Page 151 of Outspoken

My family.

I swallow again, some of the disorganized energy releasing its grip and flowing out. I stand there a moment just looking at them, trying to let everything settle. I must seem more approachable because Amber nudges an unsettled-looking Angel, encouraging him to speak.

His eyes shift to the dirt, and he shoves his hands in his hoodie pockets. “Sorry”—he clears his throat so his voice is more solid—“Sorry about your car. I wrecked it. You going to report me?” He clears his raspy throat again. “I have a record, so I might go to juvie. If you could…” He stops short of asking me not to report him, then he inches even closer to Amber, pressing their shoulders together like she can shield him if I lose it.

I step forward to grab him. He tries to dodge, but I grab his arm and yank him into a hug. He fights at first, trying to break free. When he realizes I’m not trying to hurt him—and that I won’t let go—he relaxes. His arms fall limp at his sides as I press his forehead into my chest.

He already reaches my armpit. He’ll be tall when he’s fully grown.

My abs tense. How can I only be noticing that now? He’s lived with me for a few months, and I’ve seen him every day, but I didn’t notice? I’m done being oblivious, especially about myself and my actions—missing everything that’s obvious to others. I haven’t given Angel enough of my attention, and I was ready to give up on being in his life just yesterday. I won’t make those mistakes again.

He’s a difficult kid, but I won’t fail him.

Amber’s pissed eyes soften and she smiles, looking a bit teary.

As I’m holding Angel close and gazing at Amber’s loving expression, a soothing heavenly light envelops me. Everything in my life clicks—a missing piece falling into place. A key unlocking the right door. My heart finally in rhythm with everything around it.

Mi amor.

My family.

Everything I’ve longed for since I was young—what I tried to force into every single relationship—is already in front of me. It entered the moment I finally let go and stopped pushing. The fog in my mind lifts, revealing a beautiful, clear world.

I have exactly what I need. Here. Standing right here with me.

Family.

I inhale like I’m experiencing oxygen for the first time. Mom’s sweet voice whispers in my ear,“The greater plan, mi cielito.”

The destructive energy in me completely calms, and I break the hug with Angel—not that he was hugging me back. I push him away gently to give him a solid look, my hands holding his shoulders.

“Don’tdo that to me,” I say firmly.

He lowers his head. “The car might—”

“I don’t care about the damn car,” I say, shaking him so he looks me in the eye. “I’m talking about you.Don’tscare me that way. Break all my shit if you want. I don’t care. I can replace those.”

His eyes are wary and confused, his brows heavy.

He’s not understanding what I’m saying, so I grip his shirt in my fingers, gently shaking him again. “Youare not replaceable.”

He inhales sharply, his expression twisting and collapsing on itself. He shoves away from me and turns quickly to hide his face, putting distance between us and pulling his hoodie up. He chokes on a sob and gasps again and again while his shoulders shake.

Amber stands beside him. She doesn’t initiate a hug or rub his back. She just stands there while he breaks down, looking at the ground and pressing her shoulder gently against his in solidarity.

I smile at her.Mi amor is so strong and full of love.Then I lean against the car’s hood because I’m completely drained. This day took too much out of me. I’m sure it drained too much from all three of us.

But my heart is finally clear. I’m no longer questioning my future. I know exactly what to do—exactly what I need.

I wait until Angel is settled. He wipes his face with his sleeve and finally turns around, looking embarrassed and avoiding eye contact.

“I’m sorry for yelling,” I say. “The stress got to me, and I won’t raise my voice like that again.”

He nods weakly.

Willing energy into my body and pushing myself off the hood, I stand tall for what I’m about to ask. I tip my chin at them. “What do you think about this?”

Amber’s brows dip. “What do you mean?”

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