful because what an amazing gift you made her.” I pull out my saddest face, hoping she feels sympathy.

I see her gaze swing from me to Dorothy, and sympathy etches her face. “Oh, you poor girl. I don’t want to cause any problems between you and our beautiful Sammie. That’s no problem. I don’t mind if you give her your gift. It’s just a shame. I spent so much time on the intricate details for her purse, and it will go to waste.” She looks down, disappointment evident in her features.

I’m about to interject, to say maybe she can use it another time, when a voice speaks up behind me, “Oh, you know, Aunt Kay, I think what would really make this so much better is if you allow Kennedy to borrow this purse, that I know you must have put so much love into making, for her own wedding day.”

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