Page 7 of Embers in the Dark

“I assume my son has no idea you’re here,” she says as she brings her tea to her lips.

“No, he doesn’t know I’ve been visiting, and I’d like to keep it that way,” I say, my gaze out the window. I watch the kids playing outside, soaking in the last bits of summer as they kick a ball to one another, laughing much like I did with Danny and Tucker years ago.

“Hmm, you’re still upset at my Tucker, I see.”

“I’m not upset,” I lie. I refuse to look her way because I’ve never been good at lying to her.

“Sure. You were never good at fibbing around me, Baylee Rios. Why don’t you try that again.” I hear her sip her tea and I keep my eyes trained on the kids outside the window. I will not look at her green eyes that match her son’s.

I shake my head. “There’s nothing to fib about,” I continue my lie because there’s no way I’m going to tell her my deepest feelings about her son. Those are packed away for good.

They have to be.

If I search in my chest, I’ll crack open those feelings about Tucker that I hid away last fall and have all of them come seeping out. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed, I still miss him. But maybe if I keep telling myself I don’t want to see Tucker Malloy anymore, one day I’ll crave him less. Even though I’m with someone else now, I still long to be around him just as much.

“It seems you’ve been avoiding my boy quite a bit since last year, if I’m not mistaken,” she comments.

“Have I?” I play dumb.

“Gosh, you’re just as stubborn as all the other Rios kids, aren’t you?” Carolyn chuckles.

“Ah, maybe so. But I’m the most fun.” This time I swing my gaze her way and I wink at her.

There’s something about being around Carolyn that makes me feel like myself. I shed all my worries at the door, and I can simplybewhen I’m around her. It’s a comfort sitting here with her.

“How’s Daniel doing? Any new girlfriends?” she asks.

“Not that I know of. Still annoying the hell out of me. But he likes this boyfriend of mine, so that’s nice. Gets him off my case for once,” I tell her, rolling my eyes.

This is my first boyfriend Danny seems to like and that’s probably why I’ve kept Myles around for so long. I like that Danny accepts him. I sort of hate that having Danny’s approval matters to me, but it’s nice to have it anyway.Why is that comforting?

“Yeah, Daniel always had this need to protect you. He was never like that with your sisters, but with you it was different. Like you were this delicate doll, even though you were born a spitfire.” She chuckles. “I remember the moment your mama came home with you. Your brother looked at you with such adoration—such protection.”

“Yeah, well, I can protect myself just fine,” I say, although I feel less power behind those words than I did before.

“Oh, I know. But sometimes those we love still want to provide it. Daniel has always been hardheaded. Just because you say you can do something doesn’t mean he’ll listen.”

I hum my acknowledgement.

“Tell me more about the internship you’ve been doing this summer. You seem to be liking it,” she says, a small smile spreading across her face.

“It’s been a lot of fun. I’ve learned a lot,” I say, my smile genuine.

I attend a small university in Connecticut that has a kinesiology program I’ve fallen in love with. I could’ve stayed in Boston after graduating high school, where I was also accepted into the program at a university nearby. But I simply wanted to try something different and have some independence so I could spread my wings. I’ve never shied away from trying new things. If there’s one thing about me, it’s that I have no fear taking a leap off that ledge to see where the wind takes me.

With my degree, my goal is to one day become a physical therapist. This summer internship is my first step to attain that dream. This internship has opened my eyes that sports medicine is where I would like to specialize.

Unfortunately, at my current school, sports medicine isn’t an offered major. If I hope to eventually work with athletes, it would be beneficial to add that to my studies. At one point this summer, without telling anyone—including my roommates or my family—I submitted applications to transfer to different programs that offer the double major.

It would mean possibly extending my graduation date, even though I'm supposed to be graduating in June of this coming year, but it would benefit me in the long run. I would also need to go to grad school after to further my specialty, but it’s what I really want. Unfortunately, I haven’t received an acceptance from any of the schools I applied to.

It’s a shot in the dark at this point, but I did hear from two schools that put me on a waitlist. I had nothing to lose. I’ll revisit sports medicine once I finish out my time at my current university and see what my options are once I have my diploma.

I spend the rest of the afternoon telling Carolyn about how much I’ve learned in the weeks since I started the internship. She asks me about everything involving the training and thephysical therapists that work around me. It’s hard to contain the smile that forms on my face when I talk about this career path I’ve fallen in love with.

My time with her flies by, and soon I have to run next door to say goodbye to my parents and start my drive back to my apartment. Luckily my parents have kept my visits to themselves, knowing I don’t want them sharing my impromptu drop-ins with Carolyn with anyone else in our family. Carolyn and I share a special bond, and I honestly just want this to be our unique uninterrupted time together.

Halfway through my drive home to Connecticut I get a call from a number with a Boston area code. My finger hovers over the decline button, almost clicking the red icon when I decide to tap the accept button in case it’s an emergency with Carolyn or a family member.

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