Page 2 of Embers in the Dark

I can’t look over at my brother. I’m looking down at my sandwich, still trying to figure out what just happened. What was Tucker going to say? Was he just being affectionate like the kind friend he’s always been? Or was there something more to that gesture?

I finally compose myself and look toward my brother.

“Hey, Danny. How’s my favorite brother?” I give him the best smile I can muster.

He comes over and gives me a hug, although it’s awkward as I stay seated while he reaches over to squeeze me.

“I didn’t expect to see you this weekend.” Danny’s gaze keeps bouncing between me and his best friend. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, of course. Just wanted to get my laundry done here this weekend.”

“I get that. Plus, Ma’s cooking is hard to beat,” he says. “Well, you ready to go?” He looks over at Tucker.

“Yeah, sure. Let me just finish this.” He points at the sandwich.

“No problem.” My brother leans a hip against the counter and crosses his arms over his chest.

They start talking about work at their respective firehouses and I zone out. I catch my brother looking over at me, his concern evident, but I keep a smile plastered on my face between bites of my sandwich, hoping my brother doesn’t get suspicious. I honestly don’t need him putting together that I have a massive crush on his best friend. That will only complicate things, especially if it’s not reciprocated by Tucker.

I had to grab something from my old room and as I’m making my way back out, I hear hushed voices. I can’t make outwhat’s being said, but as I get closer the words get clearer. Before I reveal myself from the hallway, I hear Tucker’s voice.

“Fine, I’ll take Abby on a date.”

I struggle to keep the sandwich I just ate from coming back up as I slowly retrace my steps back down the hall. My heart is pounding so hard, I fear my brother and his best friend will hear it from the living room.

The moment I’m safely behind the door of my childhood bedroom, I sink down and compose my breathing. I bring the heels of my hands to my eyes, the beginnings of a headache creeping up to the surface.

How could I have been this stupid? This crush I’ve let myself have on Tucker Malloy has consumed my thoughts since I understood what it meant to care about someone romantically. This infatuation has been one-sided, and I let myself believe it was growing into something more between us these last few months.

I left school yesterday, a smile plastered on my face, music blaring like a fucking idiot, thinking I would finally get somewhere with Tucker after years of pining after him. Then I walked out of my room just now and discover him agreeing to a date with another woman? I should’ve known better. I’ve been a fool, and I fell for his charms.

That’s the thing though. I’ll always be Daniel Rios’s little sister to Tucker Malloy. I’ll forever be the annoying neighbor who chased him around years ago, because I was bored and wanted his attention. But to me Tucker has been the boy next door who hung the moon. He’s a safe space; the person I run to, a shoulder to lean on when I feel scared.

But Tucker Malloy is no longer a boy. Oh no, he’s built like a fucking ox if I’m being honest. One I’d like to climb like a tree now that I’m older. He just looks at me with those deep-green eyes and ginger hair, and my heart flutters in a way it never has for any other guy.

As I sit in my room, all those little wistful feelings are outthe window now, because my blood is boiling. Fuck melting at his feet. He’s seen the last of me falling for his charms, even if he doesn’t know I'm head over heels in love with him—washead over heels in love with him. Not anymore. I’m done being this girl who pines after the guy. I’m not meant for this role.

I’m not this person for anyone. My sisters always taught me to be the woman men go after. Yet here I am, rearranging my life, waiting for the guy like a lovesick fool. I’ve been waiting for Tucker to see me.

I’m acting like this is some fairytale where he’ll finally notice I’m perfect for him and we’ll ride off into the sunset together. But that’s never going to happen. I’m going to take life by the reins, find myself someone else and forget Tucker Malloy ever existed.

Fuck. This. Shit.

I’m no longer that gangly little girl running around trying to get Tucker’s and Danny’s attention in the yard. I’m a grown, confident woman. I can hold my own.

I’m the youngest of five children. The oldest Rios children are my sisters, who served as extra maternal figures in my life. My brother, who everyone aside from me refers to as “Rios,” has always been incredibly protective of me. I clung to him the most as he was the one that helped me through all the major milestones; showing me how to ride a bike, walking me to school, teaching me to drive, and all the things my dad didn’t have time to do. Both my parents were busy working two jobs.

I’m the “happy accident,” as my parents like to call me. I was very much not expected, coming much later than the rest of my siblings. The thing with the dynamic between Daniel and I is that while we were close when I was little, the ten-year age gap between us eventually started to wear on me. As I got older I felt more smothered than protected by him, which caused epic fights between us.

Tucker served as our Switzerland throughout the years. He kept the peace between my brother and I when tensions got high. He became my hero, and the person I ran to when I needed someone to lean on without judgment. I learned pretty quickly that I could get away with a lot as the baby of the family. Though Tucker was never one to coddle me, he would lend a hand whenever I needed it.

Luckily, I was a tough kid, learning to stick up for myself when necessary. Being timid isn’t really a personality trait I understand. My teachers always told my parents I wasn’t shy. I was quick to speak up for myself if I felt like I wasn’t heard, which I’ve carried through into my adult life. But right now, my voice is feeling numb as I process the fact that the one man I want is going on a date with someone other than me.

Tucker has grown into a brawny-looking man at six-foot-six, while I’m a petite woman at five-one. His laid-back personality has women falling at his feet, while I’ve been told I remind people of a black cat with my bold personality. I have an edge with my fashion sense, preferring to pair my dresses with a leather jacket and my favorite combat boots instead, of fancy heels.

I snap myself out of my thoughts and realize I can’t be here right now. I start to move through the room and grab my belongings. I’m not finding the usual comfort my childhood home blankets me in. I need to get back to my apartment in Connecticut. My roommates will probably pepper me with questions. But after that, they’ll shower me with chocolate and a chick flick, while they help me drown my sorrows in a tub of ice cream.

They’re the only ones that know about my true feelings for Tucker. They knew the moment he arrived to help us move into our place that I had something for him. My eyes wouldn’t stop tracking his every move through the small space. The second my brother and Tucker headed back home, they started questioning me.

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