Page 164 of Outspoken

After setting Bamsy on the table, I move to Miguel, missing his touch. I wrap my arm around his waist and enjoy the warmth and his vanilla scent.

He kisses my forehead, giving me a soft smile. “All good?” he whispers.

“It will be in a moment,” I whisper back.

Paige shoves the manila envelope toward Brody, closing her eyes and scrunching her face like she did with me.

Brody’s Adam’s apple bobs as he studies the blank surface of the envelope. I wonder if he’s thinking what I did—that the envelope holds devastating test results—because he looks ready to puke.

He slips the paper out quickly and then stares. His eyes become glassy and he staggers backward to sit on the edge of the couch, ready to collapse. He exhales, smiles, laughs, sucks in a breath as a tear falls. “Thank God,” he says. “Fuck, I’ve been terrified you were leaving me. You’re not, right?”

Paige shakes her head, chewing her lip.

He darts to her so fast she flinches, probably worried he’ll touch her when her skin is so sensitive.

“No, beautiful,” he exhales, maintaining space. “I’m in this for the long run.” He lifts the sonogram picture. “And we’re having a baby? Really?” He grins, another tear falling.

Miguel’s eyes widen and he looks at me, mouthing, “Pregnant?”

I nod and he beams, squeezing me against him.

I look back at Brody. I can’t get over seeing my brother cry. He has cried four times in his entire life—once when mom passed, once when he visited me in the hospital after my overdose, once when Paige came home safe after escaping her stepdad, and now.

I touch my heart, a wave of contentment washing over me as I witness this beautiful moment between him and Paige. Then guilt stabs my stomach. Miguel is watching them, too, smiling at the emotion on Brody’s face. He looks overjoyed for them, but he’ll never experience this joy for himself—the joy of hearing his own baby will be coming soon.

He’ll never experience that because of me.

I focus on Paige, trying not to think about it now.

“Can I hug you?” Brody asks her.

She shakes her head.

“Hair?”

He steps closer to run his fingers through her long, loose hair. Her entire body seems to sigh, and I wonder if she’s been withdrawing herself from any of Brody’s comfort.

“Kiss?” he asks.

She nods.

He presses his lips sweetly against hers.

Miguel whispers in my ear, “Kiss, mi amor?”

I smile, nudging him back. “You can wait,” I whisper.

He groans.

“Hey,” I say to Brody once they’ve broken the kiss. “Here.” I toss Bamsy at him.

Brody engulfs the bear in his massive arms, grinning. I laugh at this grown-ass behemoth snuggling a panda plushie the way he wants to snuggle Paige.

Miguel steps forward to offer Paige a fist bump. “I’m so happy for you, little sis.”

She smiles, fist-bumping him.

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