Page 63 of Ugly Beautiful Scars

The apartment door opens with a soft click, and my heart immediately leaps into my throat.

Sean stands frozen in the doorway with takeout bags dangling from one hand. Those intense eyes widen slightly at the sight of me. His blue hair seems even more electric under the hallway lights.

"Hey," he says, his voice neutral as his gaze shifts between Mike and me.

"Hi. I was just dropping this off." I cross the apartment and thrust the book forward like evidence in a trial. My voice sounds unnaturally high to my own ears. "I figured you'd finished your other dozen or so and might need something new. If we're still on for book club?"

Sean glances at Mike, who makes a small grumbling sound before returning to the monitoring station. Something passes between them, a wordless exchange that excludes me.

Sean steps fully inside the apartment and moves past me to set the bags in the kitchen. His subtle scent—plain soap with notes of citrus—washes over me, making my pulse quicken. Does he taste like citrus too?

When he's done in the kitchen, he stops beside me. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and rocks back slightly on his heels. There's a distance in his stance that wasn't there during book club. More space between us.

"Thanks," he says, nodding at the book I'm holding. "I've actually read that one."

"Oh." The single syllable falls from my lips like a stone. "I've read it too. I really love it. That's good that you…" I fade off awkwardly because I'm not sure where I'm trying to go.

I search his face for some sign of the connection I felt the other night, but his expression remains neutral. Professional. He doesn't mention book club. The message written in the white space between his words is clear: he wants me to leave.

This isn't what I imagined at all while staring at the camera all day. But… I accept it.

"Okay, I'll let you get to your food." I force a smile that feels fragile. "Um, bye."

I don't wait for a response, just slip past him and out the door, keeping my eyes trained on the floor.

Well, that was humiliating.

My attraction to Sean pulses just as strongly as before, an insistent ache beneath my skin that refuses to stop. Yet I can't force him to share the interest or feel the same connection.

And that heavy, assessing look from Mike? It would be better never to see that again.

I reach my door quickly and grab the knob. I'm starting to twist it when I hear my name from behind.

"Londyn."

His voice slides up my spine like a hot tongue. I turn slowly, my heart hammering with such force I'm certain he can hear it from where he stands.

Sean hovers a few feet away. With a slight tilt of his head, he motions for me to follow him around the corner, away from the line of sight of the hallway camera.

Air catches in my lungs as I understand. He wants privacy. He's pulling me into a hidden corner where we can't be seen or heard. Where it's just us.

I follow, drawn to him like the moon to the earth, unable to resist the gravitational pull.

Once we're around the corner, tucked into this pocket of privacy away from the all-seeing eye of the camera, I watch Sean's face like it's the final scene of a play I've been waiting all night to understand. His tongue darts out, moistening his lips as his eyes search for words in the space between us. His gaze drops to the poetry book.

"That's a good one," he says.

I nod, not trusting my voice.

"I was thinking… I don't know if we should continue book club."

My heart plummets so fast I feel its impact in my stomach.Not what I was hoping for."Oh… okay. I understand." I nod again, my gaze dropping to his combat boots. Then I study the outdated carpet. I count the stains. Trace the rips. Anything to avoid showing how much this rejection stings.

Maybe this is a relief because it's better he rejects me now instead of when we get farther and he sees… everything.

"I really liked it though." His voice is softer now, and somehow, that makes his rejection worse.

But I'm a big girl. I've been rejected before at plenty of auditions. Rejection is just part of being an actress. I got over it then and I'll get over it now.

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