Page 83 of Ghosts of the Dead

I tip my head. My forehead brushes his jaw, and he catches my chin with two fingers before tilting my face back up. His eyes flicker down to my mouth, then back to my eyes before he kisses me.

The kiss is soft at first. Barely a touch. Testing, waiting for me to pull back, but I don’t. I hate that it’s this messy. I hate it matters this much. But I’m not ashamed of how I feel. They each fill a different piece of me I didn’t know was missing. All I want is to not hurt them.

I lean into him, and the kiss deepens.

His tongue slips past my lips to taste me like he’s been starving for this. His hand slides to the back of my neck and holds me with care. I melt into him. My fingers curl into the fabric of his gray t-shirt, and I sink into the heat of his mouth and the strength of his arms holding me together. For a moment, there’s nothing but the two of us and this quiet, unexpected hunger. When we pull apart, Caspian’s gaze doesn’t linger on me. His eyes flick past my shoulder.

“What is it?” I twist to follow his line of sight, and I freeze.

Across the clearing, Mars and Jace have stopped sparring. Mars’s unbuttoned flannel lies crumpled on the ground, revealing his sweat-slicked torso, while Jace’s black shirt dangles from his back pocket, his broad shoulders and taut muscles on full display in the morning sun. They’re both breathing hard, but it’s not the fight that’s got their attention anymore. It’s me.

Luna sits between them with her head tilted in confusion at the sudden end of their game. She glances between them, then at me and Caspian, before letting out a small, uncertain whine.

Mars leans against the crumbled wall of the old laundromat.His arms cross over his head and his head tilts as his dark eyes watch me with a look that sends heat pooling through me.

Jace, on the other hand, stands a few extra feet away with his fists still clenched and his chest rising and falling with each hard breath. His jaw is tight, but his brown eyes are dark and burning. He doesn’t look away. Neither of them does.

Caspian’s fingers slide up and brush my hair back over my shoulder. His touch is light, reverent, and then his lips find the curve of my neck. They’re soft as they graze my skin, leaving a trail of heat in their wake.

I shiver and tilt my head on instinct to give him more, but then I feel his eyes lift away from me, and toward them.

“You’re both welcome to join,” Caspian calls out, like this is all another game to him. Like inviting them into this heat between us is the most natural thing in the world. I almost wonder if I’m imagining it.

I gasp and twist toward him with my heart lurching. “Cas, wait.”

Before I can voice my protest, he leans in. His mouth brushes my ear, his breath warm on my skin. “Let’s just see what they do.”

This is not at all what I would expect from him, from my sweet, sweet Caspian.

The shiver that rolls through me has nothing to do with the slight chill in the morning air.

I glance toward Mars first. His arms are still crossed, but his lips curl into a slow, wicked smile. He hasn’t moved …yet. Then, without breaking that gaze, he pushes off the wall.

Luna watches him move, then looks to Jace as if waiting to see what he’ll do. He stays put.

Caspian’s arm tightens around my waist enough to remind me I’m still in his lap. His chin rests on my shoulderwhile we both watch Mars close the distance. My stomach has taken up gymnastics as a new hobby.

My gaze rolls over to Jace, and my heart starts hammering too fast and loud. They should all be able to hear it, but he hasn’t moved. He’s still standing there with his chest rising and falling with sweat gleaming along his collarbone, but then there are his eyes. They’re darker now, more shadowed. They could almost rival the blackness in Mars’s eyes. The heat in them has cooled into something harder.

Jace looks from Caspian to Mars, back to me, then he turns away. There are no words, no parting shot, nothing but silence. Then, he walks off into the trees with his back rigid and his shoulders tight like he’s holding the whole damn world up on them. For all we know, he very well might be.

Luna whines, torn between following Jace and staying with us. After a moment’s hesitation, she trots after him, casting one last glance over her shoulder at us.

The air punches out of my lungs. A crack forms deep in my chest, splitting open wide and raw. I knew it would hurt, but not like this.

It isn’t until his thumb brushes a tear from my cheek that I realize Mars is crouched in front of me. I didn’t even feel it fall.

“Don’t,” Mars says with a softness that surprises me. His lips follow his thumb, pressing a gentle kiss to the spot where the tear tracked down. “Jace’s problems aren’t yours to carry.”

My throat closes, but I swallow and force the words out. “But I care about him. About all of you. I wish I could turn it off, because it’s fucking annoying.”

Mars leans in close enough that his breath mixes with mine.

“I worry about all three of you,” I whisper. My voicecracks under the pressure of the words I’ve been holding in since I started feeling them. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

Mars tilts his head. A lopsided grin pulls at the corner of his mouth. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, you know that?”

I blink, confused.

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