Page 47 of Embers in the Dark

“I know, right? Pure evil from that little lady.” He shakes his head. “My Lola!” He looks gutted. “Who would do such a thing?” He walks off, still baffled by the whole thing.

I look over at Hunter and chuckle quietly.

“He must really love that dog,” he whispers.

“Oh, Lola is the fucking shit!” I tell him, all jokes aside. “I choose Lola over River every day of the week and twice on Sunday.”

I make it home after Baylee has left for her morning study session. I can’t help the disappointment that washes over me as I walk through my apartment. She hasn’t been here long, but I’m already used to her presence in every part of my space.

I make my way through, putting my things down on the couch. My mom doesn’t have an appointment today, so I use the extra time to plan out the date for Baylee while she’s outof the apartment. I have something in mind, but there are a few things I need to get figured out. I pull out my laptop and sit on the couch with the sports highlights in the background.

Soon I’m lost on a website with a few options in front of me, when my brother’s name highlights my phone.

“Hey, man, what’s up?” I ask when I pick up.

“Not much. It’s been a while. I thought I’d call to see how things are going. Sorry, we’ve been playing phone tag; I’ve been swamped at work.”

“I understand. There hasn’t been much to update you on from the last time we texted,” I tell him.

“Yeah, I just feel bad.” He sighs through the phone. I know the distance is weighing on him.

When mom was first diagnosed, he was torn and wanted to relocate back to Boston. His fiancée is from Ohio and after many conversations, he finally decided to stay back to continue his plans there. I promised him he was fine where he was and that if anything changed, I would call immediately.

“Ma’s been doing well so far. She’s in good spirits, even with all her treatments,” I assure him.

“Yeah, she said as much when I talked to her this morning,” he says. He still sounds unsure.

“What’s weighing on you?” I put my computer to the side and take my phone off speaker and bring it to my ear.

“It’s hard, man. This distance is more stressful than I imagined. I didn’t expect to have her sick, I guess. I thought we’d have more time to tackle this stage, you know?” He sighs.

“I know.” It’s the only response I can muster.

“I feel like my mind is on my wedding, but it’s also sort of mourning parts of my life that I won’t get with her,” he chokes out. “What if she’s not here when we have kids?”

Fuck. I haven’t let my mind wander that far ahead.

“Eric, you can’t think like that. Right now, our focus is tosee her participating in our lives. We live our lives in the present. She’s here for us today and we focus on that.”

“You’re right, Tuck. It’s hard though. My mind just can’t help it.”

Eric has always been a worrier. He’s a planner and it’s hard for him to stop that brain of his moving a hundred miles an hour. I get it, he wants to plan his life and envisioning a life where our mother isn’t there is hard. If I let myself go there, though, it’ll cripple me. So, I’ll keep him grounded, at least until I feel like we need to worry about it.

“Listen, if I feel like things are getting bad, you’ll get a call from me, okay?” I assure him.

“I know I will. I love you, little brother,” he tells me.

“I’m taller than you, remember?” I laugh.

“By half an inch, you shit,” he scolds.

“The ladies say size matters.”

“Such an asshole.” He scoffs. “Please let me know if you need anything. I’m here if you need me. I promise I’ll drop everything, Brit and I will be there anytime.”

I really love my soon-to-be sister-in-law. Her family is loud and welcoming and everything I’ve ever wanted for Eric. They’ve welcomed not only him, but my mother and I as well. Anytime we visit they’re quick to pull us in for a hug and I’m grateful for the instant family they’ve been for all of us. I know he’s got the support there, navigating all this while our mom is going through her illness.

“I know, I love you, man,” I tell him. “And I got my tux fitting scheduled. I hope I don’t look better than you up at the altar.” I laugh into the phone.

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