Page 148 of Ugly Beautiful Scars

If I walk past him and grab a pregnancy test, he'll definitely see. He'll know what I'm thinking, and I can't add that burden to everything he's already carrying.

Instead, I slip back into the bathroom, leaning against the cool tile wall and trying to think.

The door opens, and a woman walks in—mid-thirties with kind eyes and a tired smile. She gives me a curious glance as she passes.

Before she can enter a stall, I say, "Excuse me. Sorry."

She pauses and waits for me to say more.

"Um, sorry. Can you… I need some help. My, um, boyfriend is right outside, and I… I need a pregnancy test. I don't want him to see me buy it." I pull some money from my wallet and hold it up. "Could you maybe get one for me please?"

Her eyes soften and she smiles. "Been there, honey. Give me the money, and I'll get it for you."

I hand her the cash with trembling fingers. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

She slips out, and I retreat to a stall, my heart pounding so hard I can feel it in my throat. What if she doesn't come back? Well, then I'd be out ten bucks. Hopefully, that won't happen.

Time stretches impossibly long as I wait, counting the seconds, listening for footsteps or voices. Five minutes. Eight.

Then the bathroom door opens again, and the woman's hand appears under the stall door. She passes me a small paper bag. "Good luck, sweetheart," she says before slipping into the stall beside me. "Hope you get the results you want."

"Thank you," I whisper, tearing the bag. My fingers shake so badly I can barely open the box for the test.

I do what needs to be done, then I wait, not breathing, not moving, as if stillness might somehow influence the outcome.

One bold line appears.

Then line number two.

Positive.

Wow.

A baby. Sean's baby. A tiny flame of life kindled in the darkness, burning bright despite everything.

I press my hands against my abdomen, feeling terror and overwhelming joy collide in my chest. Happy, hopeful tears spill over as the truth sinks in. In the middle of all this horror, we created something that's half him, half me—a future neither of us planned for but it's suddenly, impossibly perfect.

I desperately need this future with him. With our little family.

After wiping away the tears, I toss the pregnancy test and wash my hands, giving myself a few minutes to try to appear calm. I can't break this news to him yet because he needs to be focused on his mission, not worrying about me and 'what ifs.'

When I finally emerge from the bathroom, Sean is pacing. His eyes find mine immediately, and he quickly moves to take my hand.

"You okay?" he asks while checking me over, like I might show signs of being attacked or who knows what. "You were in there a while."

"Yeah. Sorry it took longer. I'm fine. Just not feeling great."

He pauses, meeting my eyes, then he just gazes at me. For a second, the purple hollows and weary lines of his face disappear and he's looking into everything that makes me Londyn. The corner of his mouth even twitches up. "I'm so glad you're safe, beautiful. I love you more than anything."

"I love you too."

He pulls me into his arms in the middle of this gas station, and I forget everything around me to fall into his embrace. I'm carrying his child and I love this man so much.

Please give us our future.

When we've hugged so long that the cashier is giving us strange looks, I try to pull back. Sean won't release me.

He kisses my temple. "One more minute."

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