Page 109 of Outspoken

“Can you light this, mija, and put it up there?” She points to the mantle. “Here are matches.”

“Sure.” I take the matchbook, strike one, and light the red candle.

When I move to set it on the mantle, Marta says, “Oh, not there. Next to that one on the right.”

I move the candle next to one with a picture of what looks like a lady Grim Reaper. “Here?”

“Yes. Gracias.”

I return to the couch, hoping I didn’t just cast some strange spell with everything she’s got on that mantle.

Marta touches my knee lovingly. “I’m so happy you like Miguel. He’s liked you a long time.”

Blushing, I say, “I know. It took me a bit to warm up to him. He comes on strong.”

She laughs. “Yes. My son is lovesick like me. Thank you for giving him a chance. It’s just been me and him here for a long time, and I’ve seen him go through too much heartbreak.”

I take in the decor again, feeling dumb for not realizing sooner that it all belongs to his mom. “Oh, I didn’t know you lived with him.”

“Yes. Yes. He takes care of me. I feel a bit guilty.” She smooths her house dress over her knees. “He takes so much care of me, then doesn’t take enough for himself. Am I saying that right? I try to get him to enjoy his life, but he worries about me. I know I take too much of his energy.” Her eyes become glassy and she grabs a tissue to dab at them. “I wish so much more for him than this. It hurts me that I need care. He devoted so many of his youth to helping me.”

More obvious signs from the living room pop out at me—a throw-up bucket tucked next to the couch, pill bottles on a side table, heating pads, lozenges, a clear container with gauge and other items for changing dressings. It’s been a lot of years, but I should’ve noticed these items sooner—they’re the same items my mom had in her living room.

I glance near Marta’s collarbone and, sure enough, there’s something bulky on her chest beneath the house dress. It’s hard to tell the exact shape, but I’m pretty sure it’s a port for chemo.

Marta notices how my eyes are now glassy and she hands me a tissue.

I set my chocolate bar in my lap and take the tissue, rolling it between my fingers. Miguel completely fills my thoughts, my heart ready to burst from everything that man is. He has so much going on in his life, yet he was still around when I needed him? He never once complained or showed up looking anything less than cheerful and positive. I’m sure I’ve been complicating everything for him. Why didn’t he tell me he was busy caring for his mom? I completely understand what that’s like, and I would’ve come over to help.

I’m sure he was trying not to put any of his heavy responsibilities on me, but I wish he had.Of courseI would help him carry the weight.

As I’m sniffing and trying not to let emotion overwhelm me, Marta pats my knee. “I suppose I might have to move out, but I don’t mind if it’s for you.”

I clear my throat. “Why would you need to move out?”

“Mmm, I’ve been feeling stronger recently. Getting better. If you and Miguel start a family, you need plenty of alone time. I’ll move back in to help if you need me, but a young couple needs space.” She finishes drying her eyes and grins at me.

I’m touched she’s thinking about those things, but I’d hate for her to misunderstand and think she needs to move out. Miguel and I aren’t official yet, and I don’t even want kids.

I guess hoping for grandbabies is a parent thing. My own Mom certainly dropped hints for me and Brody to start our own families. I always felt too guilty to admit I’ve never had that desire.

I wish I had talked to her about it. I wish I had talked to Mom about a lot of things before she passed.

I can at least clear up any misunderstanding with Marta. “Oh,” I say, “that’s so thoughtful, but you don’t need to move out. Miguel and I are taking things slow and—”

“No, no. You need time to be a couple, mija.” She clasps her hands over her heart and smiles up at the mantle. “I’m so happy my son is finally getting everything he’s wanted. I told him to have faith and trust in what’s meant for him. He annoys the whole family by complaining about not having his wife and kids already. Finally, it will stop.” She grabs my hand. “This is the best gift you can give us.”

I plaster on a smile even as I feel dizzy.Kids?“He wants…I mean, when did he first start talking about a wife and kids?”

She laughs. “Always. He was such a cute little boy and so many girls in elementary had crushes. The boys teased him, but he loved to play house. He fake married half the girls in the neighborhood before junior high. He helped them raise pretend baby doll families.”

My mouth is dry, and it’s not from the chocolate. “So he’s alwaysdefinitelywanted his own kids?”

“More than anything. He says playing with nieces and nephews can be enough, but I see his sadness. There’s always a sadness in him. He needs his own family.” She touches my hair. “You are so pretty, and I can tell your heart is kind. I know you will treat my son with so much love. You were worth waiting for.”

My tears finally fall in torrents.

She cradles my cheeks in her hands. “Shh, not so many tears, mijita. It’s all okay now.”

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