Page 9 of Embers in the Dark

“You’re going to take it, right?”

“I mean, there’s a lot to consider, but I have to, right?”

“Baylee, you have to! You’re a natural. You’re so good with patients and you deserve this. What’s holding you back?” she asks.

“I mean, I have my roommates, and I don’t know...” I waver.

“Your roommates will understand. I know it seems scary,but Boston is your hometown. You’ll do great. Talk to your roommates and explain your passion for this specialty. I doubt they’ll keep you from pursuing it. Anything else keeping you from going for it?”

“Well, I mean, I have a boyfriend in Connecticut.” I bite my lip, embarrassed that’s one of my reasons.

“Ah, there’s always a boyfriend.” She sighs. “Well, you explain to him what’s going on. I doubt he wouldn’t be supportive.”

She clearly doesn’t know Myles, because he’s probably the least supportive person I know.

“Yeah, of course,” I say, lacking the enthusiasm I’d hope to have in my tone.

“You deserve this! I’m so proud of you for going for this, Baylee,” she says.

“Thank you, Farrah!” If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have known I could apply for it this late.

“Of course. Let me know if you need anything from me but just know you’re going to be great.”

We hang up and I can’t help the excitement coursing through my body.

I look in my rearview mirror and pull over to the side of the road. The moment I stop my car, I put on “Make Way” by Aloe Blacc. As soon as I hear the song through my speakers, I start to belt the lyrics, and I feel invigorated. Does it mean I know what I’ll do? No. But I feel completely excited by the fact that I have options for my future.

For the last few months, I’ve felt like a darkness has come over me, but now, it feels like life is pumping through my veins for the first time. It’s almost like I left my childhood home that fall day and I’ve been living in a state of limbo ever since, waiting to find the sunlight. But right now, I feel energized.

I will admit, I’m slightly scared about how I’m going to break this news to Myles. The thought of telling him aboutthis brings a sense of fear over me that I can’t quite put into words, but I’m trying not to focus on that. That’s probably why I never told him I applied to begin with. I’m trying not to think of the vile words he might say in response to my confession.

I rock out to the song in my car, screaming the lyrics, feeling my nerves start to even out. Everything will be okay. Something about this song makes me feel better. This is good news, and I know my friends will understand when I tell them. I’ll put Myles’s reaction on the backburner for now. I’m only focusing on how amazing this is for me.

The moment the song ends, I put my turn signal on and get back on the road. The rest of the drive home is uneventful. The closer I get back to campus, the more at ease I am about telling my girlfriends. Myles is a completely different obstacle that I don’t feel remotely ready to face.

CHAPTER 3

Tucker

Walking into the gym,I’m immediately comforted by the sounds of the exercise machines and people talking. I went on another abysmal date last night and I’ve been itching to come in here and tune out the chatter in my mind.

All I think about after a terrible date, like the one I had with Allegra yesterday evening, is Baylee. I compare how much better it would’ve been had I gotten to sit across from Baylee in that bar instead.

Then my anger gets to an all-time high when I think about Rios and how I want to pull his head out of his ass for not seeing how miserable his sister is in her current relationship. After my horrible date, my mood was made worse when I saw yet another picture of Baylee, all prim and proper, at a party with her fucknut boyfriend. He looked like the smug bastard he is, his hand possessively on her side, while she had that strained smile, her clothes once again conservative. Her hair pulled tight in a ponytail, not one hair out of place, no loose tendrils like she used to wear when she studied at the kitchen table back home. No semblance of the person I knew so well. Then my mind went to the fact she would be happier with me.

Pushing the door open to the weight-room area and grabbing a towel, I walk toward the benches, grabbing the weights I need to start my workout routine. I put my headphones on, and lose myself in the music.

After nearly an hour, I’ve punished my body enough with the weight workout I’ve put myself through, so I decide to finish off on the treadmill. I warmed up on the way over with a light jog from my place, so a walk on the machine will help bring my heart rate down before I head back home.

I’m a few minutes in when someone comes to stand next to me and taps my arm, I look over to find Kennedy and River.

Pulling my headphones off, I greet them, “Hey, didn’t expect to find you both here.”

“We just got here...” Kennedy begins.

“You just get here?” River asks me.

“Just finishing,” I say.

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