Page 65 of Ghosts of the Dead

CASPIAN

Iused to think silence meant safety. That if I stayed small and quiet, the world might pass me by and I could come out the other end unharmed. I believed that for too long.

But silence isn’t safe. It’s a cage. And now it hums, breathes, and screams. Not with sound, but with everything left unsaid between us.

Autumn isn’t speaking to any of us. Not to Mars, not to Jace, and probably not even to me, either, but I can’t tell if that’s on purpose or collateral damage from the explosion that ripped through all of us with what happened earlier at the pharmacy.

She sits near the fire with her back to the group and her knees drawn up. Luna lies curled at her feet with her head resting on her paws. Her eyes are alert, watching the shifting dynamics between us all.

Autumn’s fingers trace the stitching on the mysterious scrap of fabric, focusing on anything but the people around her. Every few moments, her free hand absently strokes Luna’s fur.

Mars paces a few feet away. The kind of pacing one does when fighting the urge to do something reckless.

Tension bleeds off him like steam. He glances at her every few steps, but when she doesn’t look back, he runs a hand through his hair and resumes pacing. His jaw is tight and his shoulders bruised, but the look in his eyes? It’s like he’d rather she hit him again and again if it meant she’d look at him once more.

Their relationship is a big regression in such a short time, but it’s the change in Autumn’s demeanor that worries me most. There’s something going on there, and I have a feeling it is more than only Lucy.

Jace doesn’t say anything, not that he’s much of a talker. He stands near the front of the small building where we made our camp with his arms crossed over his chest again. When Autumn walked past him earlier, I saw the flinch. It was a flicker at the corner of his jaw, like her absence was a physical blow. He watches her now, his dark eyes tracking the way her fingers move through Luna’s fur. A movement we’re all currently studying.

Me? I sit in silence right outside the circle of firelight, watching them all fall apart in their own ways. Watching her come undone even faster. She hasn’t looked at me since we got back, but that’s okay, because I’ve looked at her enough for the both of us.

When Mars finally drops down onto the log near her, she shifts and glances at him. The release of the tension in his shoulders is visible, and he gives her a small smile. “I don’t want to lose you, Autumn. I’m still your guardian angel, whether you want me to be or not.”

The light from the fire flickers across her face, highlighting every slight movement and turning the purple strands of her hair almost gold and silver. Her fingers tense in Luna’s fur before resuming their stroking.

Autumn smiles back after a few moments. It’s small, but it’s there. “I know. Thank you.”

Luna lifts her head and watches their interaction beforesettling back down with a soft exhale that stirs the dirt by her nose. Mars lets out a sigh of relief and turns his attention to the fire now, adding another chunk of wood. The day is hot, but we need the fire to keep the rotters away. Turns out, it also keeps Jace away. I’ve known about his fire phobia for quite a while now, and I’m starting to think not even Autumn can help him work past it.

The fire crackles enough to cover the sound of my boots crunching dried leaves as I approach. I don’t think she hears me until I’m already standing there, close enough to catch the flicker of tension in her shoulders. Luna’s ears twitch in my direction, but she doesn’t raise her head.

Autumn doesn’t glance up. Mars gives me a nod before walking off to go talk with Jace.

She sits there with her blade resting next to her against the log. The same blade I gave her. It’s half-clean and still streaked in blackened rot and something darker underneath. We fought our way through a rotter ambush on our way back to camp. It’s been through a lot of rotters in the short time since I turned it over to her. I’m glad it’s keeping her safe.

“You planning to leave it like that?” I ask.

She glances up. “It still kills.”

I crouch beside her. “Yeah, but everything that kills still needs maintenance.” I hold up the rag I swiped from my pack. “Want some help?”

There’s a flicker of something in her face. She watches me, waiting for the catch, then she nods and hands over the knife. Luna shifts at the movement, repositioning herself so she’s pressed against Autumn’s leg. Her amber eyes follow my movements as I take the blade.

I run my thumb along the edge, drawing a little blood. “You keep sharpening it like this, then eventually it’s going to bite you.”

She exhales. “Maybe that’s the point.”

I glance up and meet her eyes. “I’d rather you bite me than bleed for someone else’s war.”

She stiffens. “Is that a metaphor or a threat?”

I smirk. “Depends on if you’re into biting.”

Her mouth twitches into a smile, but then she turns her eyes back to the fire, and she’s gone again, retreating behind the quiet.

I keep my hands moving even after the blade’s clean, wiping a spot that’s already spotless. Anything to keep my fingers busy. Luna watches my hands with half-lidded eyes.

The fire crackles. Somewhere deep in the woods, a bird gives a warning call. I finally crack. “Are you mad at us?”

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