Page 35 of Embers in the Dark

“Great, I can’t wait,” Abby squeals.

I roll my eyes.

“Don’t give me that, Malloy. I know you’re going to love this one. It’s an age-gap and it will be so hot, I promise.” She has the audacity to wink at me, then she waggles her eyebrows as she looks over at Baylee. Fuck my life. Could she be any more obvious? She’s going to make this even harder the next time we hang out.

I hug both of them goodbye then they wrap their arms around Baylee, saying how glad they are to have finally met her. I can see they’re both in love with my new roommate.

Once the apartment is quiet, it feels like the tension returns between me and Baylee. I look over at her and right as I’m about to say something, she speaks.

“Abby’s really pretty.”

“She is,” I respond, there’s no point in lying.

She moves past me to the kitchen and opens the fridge to grab a water bottle. “And you’re telling me you have no feelings for her?”

She twists the cap and takes a sip, watching me closely.

I cross my arms in front of me, confused where this is going.

“No, Baylee. Why are you not understanding that I have no romantic feelings for her?”

“Because you took her on a date and I really don’t understand why you did that and didn’t pursue her after that, Tucker,” she insists, her tone cold.

“Because she loves Clay, that’s why,” I reply.

She rolls her eyes and caps her water bottle. She’s about to walk away, irritation rolling off her.

“Bay, what’s up with you? You’ve been giving me the cold shoulder for days and I don’t get it. You’re the one that wanted to live here, and I have no problem with that. Then you ask about my date with Abby, only to discover it was completely platonic. You proceed to get pissed after finding that out and close me off. Did I leave anything out? What gives?” I throw my arms up in the air.

“You know, this isn’t you. I know you’ve been through something incredibly difficult and I’m trying to give you space. I also understand you and I are worlds apart in age, but you’ve never acted so immature before. I never saw you like this before, acting like a child. But if you think this is how you’d like to behave, go right ahead.”

I begin to walk off, until she yells, “I’macting like a child?! Are you fucking serious, Tucker?! After what I’ve been through, you’re going to walk off after saying that to me?”

“You know what, Baylee? If there’s one person who’s going to treat you like a human being, it’s me, and you fucking know it,” I throw back. “I’m not going to treat you with kiddie gloves, Baylee. You know I’d walk through fire for you, but I also won’t let you treat me like I’ve done something wrong. I’m here for you, but you’re acting like I’ve hurt you, when all I’ve done is be right here.”

“Fuck you, Tucker. You weren’t there when I needed you,” she throws back at me.

“What are you talking about? That night when you called, I was there in a heartbeat!”

She leaves her water on the counter and starts moving toward me.

“No, all those months I texted, you never answered. The silence led me straight into his arms.” She begins pointing at me. “You were a coward, and now I know that despite all the years I put you on a pedestal, all I’ve been to you is Danny’s little sister. So yes, maybe to you I’m acting like a child, but I’m hurt. I’m confused. I’m processing. While you were building a friendship with Abby, I was getting lost with a monster by my side. I was losing myself in a way I never imagined.”

I’m stunned by her words. I wasn’t expecting this type of rawness, especially after the lightness that came from seeing her laughing with my friends tonight.

“Baylee... I... shit.” I rub the back of my neck.

“You know what? Forget it. I’m alone in my feelings anyway,” she says, moving past me.

I grab her hand and she snatches it out of my grasp. “No, Tucker. Don’t you see?”

I just stand there looking at her. I can’t form words. Do I tell her how I felt all these months? I see her holding back thetears and I’m lost in my own thoughts when she opens her mouth and pours her heart out for me instead.

“Tucker Malloy, you’ve been the person I see each time I close my eyes. All these years, I’ve grown into this person people see as strong, self-confident, with the ability to walk into the room and feel like she can take on the world. But all I’ve ever wanted was to have you look at me as more than Daniel Rios’s little sister. All I’ve wanted was to be your world. Because for most of my life, you’ve been mine. Who’s the fucking idiot now?” She lets out a sad laugh and I think my heart just shattered on my floor.

“The weird thing is, though, I shouldn’t even care about this”—she motions between us—“because I’m in a fucking mess with Myles right now. But living with you has really fucked with my head. Because I think I still love you. Fuck.” She looks up at the ceiling. “I just said that out loud, didn’t I?”

She bites her lip and looks back at me. “Well, I might as well admit it all, right? I’m fucking young and stupid, anyway. Yeah, I fucking love you. There. Fuck it. I’ll stay here until I get this whole thing with Myles figured out if that’s okay with you. Because I honestly don’t have the mental capacity to deal with anything else right now. Then I’ll move out. I hope you’re okay with that.”

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