Page 71 of Embers in the Outfield

CHAPTER 31

River

It’s beena few weeks since Kennedy and I discovered this unknown link in our lives. It’s interesting how grief can hit you, feeling that loss all over again, even years after the fact.

When I first started this with Kennedy, in the back of my mind, I would wonder what my dad would think of her. I think it’s only natural to wonder something like that when you lose a parent too soon. You’re always looking at the life you’re building and wondering how that person would take in the choices you’ve made.

I’m well aware that my dad had no idea who Kennedy was at that time. Nor did he understand the person she would grow to be in my life. But there is this part of me, deep down, that feels this connection to her in a different way now. It feels as though a part of her was meant for me and vice versa.

After she calmed down and we were able to talk about it without feeling an overwhelming sense of emotion, we called my mom and explained everything that had come to Kennedy’s realization. Clay was still there, and the moment Kennedy explained her reaction, there wasn’t a dry eye on either side.

My mom was overcome with a sense of closure, although what Kennedy experienced with my dad was so different than the last few moments of his life. But for my mom, after years of hoping to know more about how his day had gone up to the point he entered the tower at the World Trade Center, she got a little piece of him back with this story.

There’s no way to look at this and feel complete though. That’s something we all have to come to terms with as we realize this new link between Kennedy and my family. Three people were lost amongst us, along with thousands of others. Amidst the tragedy that day holds, we’ve found a way to carry on, but the pain lingers deep in our core.

I’ve pretty much spent every waking moment at Kennedy’s if I’m not on shift at the station. I feel like I’m here more than at my own place, so much so that Lola hasn’t been back to our apartment in weeks. Something feels right about it, and it seems neither of us wants to say anything to change this new normal we’ve fallen into.

I’m walking out of the room to find Lola snuggled next to Kennedy while my girlfriend is smiling at something on her phone. It isn’t until I get closer I see it’s someone on social media getting engaged.

“What is with you and proposals?” I ask, not sure if she’s trying to drop hints or something.

“I honestly love proposals. I have this thing about them; they just make me smile. Even years ago, I would stop to watch a proposal if it was happening at a game or at some popular spot in the city. I’ve always loved them,” she explains, all while watching her screen.

“Are you hinting at something?” I can’t help but ask.

In all honesty, I’ve thought of ways I would ask someone as strong-minded as Kennedy to marry me, but I haven’t thought of the best way yet. I know when the idea hits me, it will be epic.

“Oh, stop, River. That is not what’s happening. I’ve loved proposals since before this whole thing with us started. Come to think of it, I think it all started with my parents,” she continues, smiling, this time swinging her gaze to me.

“Don’t leave me hanging, Skip,” I say as I make my way to the kitchen to grab some food to take to the station.

“My parents didn’t fight often, but when they did, no matter what the discussion was about, in hopes of making my mom smile, my dad always asked her if she would marry him again, even after making her mad,” she chuckles, “and she would always say yes.” She shrugs her shoulders and keeps scrolling on her phone.

For someone who was so adamant about staying single and not committing to someone, I love seeing her melt a little at seeing people propose.

* * *

The holidays have just ended, and I am cringing at the thought of taking down all these decorations. Experiencing the magic of Christmas with Kennedy was fun for me. I remember we’d stand so far away from the mistletoe at parties, sending each other seething looks. But this year was quite different, and I know we had a lot of fun making up for lost time each chance we got.

I’m lost in thought, grabbing a snack in the kitchen, when I hear Kennedy in the other room.

“Oh my god, River!” I slam the fridge as she yells.

She comes running over, my dog at her feet, getting excited over the prospect of whatever is getting Kennedy all riled up.

“The twins are coming! Sam is in labor!” She shoves her phone in my face, and once my eyes focus, I see the text from Ashton.

“That’s exciting. Are you going to head over there?” I ask, realizing the time and the fact I need to head out soon.

“I guess? I can text her and see. Last she went to the doctor, they were going to do a C-section because the babies aren’t in the right position or something. I guess her water breaking means the party is happening early,” she says excitedly.

“Keep me updated. I can always try to run to the hospital if it’s not too busy,” I say, grabbing the last of my things before I give Lola some attention and give Kennedy a kiss goodbye.

“Riv?” she calls after me before I close the door.

She comes running over and stops me by bringing her lips to mine.

“Please be safe tonight. I love you,” she says, a soft smile taking over her face.

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