Page 56 of Outspoken

Bob stands, moving to pat the tops of my shoulders. He towers over us since he got all the tall genes. “I’m really happy you said that, Amber. We all know how amazing Miguel is, yet there aren't many outside of our family who appreciate his kind heart. It’s about time that someone else sees what we do.” He squeezes my shoulders, still addressing Amber. “It’s so wonderful having you here, and I hope we’ll be seeing you more often.”

Amber blushes, and I think I am too, because my cheeks feel hot.

His phone rings, so he checks it—probably something business-related since he’s always on call. “Excuse me. I have to get this.” He walks off.

I avoid looking at Amber, my insides drowning in chaos. I don’t know what to do. Should I drop the act? Or is it too soon? Hell, what if I do end up confessing how my feelings have deepened? I don’t trust myself around her when she’s acting so interested and open and saying all these nice things.

It feels like one wrong move and I’ll scare her away for good.

Mierda.

She leans closer—within kissing range—and squeezes my knee. “Wow. Your family is so welcoming, even when I feel really out of place. I'm just some random chick appearing out of nowhere.”

If only you knew how familiar you are to them.

“Your brother is very sweet,” she adds.

“Yeah, well, Bob and I share that intense gene. Maribel is our drill sergeant, and my youngest brother, Carlos, is in a universe of his own—he’s the eccentric one. My cousins are a mixed bag.”

My eyes dart to her inviting mouth as I try to figure out what someone indifferent would do, because right now I yearn to lift her onto my lap for cuddles. Her words are stoking a passionate flame within me, which isn’t good. I’ve felt a similar rush before—though not as intense—and it has always caused problems. Mostly, I ended up scaring women away with my push for lifelong commitment after only a handful of dates.

But if you love someone, why wait?

No, I have to wait with Amber. I need to go slow.

I rub the tablecloth, contemplating my situation as I watch a few kids wrestle in the grass. Maribel yells at them not to roll over her vegetable garden.

As much as I don’t want to, I need to put space between me and Amber for a bit. I need to calm my heart. I can’t screw this up. I can’t. She couldactuallybe wifey and the mother of my children.

My heart knows she is.

I nudge Amber’s shoulder, smiling lightheartedly. “Well, I’m going to check on food.” I stand, patting my stomach. “I’ve been looking forward to that all day.”

She laughs. “Okay. I’ll go over names in my head, so I’m smooth when I meet more of your family. I want to make a good impression.”

My heart skips a beat.She cares this much about my family?

I'm desperate to kiss her. I've completely fallen for her, and there's no coming back. The way she's acting today is making it harder to contain myself.

Don’t screw this up, lovesick fool.

I whip around and hurry to the safety of Maribel's house.

Chapter Fifteen

Amber

AFTER MIGUEL LEAVES TO CHECK on the food, I sit alone at the table, simply observing. There's a lot of spice in the air, and I'm not sure what food I'm smelling, but it’s pleasant. Adults are gathered in small groups around the backyard while the kids play. Miguel's family is very animated, with lots of big expressions and hand movements, which makes me smile because they all so clearly match his personality.

I shrink into my chair. Normally, I'm more confident and outgoing, but it suddenly hits me that I'm here with Miguel'sfamily. I was so focused on hanging out with him today for a mental and emotional escape that I completely ignored the obvious: this is ahugestep when I don’t even know what we are to each other. Even if he does bring random women to these parties, it feels too much like I’m meeting his family because I’m his girlfriend.

I’m not sure how I feel about that. And I’m not sure how he feels since he’s sending so many mixed signals. Something about him isdefinitelyoff, and it's driving me nuts. I kind of miss him being over-the-top with his emotions, even though that sounds stupid.

A breeze tickles my exposed arms and I shiver, rubbing my skin for warmth.It’s so weird he wanted me to take off my jacket.

Looking around, I’m overwhelmed by how much of his family is here. It’s such a contrast to my experiences growing up—just me, Brody, and our mom, since she was an only child. Miguel’s family is so big that I’ll never remember all of their names today. It makes me want to attend another family party so I can get to know them all.

That’s also why I want to run. This is only a temporary fantasy. A simple escape. I’m not trying to become invested and—seeing how happy and laid-back everyone is—I know I don’t fit. There are moments with Miguel when I forget myself and think,“Maybe I could fit with him. I could fit in this fantasy.”But that's delusional. I don’t fit with him or his wonderful, close-knit family.

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