Page 5 of Embers in the Dark

“You’re miserable. Don’t you see that?”

“I am not miserable. What are you talking about? I’m fine.” I chuckle. I’m one of the happiest people; Abby’s delusional.

“That’s what you think. You’re just showing up for everyone, playing a part, but you’re not living life to the fullest. I should know, because that’s what I was doing. I did exactly what you’re doing now. Then I finally had someone pull me out of the hole I was living in, and guess what? I saw the life I could live. So, I’m going to be the person to push you to your limits. I’ll be your Marissa!” She beams at me.

“You’re no Marissa, sweetheart.” I laugh.

“Hey, that’s not nice.” She fake pouts.

Marissa is Abby’s best friend who lives in Southern California. She’s one of the reasons I went on that crazy fake date with Abby months ago. Marissa’s outgoing, speaks her mind, and has no problem grabbing life by the nuts. She takes what she wants from whatever situation is in front of her. Abby might be trying to give me the kick in the ass that Marissa gave her last year, but it’s not hitting like she wants it to. She’s one of my closest friends, but she’s not Marissa.

“I appreciate you wanting to be my cheerleader in life. I think I’m fine and I’m not in some depressive state. I’m doing okay with you. Plus, Kennedy hooked me up with a gym to workout at near my house, so there’s that.”

Since my mom’s diagnosis, I’ve needed an outlet. Rios and Clay used to be running buddies, but with their relationship still strained after the whole fake-date debacle, I’ve tried to hang out more at the gym with Clay. I’m not much of arunner though, so Clay has been finding a new crew to run with at the station, while I’ve been trying to find some new people to lift weights with. River spots with me at the gym sometimes, but it doesn’t always work with our schedules.

Kennedy has hookups with her baseball franchise, so she was able to get me a great deal with a gym near my place with all the bells and whistles for me to lift weights. There’s no way I would’ve been able to afford such a spot, but she gets an amazing discount, and she had an in for me, so I took her up on it. It will come in handy when the weather is dicey here in Boston come winter. Until then, I’ll alternate between enjoying being outside and some indoor workouts at the new place.

“Speaking of workouts, have you seen the jump rope guy on social media? Oh my gosh, I think he recently moved to Boston. I watch his stuff when I’m breastfeeding Ella in the middle of the night,” Abby says as she grabs her phone and starts scrolling.

“Does Clay know you’re watching guys on the internet while feeding his daughter?” I make a face.

“Clay satisfies me just fine. Don’t you worry,” she says with a Cheshire cat grin across her face.

“Gross, I don’t need that visual.” I gag.

A blush paints her cheeks as she continues to scroll, and I honestly don’t need to know what she’s thinking. She can’t find this person’s account fast enough. The moment she stops scrolling, she turns the screen over to me.

“This guy. Have you seen him before?” she asks.

The image of a guy takes up the screen. Of course he’s not wearing a shirt and he’s got tattoos on his chest. He’s got the quintessential defined physique, and he’s jumping rope, doing some crazy maneuvers that look pretty impressive. With my body type, I’d be on my ass in no time.

“Nope, never seen him before. Let me see his handle.” I take her phone and notice his account name is @huntsamillion. “Nope, never heard of him.” I hand her phone back to her.

“I love his reels. He’s always doing crazy stunts. He was in the military. Now he’s back to civilian life. Some of his stuff has weight workouts, some has this jump rope stuff, and then he does runs in different cities he’s in. It’s pretty cool. But I’ve noticed he posts in Boston a lot lately. Makes me think he’s here permanently now.” She keeps looking down at her phone, completely lost in his page.

“Yeah, I bet you follow him for the workouts, Abs,” I say, laughing to myself.

“Fuck you.” She laughs, still not looking up.

“Why are you mentioning this guy, exactly?” I ask, lost to why she brought him up.

“Maybe he could be your friend.” She finally looks up at me.

“Yes, this random guy in a city of over six hundred thousand people, I’ll find him and we’ll become friends. Maybe we can braid each other’s hair and stuff. Maybe he could join us to watchLove is Blind,or come to smutty book club.”

“Oh my gosh, imagine.” She looks at me, hope evident in her eyes.

“I was fucking kidding,” I say. “Oh wait, maybe you can stare at him when I bring him around even though you’re with my buddy Clay. I bet it’ll work out well for you.” I roll my eyes again. “You can introduce your daughter to him while you’re at it.” I point to Ella, who’s starting to squirm and she moves her little fist to her mouth, likely hungry.

“Okay, point taken,” she answers sarcastically. “Now hand me my daughter. It’s close to her feeding.” She makes grabby hands for me to hand the baby over.

“Okay, okay.” I kiss Ella’s cheek and give her to her mother.

Abby takes her daughter and sniffs before bringing her onto her shoulder. Is that a thing?

“Malloy, back to Baylee,” she starts and I moan, dropping my head to the back of the couch. I run my hands down my face.

“I thought we were done with the Baylee talk,” I complain.

---