Page 66 of Ghosts of the Dead

The question comes out quieter than I mean it to. I’m not used to feeling this unsure around her. But tonight, something’s different. She’s different. I don’t know what she’s hiding, but I don’t like it.

Autumn exhales. “No, I’m not mad at any of you.”

She draws her knees tighter to her chest and rests her chin on them with her arms wrapping around her legs. Luna shifts to accommodate the new position, pressing closer to her.

“I’m frustrated with myself, though. That’s all. I’ve got some thinking to do,” she says, staring into the dancing flames.

I study her face, but she’s somewhere else now. I want to ask what she means, and try to fix whatever this is, but I know better. Autumn’s not a lock that can be forced open. “Okay, just don’t disappear while you’re thinking.”

That earns me a glance, and the faintest edge of a smile from her, but I’ll take it. “No promises.”

I pass the blade back to her, hilt-first. “Just know, if you disappear, then I’ll chase you. We all will, and that’s a promise.”

24

AUTUMN

The stars are dull tonight. They barely cut through the cloud cover. Everything feels muffled. The clouds, the wind, even my heartbeat.

Jace kneels in front of me with his brow furrowed and his hands carefully controlled as he threads the needle we scavenged earlier. He’s quiet, and so am I. There isn’t much I can think of to say while someone is sewing my skin back together.

The cut on my shin isn’t too deep, but it’s deep enough to cause concern, and it’s messy. It split open during my breakdown after finding confirmation about where Summer was. I didn’t even notice the pain until we were back at camp. Now it’s all I can feel.

“Hold still.”

“I am holding still,” I grit out through clenched teeth.

“You’re trembling.”

“I’m trying not to scream.”

Jace huffs a soft, humorless sound that’s not quite a laugh. The thread pulls through my skin again, and I let out a hiss. Jace glances up with a tight expression full of guilt. “You okay?”

“No, but it’s not your fault.”

“Still feels like it is.” His hands move again. They’re more gentle this time.

When he ties off the last stitch, he presses gauze over the wound and wraps it around my leg. He tugs the bandage snug, but not too tight, before sitting back on his heels to scan my face like he’s looking for more damage he missed.

We sit in silence for a moment longer before I break it. “I’ve been thinking about what you said.”

His jaw tenses. “Which part? I’ve said a lot of things.”

“Yeah, a regular chatterbox you are.” That earns me a small lift of the corner of his mouth. “The part about protecting me. You meant it, didn’t you?”

He pauses before giving a single nod.

I suck in a breath, and then it burns on the way out. “Why do you insist on keeping me so far away when you’ve made it your entire life mission to help me, no matter how much it hurts you?”

“To protect you.” He says it like it’s the most obvious thing, but all it does is cause more confusion.

I shake my head. “I don’t want protection right now, Jace. That’s something I’m capable of doing on my own. I want you, and I want you to stop hurting. I’m the one with the missing sister here, yet you keep taking my pain and making it your own, while still keeping me at arm’s length.”

“As I’ve said?—”

“Getting close to you will get me hurt,” I finish for him with an eyeroll. “Don’t you think that’s a choice I should have a say in?”

His fingers graze along my knee, sending a shiver through me, and he leans forward. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

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