Page 3 of Outspoken

She smiles warmly. “Just wanted to let you know my shift is done, so Tammy will be taking over.”

I exhale, relieved that was all she needed to tell me. “Thank you.”

The nurse exits and I press a shaky palm against my chest. I glance at Miguel, who is watching me carefully. “Every time they check on Brody,” I say, “I get freaked out it’ll be bad news. Like they made some new terrible discovery about his condition.” I take a deep breath, dropping my hand and trying to relax. “I can't handle any stress right now. I feel like anything upsetting would push me over the edge, you know?”

I swallow.Why am I telling him this?Then I clear my throat. “Sorry. Ignore me. You wanted to mention something?”

A strained look crosses his face before he quickly shakes his head. “Uh, no. Forget it. Nothing important now.”

I pull a second chair next to the bed. “Here, have a seat.”

“In the puke-brown chair?”

I smile softly—a genuine smile, something I haven’t done in days. “I’m not crazy. It’s a technique for calming anxiety.”

“I figured.”

He relaxes, sitting next to me, and we both turn our attention to Brody and the rhythmic whooshing as the machine forces him to breathe.

Miguel hunches forward, staring hard at Brody, and asks, “So, what's the update?”

I hug my waist tightly. “Um, he’s okay for now, but still in a coma. They’re monitoring him for more internal bleeding, and I guess just waiting. The doctor said we have to wait and hope he improves. The bullet did a lot of damage.” I focus on Miguel’s spotless sneakers, trying not to relive the moment Brody was shot again. “Sorry I didn’t message you. I don’t have your number and Brody’s phone is locked with a passcode. Who told you?”

“Our buddy Dustin. Is that who you messaged?”

“Yeah, I only have his number, so I'm glad he let you know. I should probably get yours while I'm thinking about it. I can message you directly when there are updates.”

He nods and we swap phones.

Once numbers are exchanged, I drop my phone into my purse, which is on an empty chair. “I also called the gym,” I continue. “I don’t know what will happen with Brody’s work and his clients. Do you think they’ll switch to a new trainer?”

Miguel leans back in his chair, drumming his fingers on his thigh and studying the monitor that shows Brody’s heart rate. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of it so Brody has work after he heals.” His eyes tense. “So…what exactly happened?”

Swallowing hard, I look at the tile. I only told Dustin that there had been an accident, but I didn't give any details. I want to tell Miguel everything because he's Brody's best friend, but the words are stuck.

Instead of doing the right thing and sharing the story, I stand abruptly. “Sorry, I…I’m…I need to get something. I’ll just be a minute. Excuse me.”

I power walk out of the room, my sneakers pounding against the bleach-white tile. With blinders on to avoid anything triggering I might see along the way, I don't stop until I reach the vending machines around a corner. Then I pull a couple of bucks from my jeans pocket and jam them into the dollar slot, my hands shaking.

After a few moments to collect myself, I’ll give Miguel the abridged version: Paige’s stepdad was an asshole and wanted to hurt her. Brody fought him. Guns were involved. Now, Paige has been taken away by the State, Frank is being questioned by the police, and Brody is inches from death.

And I’m here being useless.

I jab my thumb against the buttons on the vending machine, unaware of what I'm selecting. A candy bar wobbles toward the front of the metal rings then stops, threatening to fall but remaining stuck. I smack the machine with my palm, wanting to collapse and sob. After some thrashing, I give up, staring at the candy bar that refuses to be eaten.

Stuck, just like me.

Now I’m completely out of cash. Hungry. Alone.

I can’t do this.

“Hey.”

I flinch and look up.

Miguel leans against the vending machine, placing his forearm above the buttons and angling toward me. “You should have told me you wanted to fight the vending machine. I would’ve helped.”

The corner of my mouth lifts. I’m completely drained, so my voice is faint as I try to engage with him. “That’s no fun. Of courseyoucan take down the vending machine. I need to practice my moves too.”

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