Page 170 of Ugly Beautiful Scars

Sean's hand traces circles on my belly, and our son kicks in response. "And how much longer before I get to marry you?"

My heart flutters only for him. "As soon as our baby can walk down the aisle and carry our rings, I'll be Mrs. Walker-Choi."

"I'll have him walking by four months then."

I giggle. "Sure. You do that."

"I will." He places several soft kisses along my neck and then nibbles my ear. "Got any new names for me?"

"What about Kwan? I found it online. Sounds nice. Means 'strong one' in Korean, right?"

He considers it with his lips pursed. "Not bad. But what about William? Classic and timeless."

"William is what an accountant is named. Our son is going to be extraordinary."

"Fair point." He kisses my forehead. "What about Atlas?"

"Absolutely not. We are not naming him after a book character."

"Technically, Atlas is a Titan who held up the heavens, not—"

I press my fingers against his lips. "Hush, Professor. I need to finish getting the food ready before Raven arrives."

His smile warms me from the inside out, like sunshine unfurling beneath my skin. How did I get this lucky? This man who reads too much and makes silly jokes and looks at me like I'm the answer to questions he's been asking his whole life.

Sean releases me reluctantly, stealing one more kiss before moving to the fridge and grabbing a water bottle. "Well, I'll get out of your way for girls' afternoon or whatever you're calling this."

"Thank you." I turn back to my food preparations, but something catches in my peripheral vision. A shadow crossing Sean's face, there and gone so quickly I might have imagined it.

Except I know I didn't.

These moments happen too frequently; he disappears somewhere I can't follow. His eyes go flat and distant, like he's staring at something a thousand miles away. The line between his brows deepens into a canyon he's on the verge of falling into.

Then he notices me watching, and the mask slides back into place. The easy smile returns. The warmth reignites. But I've seen what lurks beneath.

Something broke inside Sean the night he faced Victor. He still won't fully explain what happened, no matter how gently I probe. I know enough—that Sean helped two women escape from The Director's yacht, that The Director himself is gone, and the women told the police they killed him in self-defense. It was a worldwide headline for several weeks. And after the yacht, I know Sean had a confrontation with Victor that left him beaten and branded.

But Sean won't give details. Did he kill The Director, or was it really the women? That scar on his chest—the 'V' carved intohis flesh—what exactly happened with Victor? What does that mean?

Whenever I try to bring it up, he only pulls me into his arms and then cups my face and says, "You're my purpose." He says it like that explains everything, and I should just accept that whatever darkness he carries doesn't matter as long as he's here with me.

I love when he says that, but I don't love that he's hiding something.

Maybe I should just 'accept.' Maybe it's enough that he came back to me, that we're building this life together. But sometimes, in the quiet moments when he doesn't know I'm watching, I see it eating away at him from the inside. Whatever promise he made, whatever debt he owes, is tearing at the edges of who he used to be.

I'm worried, but I also trust that Sean knows what he's doing. If he says everything will be okay, I have to believe that.

Still… fear is a difficult thing to unlearn. It settles in the spine and makes a home in your bones. Even in paradise, even with the man I love, even with this miracle growing inside me, I can't shake the feeling that we're living on borrowed time.

That I'll see Victor again someday.

"Need any help before I head to the beach?" Sean's voice pulls me back to our life together. He's lingering near the edge of the kitchen island with a water bottle and a book, watching me withthat penetrating gaze that always seems to read every thought floating through my head.

"Oh, no. I got this."

"How about Merlin?"

I sigh before smiling at him. "Seriously? When have you ever met someone actually named Merlin?"

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