Page 134 of Outspoken

I’ve been thinking about his living options. He’s my family, so I’m always here for him, but he might be better off in a group home. Maybe he’d be happier there since my existence only pisses him off.

I’ll simply find a way to deal with his absence like everyone else’s.

A woman laughs behind me somewhere, so I turn to scan the surroundings. It looks like there are people behind some bushes near the side of the church. I would leave it alone if the woman’s laugh didn’t sound so familiar. I casually stroll closer, recognizing Angel’s voice.

“Here,” he says. “This one’s funnier.”

I peek through an opening in the bushes, curious who Angel is actually talking to. My heart comes back from hibernation when I discover the beautiful blonde woman beside him.

Mi amor.

I steady myself, trying not to let my feelings run wild.

Mi corazón. Mi alma. Mi estrella que ilumina los cielos.

The heaviness I’ve been carrying suddenly lightens, and I take a full, deep breath, all of my muscles relaxing. Real love is more powerful that I had ever imagined.

How does all my anguish feel more bearable just from knowing she’s close?

Amber’s heart-melting smile lifts her cheeks and she laughs, watching a video on Angel’s phone. “Yeah. That dog was funnier,” she says.

I catch a whiff of her floral perfume on the breeze and my pulse quickens.Quiet heart. You can’t be doing this now.Instead of my agony that I can’t pull her into my arms and kiss her, I focus on the fact that she came. She didn’t have to, and I wouldn’t have held it against her. But she came. No woman has ever done this much to support me.

I’m moved beyond words.

Getting my feelings in check, I walk around the bushes into their line of sight. Angel’s relaxed face immediately turns hard and he frowns, moving his phone away from Amber and lowering his head.

“Oh,” Amber says, standing and adjusting her black dress. Chewing her bottom lip, she stares at me hesitantly.

She’s beautiful—soft flowing hair, comforting blue eyes that light up when they see me. It would soothe my soul to hold her—give me a place to rest. But I resist.

“Hi,” she continues, glancing at the ground. “I’m…I was going to go in but wanted to keep Angel company. I’m sorry. I mean”—she steps forward to give me a quick, awkward hug—“I’m sorry to hear about your mom. And that I didn’t go in. Is the service still going? I want to pay my respects to your amazing mother.”

Ignoring my better judgment, I take her hand and press her palm against my chest so she can feel my heartbeat. “Thank you for coming. It really helps having you here.”

Her hand lingers in mine a moment, then she slips free, tucking a strand of hair behind her hair. “I’m glad. I was worried you’d be unhappy.”

“I would never feel that way about seeing you.”

Her beautiful blue eyes are on me, studying my face. There’s so much love in those eyes, but neither of us can cross this canyon between us.

She turns to Angel. “Ready to go in?”

He stands with a sigh and starts walking away toward the street.

“Where are you going?” I call after him.

He turns, scowling at me with everything he has. “What the fuck do you care?”

“You still live with me.”

“For how long now that Marta’s gone?”

“You think I’d kick you out?”

He puffs his chest and takes a step forward, challenging me. “Everyone does. Who you are will come out now that your mom isn’t here to stop it. You’re a fucking fake.”

My stomach tightens. I feel guilty because I was just thinking about a group home, but I’d only do that if he wanted to. I’d be happy and relieved if he chose to stay with me. It matters what he wants, though. It matters what’s best for his future.

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