Page 1 of Love's Free Will

1

AVERI ST. CLAIRE

“Oh my God Serenity you look so beautiful.” I murmured staring at one of my best friends as she modeled the Vera Wang wedding dress she planned to wear to her ceremony which would be in a few months, in front of the mirror for us all to see.

The fact that she was already married to the love of her life Creed didn’t make a difference; he wanted to give her the wedding of her dreams since their first wedding was in a secret ceremony in the dead of night in a Vegas wedding chapel.

“I love the lace Tootie.” Arielle, her cousin and my other friend mentioned while sipping on her flute of champagne provided to us all by the bridal shop.

“And ya booty look big so there’s that.” Egypt, my best friend in the entire world remarked while playfully wiggling her eyebrows.

Serenity sighed while looking in the mirror. “What do you think Stink?” she asked her 7 year old daughter Cree who was too busy on her iPad.

“You’re cute Mommy.” Cree replied glancing up briefly to look at her mother.

“Cree, come on now, pay attention.” I said taking her iPad. “For a second, look at Mommy.”

My niece huffed before finally taking a real look at her mother who was smiling at her expectantly. She and her mother looked nothing alike, besides the massive pile of curls on top of their heads. If anything, Cree looked exactly like her father; nigga couldn’t deny her even if he wanted to, but he would have never.

“I like it a lot Mommy, you look so beautiful.” Cree finally said standing up and going over to stand next to her mother. She took some of the lace fabric in her hand. “But it looks a little small, is there going to be room for the baby still?”

“Cree—” Serenity said wide eyed and from the corner of my eye Arielle spit her champagne out.

“Bitch what?” Egypt and I asked at the same time.

“You’re not…”

Serenity shook her head before a smirk appeared on her face. “I am definitely NOT pregnant. Little Nosey was listening to conversations she had no business listening to.” She playfully pushed Cree.

“Y’all talking about having another baby?” Egypt asked and Serenity shrugged.

“Yeah, I mean we’ve discussed it a lot. But we both have a lot going on. He’s still finding his groove with the team, I’m always on set and not to mention I’ve been thinking about opening my dance studio. It’s just a lot and we’re already juggling all of that with two kids.”

“I can’t wait to have kids one day.” Egypt mumbled. “But hell, I need to find a man first.”

“Kids can be a blessing, but sometimes they are annoying little creatures.” Serenity said side eyeing Cree who had resumed playing on her tablet.

I just smiled, sipping my champagne. I guess I was too quiet because I felt the attention shift to me.

“Okay, what’s up with you?” Arielle asked, turning her attention to me. “You’ve been real in your head today.”

I hesitated before finally sighing.

“I don’t know, y’all. I think… being here, seeing all this, it just got me thinking.”

“About what?” Serenity asked, tilting her head.

I gestured around us. “Love, marriage, kids…Hell, a real relationship.” I let out a small laugh. “Y’all know I’ve had situationships, a couple of flings, but nothing’s ever stuck. Shit, maybe this love thing isn’t for me.”

Egypt scoffed. “Girl, you ain’t the only one. Dating as a successful black woman in entertainment? Ghetto. Zero stars.”

“I mean, I don’t even know if I have time for it,” I admitted. “My career is booming right now. With the show and I got Grammy wins, I’m finally getting taken seriously as a producer and songwriter… a relationship? That’s a whole job in itself.”

Serenity nodded in understanding. “Yeah, but you deserve both, Averi. Success and love.”

I just smiled weakly, not convinced. Was this really something I deserved, or was it something I wanted so damn bad I thought I deserved it?

Later that night after a quick bite to eat I was back at my condo in downtown LA, curled up on my plush sectional scrolling through emails while some tracks I was working on played softly in the background.

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