Page 75 of Embers in the Outfield

“Yeah, only one way to find out,” he says, sounding a bit defeated in his tone.

“So you think you’re ready to get back out there for real now?” I ask, sort of surprised he’s ready to start dating now. From what I’ve seen, he’s seemed more caught up on Abby than wanting to move forward.

He looks down at his hands, wiping at some soot still left near his wrist. “My marriage crumbled, but I think it’s time I start dating again. It’s weird. When Abby first left, I was adamant I hated her. I was so mad, but then it took a few months and many drinks later to see that I wasn’t mad at her. I was still in love with her.

“And no matter how much I tried to deny it, it wouldn’t change that fact. So now I own up to it, and hopefully, one day, it won’t feel so heavy to get someone’s number and actually pull the trigger and call them. And maybe that day will be today with Nurse Jamie. Maybe it’s with someone else. But I can’t keep waiting around and sulking. What I had with Abby is in the past. I can’t go backwards anymore. I have to look ahead.”

As much as he’s saying these words, I a see the look of defeat in his features. It’s in moments like these I see the differences between the brothers come to the surface. River has always been sarcastic and ready to goof off. Clay has always had a softer side. That’s probably why I never felt an attraction to Clay. I preferred the side of River that was always wanting to spar with me. Clay was the one I went to for a comforting hug and something kind to say.

“I’m sorry it still hurts,” is all I can think of to say. He nods and puts his hands in his pockets.

Once the X-rays are done, we return to the room and sit to wait for the doctor on call to come in and give us results.

“You’re lucky, Mr. Nichols. Looks like it’s just a bad sprain. The swelling should subside after a few days, but no fracture is evident. If, for any reason, the pain worsens or you notice more swelling in that portion of the leg, please don’t hesitate to return. You’ll be off duty for the next two weeks. Don’t try to be a bigger hero either and disregard my orders.” Dr. Jonis looks at River, hoping to get through to him.

“Don’t worry. We’ll keep an eye on him,” I reassure the doctor. “Thank you for everything.”

“You’re still on concussion protocol even though there’s no indication you have one. I’d feel better if you have someone with you tonight. The nurse will give you discharge papers with a list of symptoms to watch out for,” he explains.

“Oh, mywife,” River emphasizes the word, “will be with me all night. She’s a great nurse.” River has the nerve to wink at me, and I roll my eyes. Seems that head injury isn’t messing with him right now.

The doctor nods and turns to leave when River chimes in again, “Uh, Doc, what about other things? You know, other extracurriculars,” he asks with no shame while Clay lets out a loud laugh by my side. I simply shake my head. I cannot believe his mind is onthatright now. Of course, my face goes crimson.

“As long as you continue to do well and don’t feel any headaches, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, or double vision, you should be good to go in twenty-four hours. Just be careful with the leg. Make sure you’re staying off it while you recover.” With that, the doctor leaves, and we wait for the nurse to come back with discharge paperwork.

Clay leaves to update the firehouse with the news, and then it’s just us in the room. I sit there and continue to look at River with a baffled expression.

“Oh, come on, Skipper, you had to know I would ask. I’m injured, not dead. I have needs, and so do you.” He smirks, and, once again, I can’t help the eye roll.

“Your safety and health come first, Riv,” I say as I stand and get closer to him.

“Believe me, all that is part of my health.” He moves his hand onto my cheek.

The feel of his warmth against my skin calms me, and I close my eyes and lean into his touch. The fact he could have been severely injured or taken from me is not lost in that moment, and I can feel a tear fall down my cheek.

“Hey, why are you crying? Look at me. I’m fine,” he says as he moves his thumb to catch the tear.

I move closer to him, kissing his face, careful not to hurt the patched-up spot above his eyebrow. I move my lips over his and just savor that moment between us.

“I love you so much, and I just can’t fathom a moment where you’re not here with me, that’s all,” I say, vulnerability etching my words.

“I love you too, and I told you nothing is going to happen to me.” He moves his hand into my hair and brings my lips to his again, deepening the kiss.

“You can’t promise me that though,” I whisper.

“Let’s move in together, Kennedy,” he says, and I can’t help the gasp that escapes my lips.

“River, listen, I am not expecting you to make big decisions right now. Let’s get you better, and if you still want that, then we can revisit this at another time.” I think he does have a concussion. There’s no way.

“Kennedy, you want to know what gets me through my day when I’m not with you?” I give a slight nod, and he continues, “Knowing I’ll get to spend my nights with you. The fact Lola is there waiting for me and so are you. Getting home after a long-ass shift knowing I can hold you and breathe you in. Those are the things I put high on my list. But tonight, all I wanted was to come home to you. Our home. Not my apartment or yours. I want us to be under the same roof, sharing things, annoying each other. Everything. I’m not kidding when I say I want everything with you.”

I look at him as he speaks to me, my eyes taking in his big hazel irises, sincerity and truth behind his gaze.

Without thinking through it too much, I start to nod, the smile on my face growing.

“Yeah? Yes? Fuck, Kennedy, baby,” he says, bringing my face closer to his and kissing me. “I’m so happy right now.” He kisses me, and I swear I see stars.

In that moment, I fall a little deeper for the one man I pushed away for so long.

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