Page 75 of Embers in the Dark

I madeit to Connecticut earlier today and nervously had my meeting with my prosecutor a few hours ago. Going through the case, especially walking through the details of everything, felt nauseating. I’m glad she went through it though, because tomorrow won’t be any easier. Seeing those photos of me immediately following the attack was brutal, but I think it was better to see them ahead of tomorrow.

It’s amazing what our brain will do to preserve itself to help us cope from tragedy. In order to survive a hard time, I have felt like I remember the severity of that night in such a different way. Now that I see how much damage he caused me physically, I see just how significant this is and how devastating this will be if I don’t ensure Myles serves time for what he did.

It makes me sick to think he could do this again. The moment I left Mrs. Lupchick’s office—or should I say Fiona because she kept insisting I call her by her first name—I’m more determined to see Myles learn his lesson. No aggressor should walk away unscathed from something like this. He deserves to serve time. And Baylee Rios is no doormat.

I called Tucker right after my meeting with Fiona to tellhim how it went, and he was proud of me for that first step. I couldn’t help the tears I shed. But I took a deep breath and told him I won’t let that deter me tomorrow. I’m determined to see this through. I’ll look Myles in the eyes in the morning and show him he didn’t tear me down.

Now, I’m sitting in my old apartment with my girlfriends having a girls’ night. This moment feels bittersweet because so much of this feels like my old life, like I’ve never left. Pieces of this are so comfortable to me, but I also don’t want to go backward because I’ve gained so much from the life I’m living in Boston. I know the three of them will always be in my life in some way.

“Alright, so we got the update from the prosecutor, but what’s the fun update you had for us?”

They already know everything between Tucker and I, but I told them I had something fun to tell them. However, I kept my text vague as to what it was.

“Well, last night, I met someone you might be interested in hearing about,” I pull out my phone and open my Photos app.

“Oh my gosh,” Brianna squeals. “Is it someone on the baseball team. Aren’t you friends with the Gael’s CEO or something?”

“Um, yeah, sort of. We’re not that close yet, but she’s really awesome. Maybe I can swing a baseball player meet and greet your way. But no, that’s not the surprise,” I say as I pull up the photo I want to show them.

I swing my phone to face them and all three gape at the picture in question. It’s one of Hunter and I from last night, smiling from ear to ear, mostly at Tucker who is hidden on the other side of the screen scowling at us. My friends do a double take, their eyes nearly bug out of their heads.

“No. Fucking. Way!” Mandy yells. “When? Where? How?”

Alexis takes my phone from me and pinches the photo toinspect it, probably wondering if it’s photoshopped. “Tell me how this happened right this very minute!”

“Turns out he moved to Boston and…” I take a dramatic pause, “he joined Tucker’s firehouse.”

The three of them scream.

“That’s fucking bananas!” Brianna gasps.

“What are the chances?” Alexis yells.

“That’s it! I’m moving!” Mandy declares.

I’m laughing as the three of them lose their shit.

The rest of the night continues with the four of us going back and forth laughing, exchanging stories and simply soaking up time together. They never found a replacement roommate, so I sleep in my old room, and it feels like old times, but something is missing. I don’t feel like the same Baylee that used to sleep here.

I’ve been chasing the old Baylee, hoping she’ll return, but I think that version of myself will never quite come back to me. As much as I’ve been looking for her to re-emerge, a new version has erupted from the darkness. This Baylee is stronger and more equipped for what’s ahead.

As I try to fall asleep, I close my eyes, picturing the ugly monster that lies ahead in the morning. But his clear blue eyes don’t bring on the same terrors they once did. I’m no longer absorbing his words and believing I’m weak inside. Tomorrow, I get the opportunity to show him exactly who he tried to knock down and how I rose up despite his efforts.

“Remember what we discussed yesterday,” Fiona whispers my way.

I nod as I sit next to her. I look up at the clock and realize we still have thirty minutes before everything begins. I’m antsy and need to move around.

“Do you think I can run to the restroom?” I look at her.

“Of course. You doing okay?” She looks at me, concerned.

“Yes. I just downed a ton of water this morning,” I tell her.

I was so nervous I drank way too much water in fear I would be dehydrated. I may have overdone it. I internally roll my eyes. Myles’s team still hasn’t arrived, so I know I have some time.

I move through the courtroom and walk into the hall. Luckily the restroom is close by, and I push through to the door to the women’s bathroom.

Once inside, I find an open stall. The courthouse is quiet and there’s not much foot traffic throughout.

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